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What would you do?

  • 16-09-2007 9:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Heres the short version guys. Been with girlfriend for 3 years and happy as larry. Had a bit of trouble 6 months ago and had a break for a week or two to sort our heads out and collectively decided to stay together. No trouble since.

    While on the break went out for a meal and a few drinks with a nice female friend of mine and we had great crack as usual. Absolutely nothing happened nor has it ever between us. Were just good friends in fact i ended up telling her all about my GF and the problems and she was talking about her ex-boyfriend and we had a good giggle and some good advice was thrown my way.

    GF doesn't really like me seeing old (female) friends. She has some issues with jealousy as i have lots of female friend and she doesn't have many male ones so doesn't really understand how i could go out have a good laugh and come home to her. I have no problem obliging her cause she is all i need. But i thought while the break was on that i would see this particular friend that is just so good at helping with basic problems and making me feel better if i'm down.

    Anyway, couple of nights ago this old friend asked me to go out with her to an occasion to catch up as it's been too long.

    To tell you the honest truth i really want to go. And know that nothing would happen on my part. But i'm kinda worried about if its the same thing going through her head.

    I'm also worried about telling my GF if i decide to go. I wouldn't dream of not telling her i'm going out with this friend but i don't want her to get upset in any way either.

    How do i win?

    Any advice appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    curiousxxx1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 165 ✭✭curiousxxx1


    Your GF is going to have to accept that you have friends, females or males. Sometimes it's all down to insecurities, have you given her any reason to think you may stray? She needs cajoling, but would soon understand that you need to have separate relationships with other people which doesn't involve sex.


  • #3
    Jack B. Badd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,294 ✭✭✭Jack B. Badd


    Quickoneplease wrote:
    GF doesn't really like me seeing old (female) friends. She has some issues with jealousy as i have lots of female friend and she doesn't have many male ones so doesn't really understand how i could go out have a good laugh and come home to her. I have no problem obliging her cause she is all i need.

    She is all you need? That's a bit worrying since she sounds like she has some serious insecurities! And even if she didn't, it doesn't say very much about you that you'll put one single person ahead of all your friends. I firmly believe that a person cannot live a happy, fulfilled life with only one active relationship (and I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm talking about relationships with family and friends which are equally important).

    Have you tried inviting her out to spend time with your friends, both the male and female ones? It may make her realise that she really doesn't have anything to be jealous of. Of course, if she's actively encouraging this "she's all I need" attitude then she may not be happy with you being friends with any other women, whether she's met them or not. In which case, and in the event that she won't try to change, I'd drop her faster than a hot potato because that kind of crap ain't healthy!


  • #4
    SingingCherry
    Closed Accounts Posts: 170 ✭✭SingingCherry


    Quickoneplease wrote:
    GF doesn't really like me seeing old (female) friends. She has some issues with jealousy as i have lots of female friend and she doesn't have many male ones so doesn't really understand how i could go out have a good laugh and come home to her. I have no problem obliging her cause she is all i need.

    That's just sad. Actually, two things are sad there -- that your girlfriend is so incredibly jealous that she will NOT ALLOW you to see your female friends, and that you let her get away with it and say you have no problems because she's all you need. She isn't all you need. You need friends, and you don't want to lose them and that's what's going to happen if you don't try to stay close because your girlfriend has a problem. And that's a big problem.

    Jealous is born out of insecurity and lack of trust. Both of these things will ruin your relationship sooner or later. Try to nip this in the bud now.


  • #5
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Quickoneplease wrote:
    To tell you the honest truth i really want to go. And know that nothing would happen on my part. But i'm kinda worried about if its the same thing going through her head.

    I'm not going to repeat what the other posters have said. They're totally right and you should follow their advice.

    I'm just curious as to why you now think that your female friend will be interested in something more? I'm assuming that she's aware yourself and the girlfriend got back together, so what makes you think she's after you?


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