Making a mess of things.

LegacyUser

I don't really know what I want to get out of this but im so frustrated at the moment i just want to scream.

I've been having terrible luck with guys this year. I started the year with a guy who I ended up being a total waster and was nothing but a leech. (I posted about him here) After an extremely nasty break up I finally got him to leave me alone and i started moving on with my life. That was last May.

Fast forward to now. In the last two months i've been on two what you could call dates. Both we're set ups from different friends. I don't mean to be big headed but they guys fancied me looks wise as they had seen pictures of me and had said in text messages etc that they liked me.

Both of them acted the same way after I met up with them in person. Stayed friendly for about two days and then I got blanked, the silent treatment.

I text both of them just general "Hi how are you?" messages but haven't received any replies.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It must be something to do with my personality. I know nobody here can tell me what I did wrong but I was hoping somebody would have some tips.

Thanks in advance

curiousxxx1

mantrouble. wrote:

I don't really know what I want to get out of this but im so frustrated at the moment i just want to scream.

I've been having terrible luck with guys this year. I started the year with a guy who I ended up being a total waster and was nothing but a leech. (I posted about him here) After an extremely nasty break up I finally got him to leave me alone and i started moving on with my life. That was last May.

Fast forward to now. In the last two months i've been on two what you could call dates. Both we're set ups from different friends. I don't mean to be big headed but they guys fancied me looks wise as they had seen pictures of me and had said in text messages etc that they liked me.

Both of them acted the same way after I met up with them in person. Stayed friendly for about two days and then I got blanked, the silent treatment.

I text both of them just general "Hi how are you?" messages but haven't received any replies.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It must be something to do with my personality. I know nobody here can tell me what I did wrong but I was hoping somebody would have some tips.

Thanks in advance

Maybe you are too much for them to handle!!!! Total losers both of them

Wibbs

Or maybe the OP gives off something that puts potential suiters off. This is not always a reflection on your personality. One of my women mates is a complete dote and not exactly hard on the eye and around her friends is great fun. See her on a date and it's like a personality transplant happens. She becomes cold and disinterested and would put me off and I know her. This is with guys she likes too. It's obviously nerves and she's well aware of that too. Not easy for her though.

Speaking as a bloke coldness and neediness are the big turn offs for me. An excessive amount of either of them, beyond first date nerves and I go walkabout.

Then again you could just have gotten a pair of ****.

sweet-rasmus

stop trying to find these men! they will come to you in time stop worrying and wait for fate!!

killeoin

mantrouble. wrote:

I don't mean to be big headed but they guys fancied me looks wise as they had seen pictures of me and had said in text messages etc that they liked me.



Thanks in advance

Maybe you are not as nice looking in person as the guys thought you would be from the photo?

Marksie

sweet-rasmus wrote:

stop trying to find these men! they will come to you in time stop worrying and wait for fate!!

The issue is she wasn't trying to find them, she was set up with them by friends.
Did you send the pcitures or did your friends show them pictures? and did you talk or juts text before meeting. It happens Op that the opinion someone gets from a few texts or pcitures does not conform to reality.

If they havent contacted back saying thanks but not what i am looking for then its plain bad manners. But nothing to get hung up over.

How did the dates themselves go, so-so , ok or great. How did both you and they come across? and how often were you in conversation after. was it overdoing itor just nromal?

In future. simply dont go on dates set up by friends, no matter how well meaning.

spinandscribble

i'd avoid talking about exs and it could be they were after a little fun. noone wants a meaningful relationship with someone based on a photo.

SarahSassy

Do you think they were only out for the shag? What do your friends think of whats happened? Surely there was some feedback??

sabrina99

this is just my opinion, but it may be eiter of two things.
1. they may have just been after a ride, lads have more respect for a woman they have to wait on (thats if you did). or

2. maybe the fact that you look for solutions to relationship problems on the internet (as you mentioned that you posted about an ex here too), you mighgt be slightly detached from the dating game and are not exactly brimming with conversation.

either way theres no point getting overly upset about it, if its meant to be its meant to be