Work is destroying me

LegacyUser

I need some advice. I'm 21, finished college (I did a diploma in film production) and working at the moment in an office that was only meant to be a stopgap until I found out what I really want to do.

A year later, I'm still in this job, still don't know what to do and I am beginning to despise it. The same thing everyday, sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours, doing things I have absolutely no interest in. I'm losing my mind. I work, come home, browse the net, sleep, repeat. The thoughts of going into work on a Monday morning make me want to crash the car. With this job my life is going nowhere, I feel like I am wasting it completely.

So I should get a new job right? But doing what? I could look for a similar one in the same area (of which there are loads) but that would only be like putting a plaster onto a gunshot wound. There are pluses to the job - mainly it is ten minutes from home, no city traffic, no responsibility, company treats us well etc. but I am just wasting my life. I believe it is slowly killing me.

Another factor is that I have a car loan. It won't be paid off until December 2008. The loan must be paid, but the thoughts of staying where I am (which was the initial plan) until then are making me feel horrible.

So what can I do? I need some advice. I need to work for another year and half to pay off the car, but I don't want to do it in the job/area that I am in at the moment. I dont want to get into film either because it's hard and I've kind of lost interest. Would a change of company be good? I don't think so because this is the type of work I want to get away from. It was only meant as a stopgap but yet here I am still

This whole situation is making me very depressed and I don't know what to do. Please help.

Strokesfan

Hey, I was in a similar situation - don't know about your area of work but I hated my job so I put my dogs into Kennels, quit my job and got a sublet of an apartment in los angeles for a month... and here I am... Of course I'm coming home to no job and financial insecurity (and looking at downsizing my car) but I've been doing some serious thinking about what my next move is and I've been doing it under blue skies.

I think because you are 21 - you will inevitably bounce back from whatever you decide and however risky it is. If you decide to travel and get a date in your head, work will be more bearable.

curiousxxx1

You need to see a counsellor or education adviser, don't lose faith.:)

bronte

you're still very young, so don't despair!
You have loads of time to figure everything out.
i'm in my twenties too, and sometimes i get a bit lost.
If you hate your job, try and think about something you'd like to do and find ways to get into it.
In the meantime try and find a job that you will like and that won't feel so soul destroying.
I hope you find what's right for you.

Zen 2nd

nointerestinjob wrote:

This whole situation is making me very depressed and I don't know what to do. Please help.

You can always do a night course, which would lead you to a more favorable career that you would enjoy.

It seems though that you'll have to stick with the job or find one slightly more bearable since you have a loan to pay off.

Just remember you are 21, I myself am 20 and won't be out of college until I'm 23!

Remember this though, if you want to be happy in a new job, you've got to get your mind set to achieve that goal rather than moping about it.

Kell

nointerestinjob wrote:

This whole situation is making me very depressed and I don't know what to do. Please help.

Um- you put yourself in this situation, so get yourself out of it. You come home, browse the tinterweb, eat and then bed, then press repeat. What about weekends on the lash? Weeknights lashing the GF?? Thursdays playing whatever sport your into??? Sunday bingo, Monday chess, Wednesday's partner swapping????

The car loan and changing job are constructs that you have invented for yourself to not get out of something that has essentially become comfortable i.e your dumb job.

Decide exactly what it is you want first, then go about doing it. You can say "uh, I dont know how to improve my situation" all you like, but unless you have a plan, you aint going nowhere.

K-

dlofnep

If you're not interested in film production, maybe you can sell your car - buy something a bit cheaper and hopefully clear your loan with it?

Then I'd advise you to go back to college and study something you have interest in. I only went back to college last year when I was 23.. so don't worry about missing out, or going to college too late or anything! Also - try find some hobby to do after work? Something to look forward to you know.. If you're going from work to home all the time, that will kick depression in.

Clear the debt.. Whether by power payments, or selling the car and buying something alot cheaper. Hopefully it works out for you! Chin up - could be alot worse.. Get yourself an i-pod! You'll be amazed by how easier sitting in front of a pc all day in work becomes.

How Strange

OP, firstly, if you hate your job that much look around for another job that pays the same salary or more (all the better). Then you need to think about what you would like to work at career wise.

You also need to get off your backside and make something happen for yourself. You are 21 so there is no need to be stuck in a dead end job you hate. If the car loan is such a burden, sell the car and buy a little banger for a few hundred.

Go see a life coach or career guidance person. It might cost a little money but from your post you seem to be completely at sea regards your career etc.
If you want to retrain then go back to college.

There are opportunities all around you but you have to make the effort on your part.

Miguel_Sanchez

Ok - first off just remember that you are still young so you're not stuck in anything at the moment. I was 22 before I even went to college so it's never too late to start off on a new path.

I realise that having to pay back the car loan is a big thing in your head at the moment - but do you really need the car at the moment. If it's turning into an albatross around your neck then you could sell it and pay most of the loan with that money.

WhiteWashMan

nointerestinjob wrote:

I need some advice. I'm 21, finished college (I did a diploma in film production) and working at the moment in an office that was only meant to be a stopgap until I found out what I really want to do.

A year later, I'm still in this job, still don't know what to do and I am beginning to despise it. The same thing everyday, sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours, doing things I have absolutely no interest in. I'm losing my mind. I work, come home, browse the net, sleep, repeat. The thoughts of going into work on a Monday morning make me want to crash the car. With this job my life is going nowhere, I feel like I am wasting it completely.

i absolutely hear every piece of pain that you are talking about.
i recently dropped from a $110k job. to a $30k job.

i am so much more poor, and it hurts sometimes when you think about doing something, and you cant afford to do it.

however, thebenefits are i am doing something i want to do. i sing on the way to work. i enjoy what i do.
life is not about money. its not about buying the latest gadget. if you can, then great. but life is about quality of life. if you hate going to work on a monday morning, and you feel like you could just die, youre stomach does that churn thing, and youre not happy, then take the hint. get out of the job.

nointerestinjob wrote:

So I should get a new job right? But doing what? .

thats the 64,000 dollar question. right?

no one here can answer that for you. only you can. but youre 21. stop having a mid life crisis. you dont have to be top of youre field at the age of 21. in fact, youre never going to be top of youre field! accept that. find what you want to do. find what interests you. find out what youre hobbies are, and see what can be done around that?
you like taking pictures, look at a photography job. know nothing about how to be a photographer? do a course? cant spare the time? do it at night.

only you can change the situation youre in.

and there is no easy silver bullit solution to it. youre just going to have to do some work to get where you want to be.

12 years ago, i flunked out of college. i got a job pressing buttons in a factory for 12 hour shifts at night. i did it for nearly 5 years. but at some stage, i realised that i couldnt do it much more. i felt the same as you. i wanted to kill myself.
but i figured i liked computers. and if i knew something about computers, i could get a job as a desktop support monkey. so i bought one. i learned about it and i got myself a job in a call centre as a techie. then i got a job as a helpdesk money. then i got a job as a helpdesk monkey. i ended up being a field engineer, designing and implementing networks.
and then i went into sales, but thats a nother story

you have no aim in life. and that will make you feel as if you are not achieving anything. that makes you think youre life is pointless, you waste your time, and that nothing is good.

i put it to you that you need to get off your arse, and figure out what you want to do. write down all the things you like and love, no matter how outlandish they appear. and then think of every single thing you think might be of interest in those ideas.

and i will give you an idea as to how i became financially poor, but spiritually rich

ive always loved games. always played them. i hated sales. it was destroying my marriage, and it changed me in ways i never wanted.
i decided when the time was right, that i would get into games. but what would i do. so i researched, and i fugured with my experience, that id actually make apretty good producer. but im not going to walk into a producer role. so i did a three month distance learning course in 3d animation and modelling.
and i got a tester job.

right now, i test games for a living. its not very exciting, but they give me a beer every friday, and i know the experience i am getting will allow me to become a producer.
exactly where i want to be.
and im 33.

its never too late to change what you are doing, and go out and better yourself if you are unhappy.

nointerestinjob wrote:

Another factor is that I have a car loan. It won't be paid off until December 2008. The loan must be paid, but the thoughts of staying where I am (which was the initial plan) until then are making me feel horrible.

you make youre own choices on what you want. get a cheaper car and pay of the loan.

nointerestinjob wrote:

So what can I do? I need some advice. I need to work for another year and half to pay off the car, but I don't want to do it in the job/area that I am in at the moment. I dont want to get into film either because it's hard and I've kind of lost interest. Would a change of company be good? I don't think so because this is the type of work I want to get away from. It was only meant as a stopgap but yet here I am still

we cant answer these questions. if you want all the car and the money or whatever, and these are the only reasons why you cant change jobs, then you are at the mercy of youre worldly goods. and thats youre own problem.

i have pretty much given you the means to change what you hate most at the moment. and thats 12 years of experience. its up to you to actually do it.

nointerestinjob wrote:

This whole situation is making me very depressed and I don't know what to do. Please help.

why are you depressed?

what is it that you actually want?

LegacyUser

'WhiteWashMan thank you that was a very motivational post. But can I ask - you dropped an awful amount of money for a completely different job - I can imagine it's hard but ultimately was it worth it? Please think about that one and give an honest answer.

Thanks for the rest of the replies. I know I have to get off my ass. I feel terrified because if something new doesn't work out I still have to pay the loan - dont get me wrong I love the car and it's what I always wanted. I will keep it and have no problem paying the loan, it's the security of income I am concerned about. I am just going to have to take a risk. I have a years experience in my current field, so if something new doesn't work out I can go back to it in an emergency right?

Week days are not as bad as I originally stated, I do have hobbies, one that keep me occupied several nights a week. So that's ok. It what I do to earn money that is putting my life on hold.

I have always been interested in aviation so today I am enquiring about jobs I can get on the field, something to do with airplanes anyway! Maybe I'll start flying again? I'm currently a qualified medic so maybe I'll go all the way to paramedic and work as that? Maybe I'll get a job in the airport until I pay off the car and then do these things? I don't know. But with the enquiries I am making I'm feeling a bit better.

WWM you are right I have no goals like I used to, so I feel like I am going nowhere and achieving nothing.

I am going to change this. I've had enough. Life is too short. I will do it.'

Crusaderjim

Kell wrote:

You come home, browse the tinterweb, eat and then bed, then press repeat. What about weekends on the lash? Weeknights lashing the GF?? Thursdays playing whatever sport your into??? Sunday bingo, Monday chess, Wednesday's partner swapping????

Good stuff Kell! He's right though...I'm in a similar situation, I dislike my job immensely! It's one of these 'Experience Jobs', i finished a masters last year but since I dont know anyone in Dublin I cant get a job without experience hence i have to stay in this immeasurable pit of despair for around a year until I can move on!

I'm currently looking for a new job that i will like and will hopefully be a LOT more interesting than the one i'm currently in. I've been languishing in this on for a good few months, its monotonous, very boring and i dont have much in common with the people i work with(which is a huge factor in why i dislike it!). But i figured out since its only a stopgap I wouldn't worry about it too much if i get in for 8 I get to leave at 4 which is great! I get paid fairly alright and since i'm the only guy in the office i'm able to get away with ridiculous excuses!!

What i'm saying is though, enjoy your time when your not in the office, do stuff you wouldnt do like the afformentioned as i've a feeling that if you get into a career, you'll have to do a lot more work which is a pain in the ass!
Look for a new job, but take your time and find something you like. It'll be well worth it. Just think of the things you enjoy, even hobbies and see is there any way you'd be able to make a job out of it! If your not ready to find a job like that, get a bit of cash together and go travelling! It will broaden your horizons and you might see something in another country that you could do there or here! Work is all about how you apply yourself, the more you enjoy it the more you apply yourself...

Whitewashman is what i'm probably going to end up like as money, though nice, certainly is not the important thing when it comes to spending 8 hours of your day! I respect what he did, big step to take and fair dues it seems to be working out! Well done man!

WhiteWashMan

nointerestinjob wrote:

'WhiteWashMan thank you that was a very motivational post. But can I ask - you dropped an awful amount of money for a completely different job - I can imagine it's hard but ultimately was it worth it? Please think about that one and give an honest answer.

yes. ot was and is worth it.

you know how i know that? because i could get a job as an account manager earning 150k a year if i want to.
but i dont want to.

but i dont expect you to take on the advice of someone on the internet
i expect you to do what you feel is right for you. just remeber what i wrote in 5 years time.

as for 'ultimately' worth it, well, i will tell you when i get there. but i still have a plan to aim for. and besides, if you love what you do, if you have passion, and if youre smart, you can still get paid well for what is pretty much your passion.

the problem is finding out what your passion is. if youre willing to give up lots of things to make it happen, then maybe its worth persuing.

if youre still worried about your car and your salary, then go and get a better paid job. its obviously all youre interested in.
i fail to see why people stay in **** jobs they dont like, when they can have better paid **** jobs.
either do one you like, or do one that pays better.

and crusader jim, its not just about 8 hours a day. what you do defines you, it effects your life and relationships. ultimately, all you can do is take responsibility for your own actions. if you stay in a job that makes you unhappy, and turns you into a prick, then dont expect any self respecting partner to to deal with all your crap

Zambia

Dear OP

You have commited a blunder by tying yourself with debt at an early age.

No car is worth this , best it will do is land you a GF you cant afford.

Sell the car, downsize your expenses then let what you want to do dictate what you do.

Your 21 your options are f**king endless/

patrickolee

You like flying... why not go to the Professional Flyte training show in the RDS this saturday.

http://www.cabair.com/careerpilot/flyershow.htm

I think I was reading before about a flight school based in spain that taught through English a commercial pilots course. Ryanair recruit from them. At 21, you've buckets of time, but you will probably need to sell the car and take out a student loan. But, hey cars are so 20th century, a career change might be more exciting.

Crusaderjim

WhiteWashMan wrote:

and crusader jim, its not just about 8 hours a day. what you do defines you, it effects your life and relationships. ultimately, all you can do is take responsibility for your own actions. if you stay in a job that makes you unhappy, and turns you into a prick, then dont expect any self respecting partner to to deal with all your crap

Couldnt agree with you more! Your job should be what you want to do and you should be happy in it! Fair dues to you for taking that step and getting out of a well paid job to do something you love. Thats why I would say that to the OP, i've realised this already in my first job and will certainly be looking for a more satisfying one when i leave this one shortly...I'm glad i've had a bad experience so early as i will be way more careful in the future.
A bad job would hopefully never turn me into to a prick but it might turn me into a moany bas7ard!:D

Jigsaw

OP, I too am in this position. I enjoy a fairly comfortable salary but it is so bloody boring I lose the will to live on a daily basis and I cannot bear the thought that I am only in my mid twenties and have to "settle" for a job. I still want that hunger that I used to have - I want to strive for something that I am interested in. I have recently decided to change things fundamentally. I thought about my career and have decided upon a new direction. I have applied for jobs and checked job websites on a daily basis and had an interview last Friday and have another in a week's time. Now I might not get either job but at the same time it is encouraging to be getting interviews and feeling as though I am making progress.

Just decide what you want, then pursue it doggedly until such time as you get what you want.

Best of luck mate.

Get a 2nd job.....I work sometimes 50-60 hours a week as I took back my part time college job at the weekend a year ago
Mainly to add some fun back into my working life mainly as I owed money on a loan and a credit card.

I got a better job but still never gave up the weekend job as it has its benefits but adds a different side to my working life.
I do get abuse like being called a workaholic also and a total maniac as my social life doesnt stop but i'll do it as long as I have the energy

My collegues are all about 10 years older than me at least..some know I've a second job and some don't ...I don't feel it relevant

My best mate has recently decided to take a paramedic course to suplement her knowledge as a beautician and as an extra career option

pid()

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i absolutely hear every piece of pain that you are talking about.
i recently dropped from a $110k job. to a $30k job.

i am so much more poor, and it hurts sometimes when you think about doing something, and you cant afford to do it.

however, thebenefits are i am doing something i want to do. i sing on the way to work. i enjoy what i do.
life is not about money. its not about buying the latest gadget. if you can, then great. but life is about quality of life. if you hate going to work on a monday morning, and you feel like you could just die, youre stomach does that churn thing, and youre not happy, then take the hint. get out of the job.



thats the 64,000 dollar question. right?

no one here can answer that for you. only you can. but youre 21. stop having a mid life crisis. you dont have to be top of youre field at the age of 21. in fact, youre never going to be top of youre field! accept that. find what you want to do. find what interests you. find out what youre hobbies are, and see what can be done around that?
you like taking pictures, look at a photography job. know nothing about how to be a photographer? do a course? cant spare the time? do it at night.

only you can change the situation youre in.

and there is no easy silver bullit solution to it. youre just going to have to do some work to get where you want to be.

12 years ago, i flunked out of college. i got a job pressing buttons in a factory for 12 hour shifts at night. i did it for nearly 5 years. but at some stage, i realised that i couldnt do it much more. i felt the same as you. i wanted to kill myself.
but i figured i liked computers. and if i knew something about computers, i could get a job as a desktop support monkey. so i bought one. i learned about it and i got myself a job in a call centre as a techie. then i got a job as a helpdesk money. then i got a job as a helpdesk monkey. i ended up being a field engineer, designing and implementing networks.
and then i went into sales, but thats a nother story

you have no aim in life. and that will make you feel as if you are not achieving anything. that makes you think youre life is pointless, you waste your time, and that nothing is good.

i put it to you that you need to get off your arse, and figure out what you want to do. write down all the things you like and love, no matter how outlandish they appear. and then think of every single thing you think might be of interest in those ideas.

and i will give you an idea as to how i became financially poor, but spiritually rich

ive always loved games. always played them. i hated sales. it was destroying my marriage, and it changed me in ways i never wanted.
i decided when the time was right, that i would get into games. but what would i do. so i researched, and i fugured with my experience, that id actually make apretty good producer. but im not going to walk into a producer role. so i did a three month distance learning course in 3d animation and modelling.
and i got a tester job.

right now, i test games for a living. its not very exciting, but they give me a beer every friday, and i know the experience i am getting will allow me to become a producer.
exactly where i want to be.
and im 33.

its never too late to change what you are doing, and go out and better yourself if you are unhappy.



you make youre own choices on what you want. get a cheaper car and pay of the loan.



we cant answer these questions. if you want all the car and the money or whatever, and these are the only reasons why you cant change jobs, then you are at the mercy of youre worldly goods. and thats youre own problem.

i have pretty much given you the means to change what you hate most at the moment. and thats 12 years of experience. its up to you to actually do it.



why are you depressed?

what is it that you actually want?

Listen to this man. I was in a job I absolutely hated. I had to call it a day. Had a long chat with a very good mate of mine and it all became clear, and to be honest I've been smiling since that day. It's only a job, there are lots of them out there. If you don't like it, get up and go. Get something you do like. I was depressed for about 24 months before I decided to take control of my life. Ever since I've done this I haven't looked back. I enjoy my job, the money is great and it may be stressful at times but that's what adds to the rush of it (for me at least). I'm in a job I have dreamt of being in since I was 12. That advert from monster.ie was brilliant, the one with the kids listing what they want to be. Don't cut yourself short.

You Suck!

WWM FTW!

Op, your young, abuse the fact! You'll have the rest of your life for responsibility and work. My personal recommendation would be travel, but its for you to find an avenue that will keep you happy. Also debt kills your freedom, and imo should be avoided at all costs, except where it may be required to fulfill your responsibility's(ie kids and house). Dump the car and pay off your loan then take stock of how you can enjoy your life before it catch's up with you.