Sharing my house with tenants for the first time?

shabaz

Hi All,

Just need a bit of advice, Im going to be sharing my house for the first time, me and my partner broke up a month ago and its all new and kinda hard for me at the minute. The whole getting used to new people being in your space where it used to be me and him and all that...
Anyway, I will be out of the house most evenings, but the evenings im in, i like to have the girls over for a glass of wine. I have a sitting room and a dining room with tv in both, admittedly the sitting room is more comfortable, but I jsut want to know, would it be really wrong for me to point out that they can use the back room to watch the tv and leave me to sit in the sitting room? in case i have my mates round and they are sitting in the sitting room, ya know yourself, its kinda awkard? but was wondering if they kinda knew from the start that they could use that room? not being weird but its just i'll want to be in the sitting room with my mate and not if they are sitting there, or do I just have to compromise?
Now I have rented with others myself but it we were all renting from a landlord so no one owned the house, but cos I own it, you kinda feel you should have your say?

What do you all think/

How Strange

Shabaz, IMO you can't really say to people who are living in your house that they can't use such and such room if you are around. Regardless of them renting and you owning the house, they still live there.

You will have to compromise somewhat on this. Could you turn the dining room into another sitting room by buying another sofa? That way, if you do have friends around you can go to one of the rooms for privacy.

It's a difficult situation because it is your house but you are opening it up to other people to live in so you have to be sensitive to that. However, I totally understand that you want your own space to relax and have friends around.

The_Conductor

Hi Shabaz,

First of all sorry to hear of your breakup.
Unfortunately I agree with "How Strange"- you can't very well delineate which rooms are offlimits during certain times when you are in a house share situation. The kitchen and the living room are common shared areas- where someone who is renting has a reasonable expectation that they would have free access to. The private areas in the house are people's own rooms. Unfortunately- as you most probably do not want to entertain your friends in your own room- your options are very limited. The fact that there is a television in both the kitchen and the living room is pretty immaterial- its just a background distraction for most people. It wouldn't be fair to be socialising in either room and barring your tenant from entering the room- I wouldn't be very happy were I in that situation.

I was in a slightly similar situation when renting out a room in my house- in that my tenant demanded sole access to the kitchen between 6PM and 7PM every evening (as she had very specific cooking requirements and did not want my cooking to get in her way). At the very first opportunity I asked her to leave (and I have not had tenants since).

At the end of the day its up to you- but you have to understand that you are inviting someone into your home as a tenant- and that their boundaries do not end at their bedroom door.

Hope it goes well, whatever you decide to do.

Shane

PopeBuckfastXVI

I'm sorry you have to rent out rooms in your house when you clearly don't want to... thank you very much "housing boom", we've never had it better.

Unfortunately for you, you can't ask them to not use the sitting room, like it or not it is their house now too. What you could do is create another sitting room as has been suggested and have one for them and one for you (nothing to stop you keeping the big original one). But you wouldn't be free to go into theirs any more than they would be free to go into yours, which might be awkward, or it might be just what you're looking for if you only want the money and not the company.

Either way you're stuck as is with the current batch, because I assume you showed them the sitting room when you were showing the bedrooms for rent, so as it would have been a factor in their moving in, they should use it. Of course you could always just go ahead and make the changes and if they move out then get other people in with the understanding that one sitting room is yours and the other is theirs.

But this idea of "get out I want to use this room for the next few hours" is a nonsense.

Beruthiel

Would it not work if she changed the dining room into a second sitting room? One each for them - that gives both of them privacy, I know if I were a tenant going into her house I'd much prefer to have my own space and sitting room where I could do as I please. I value my privacy, I doubt I'm the only one.

patrickolee

I rented a place when in college which had a similar situation. Me, two other students and the landlady. She had her own sitting room, me and the two lads took the second room, which wasn't as nice and didn't have a tv. I thought it worked alright and didn't mind as that was the rule which was outlined when we first rented the place. Also meant we studied more as we didn't waste our time watching TV! Didn't cause a problem for us. I think as long as you are upfront with the people you are getting in, it will be ok. The worst thing to do, would be not mentioning anything and then when your friend calls over, kicking them out of the sitting room, or making them feel unwelcome. Hope it works out for you.

John Mason

Hey, i was in exactly the same both 2 years ago. When my mates come around, i now sit in the kitchen even though its not as comfortable but my house mate has the right to use the telly and stuff

but if you are lucky, your house mate will become a friend and join in with the chats when your friends come over.

My current housemate has been with me 1.5 years and if anyone comes around, she would sit with us and a have a drink and a chat.

ali.c

patrickolee wrote:

I rented a place when in college which had a similar situation. Me, two other students and the landlady. She had her own sitting room, me and the two lads took the second room, which wasn't as nice and didn't have a tv. I thought it worked alright and didn't mind as that was the rule which was outlined when we first rented the place. Also meant we studied more as we didn't waste our time watching TV! Didn't cause a problem for us. I think as long as you are upfront with the people you are getting in, it will be ok. The worst thing to do, would be not mentioning anything and then when your friend calls over, kicking them out of the sitting room, or making them feel unwelcome. Hope it works out for you.

I have only heard of this is college situations, usually digs etc where certain areas of the house are branded "off limits period", so it really depends on the person you are renting the room too.

IMHO yes you own the house and are entitled as the landlady to set down rules but at the same time how would you feel if you were renting a room in a house and where excluded from the sitting room only when the landlady had friends over? See if i was in that position it would probably wreck my head. As a tenant and paying rent i would not be up for planning my evenings around what the landlady was doing.

It could be that changing the dining room into a sitting room could work, and as Beruthiel said some tenants may also require a certain amount of privacy, giving 2 comfortable rooms to allow ample privacy. Of course you are totally justified to have a certain level of privacy and if its a route you want to go down make the sitting room of limits period or not at all equally though i guess you would have to be prepared for the tenants sitting room to be equally of limits for you.

Its going to be an adjustment one way or the other, and its an unfortunate situation to find yourself in, prehaps to you look for a friend to rent the room?

mukki

PopeBuckfastXVI wrote:

I'm sorry you have to rent out rooms in your house when you clearly don't want to... thank you very much "housing boom", we've never had it better.

i've just invented a time machine, can you tell me which year your talking about that it was easy for a single person to buy a house




use the first months rent to kit out the back room, a slightly bigger telly, a dvd player, make sure its just as warm, doubt you'll have a problem then

Knockoff Nige

Was your boyfriend allowed to use the sitting room when you had the girls over?

Plus, would you be giving your housemates any notice that the girls are cominf around? Basically, you'll find it tought o find a housemate comfortable with your living conditions.

MicraBoy

As landlord you are perfectly entitled to set what ever terms and conditions you see fit. You are offering a service and prospective tenants have the right to accept/reject/negotiate on the T&Cs. So long as it is all done up front and agreed before tenants move in then no one can complain.

From a personal stand point I would never accept that kind of condition from landlord I was sharing with, but that is just me. You may be able to compromsie by doing as Beruthiel suggested above, which sounds like a good idea imho.

I just think these kinds of limits are totally unfair. I've seen ads on Daft where the landlord asks that the tenants go home at weekends, or don't hang around watching TV all evening and it really rubs me the wrong way. If I'm paying money to share a house, I'll do whatever I damn please within reason. I'm not a child and I expect to be treated as an equal. If I share an apartment, I expect to be able to feel at home there and not like a guest, having to ask permission to do this or that. It's just way too much to ask, IMO.

I think if you aren't prepared to live with other people (and that includes sharing common areas), then don't rent out your house. Sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it. You might be lucky and find someone who doesn't want to socialise anyway, maybe someone who studies loads and stays in their room, but I doubt most people would be OK with that arrangement.

Knockoff Nige

Manuel Quaint Plan wrote:

I just think these kinds of limits are totally unfair. I've seen ads on Daft where the landlord asks that the tenants go home at weekends, or don't hang around watching TV all evening and it really rubs me the wrong way. If I'm paying money to share a house, I'll do whatever I damn please within reason. I'm not a child and I expect to be treated as an equal. If I share an apartment, I expect to be able to feel at home there and not like a guest, having to ask permission to do this or that. It's just way too much to ask, IMO.

I think if you aren't prepared to live with other people (and that includes sharing common areas), then don't rent out your house. Sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it. You might be lucky and find someone who doesn't want to socialise anyway, maybe someone who studies loads and stays in their room, but I doubt most people would be OK with that arrangement.

Yep, I agree with this. I think its very stuck up. If you rent out a room then make it someone you think you'll get along with. Otherwise you might aswell take in a dog. People should not be put away in boxes like this. Would you be cutting the avergae price of rent in half in order to get this luxury? That wouldnt even make it fair.

mikemac

I'll keep this short.

It's your house OP but it's your tenants home!
Noone wants to feel like a stranger in their own home

leeroybrown

I wouldn't be willing to put up with a situation like that in a house I'm supposed to be 'living' in. I want to share a house with people I get on with and can live with, not someone who seems like a landlord/supervisor.

sickpuppy

I think if you came up with these rules about segregation when you interviewed tenants you would still be living alone.
Personally if a house owner ilived with asked this kinda rubbish id tell them where to go and find other accomadation at my own pace.

mukki

why not ask a few of them girls to move in with ya

Electric

I lived in a house just like that, where the sitting room was off limits and I was expected to either sit in the kitchen or my room for the evening and it was sh*t! The landlady was fine and the house was nice but you knew that it was her house and at times it felt like I was an intruder. I ended up spending most evenings in my room and as there wasn't an NTL connection in my room I had to watch snowy tv to pass the time. Also I felt like I couldn't put on the heating when I wanted cos she had it all programmed and it was frowned upon to deviate from this. Basically I was paying a fair amount of money for a bedsit.

Now when I'm looking for somewhere to live I don't even bother looking at places that are owner occupied

It's really unfair to rent out your house and then expect your tenants to be second class and work around what you want to do. One of the previous posters made the point that it will be their home too! So they should be able to come, go, use what ever rooms and facilities if and when they please

If you don't want to rent out your house don't! There's nothing worse than living somewhere where you know that you are just there to pay the mortgage and as such are an annoyance which must be tolerated.

Either get a friend to move in or considering selling up and moving to somewhere you can afford by yourself

Faith

Why don't you just give the tenants advance notice when your friends are coming over? Tell he/she/they that you and your friends will be using the living room for the night, but of course they're more than welcome to join you (they're unlikely to), or use the TV in the other room.

I own my flat but my flatmate last year completely took over the living room and it was very unpleasant for me. I never felt comfortable hanging out with her friends and she'd practically sit on the remote so I couldn't change the channel. Even though I own the place, I still couldn't demand that we watch what I want, or that she couldn't use the room. It was her home too.

I didn't invite her to live with me again this year, though...

King of Kings

shabaz
when me and my wife split - i bought her half of the house and I rent one room out.
You can really dictate prohibited areas (apart from your room of course) cos they'll never relax and you'll be looking for a new tenant every 2 months. and trust me that's a pain in the ass.

anyway with most people they'll be out an awful lot.
I had a polish couple at first and they worked loads and never watched tv. in fact I felt so bad I stopped charging them for the tv bill.

anyway I'm on my second tenant - an irish fella who's froim the locality and he's rarely there too

so i've been lucky.

cailinoBAC

I've been renting out rooms in my house for 2 years now (couldn't afford not to). No way would I say that any room (apart from other bedrooms) was off limits. My tenants are paying rent not just for a bed to sleep in, but also for somewhere to call their home. Where I'm living it's impossible to be too choosy about who you live with, you just have to adapt. I've had no major problems with anybody. I'll tell them if I have friends coming over and while I don't tell them to leave the sitting room while they're there, they generally do it anyway and likewise, I'll do the same for them. As you say, it being your house, you will have the final say, but why make it a 'me versus them' scenario. You're sharing your house with these people, you don't want them to resent you. Especially if you're not even toing to be there most evenings.

Jigsaw

Why don't you just be selective about the tenant you choose and see it as an opportunity to make a new friend or something. I agree with the majority of posters here that I would not accept such conditions moving in somewhere. Are they going to have a separate shelf in the fridge etc etc? I know that you might not be renting through choice but if it something you are going to do I think you are going to have to take it on warts n all. Hope it works out for you.

chuckles30

I've rented with an owner occupier previously and she never laid down such rules. If she did I'd have been out of there quicker than she'd have known. Her house was awkward at best as she had sitting/dining room which meant there was no private space if either of us had friends over. Normally if she had anyone around I'd go upstairs and watch 'snowy tv'. It was 'her' house and I always felt in the way unless I was eating dinner and I just wouldn't take that upstairs so had no choice. Now I've moved on & bought my own place & personally there's no way I could put up with people renting rooms from me, so therefore, I've cut back on other things so that my space is just that. I can have friends over whenever I want, cook whenever I want.....but then I had done renting/house shares for 13 years....:eek: As I see it, you have two choices - rent out rooms & give up your space or don't rent & have your own space. (And listening to friends of mine who are renting out rooms I'm still very happy with my own choice)