101 Strange Beliefs of Jehovahs Witnesses

Dennis the Stone

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/2919/reasons.html

dlofnep

23. You cannot buy girl Scout cookies

lol?

Sofaspud

I come from a Jehovah's witness family (well, my da's one), and an awful lot of those were complete bollox.
He's pretty serious about it, but he never baptised any of us (his kids) 'cos he wanted to allow us to make up our own minds about religion. Nobody in the congregation cares about this or "shuns" him, and they're always friendly to us (the kids) when we attend meetings once a year (which we just do out of respect for our da)

Some of the more normal bits are true, as well as the bit about blood. I don't know about a lot of it though, 'cos I don't really care about the religion.

Feel free to ask questions

(and google about JWs stance on smurfs if you want a cheap laugh)

GhostInTheRuins

I don't know about your dad Sofaspud but a friend of mine is a JW and a hell of a lot of those rules relate to him.

He goes to "meetings" 3 or 4 times a week and goes round to peoples houses, knocking at their doors. His family never celebrate christmas, halloween, birthdays etc and in his wallet theres a notice that says something along the line of "I don't want to recieve blood if I'm in a accident", that's the most disturbing one of all. Plus he's going out with a non JW and he does all he can to stop any of his family finding out about her because they'd be pissed off or something. He told me they pretty much believe everything thats written in the bible :eek:

princess-lala

29 - you cannot be a cheerleader - ha ha ha lord why would people become a JW in the first place

Plug

princess-lala wrote:

29 - you cannot be a cheerleader - ha ha ha lord why would people become a JW in the first place

A bit like why would anyone believe in God or Satan.
no im not a goth:(

bluto63

54. Women cannot pray in the presence of men without a hat

Jesus Wept

bluto63 wrote:

54. Women cannot pray in the presence of men without a hat

The crappy link isn't working. :mad:



That sounds a bit ambiguous bluto, are the women or the men meant to wear a hat.:p

Earthhorse

41. Jesus did not die on a cross but an upright pole.

Oh c'mon! Now you're just nit picking.

littlebitdull

57. Only officially approved sexual practices are allowed in marriage

Anyone else wondering what they might allow????? Considering the strong missionary concept of being a JW ....

littlebitdull

D.T. Jesus wrote:

I don't know about your dad Sofaspud but a friend of mine is a JW and a hell of a lot of those rules relate to him.

He goes to "meetings" 3 or 4 times a week and goes round to peoples houses, knocking at their doors. His family never celebrate christmas, halloween, birthdays etc and in his wallet theres a notice that says something along the line of "I don't want to recieve blood if I'm in a accident", that's the most disturbing one of all. Plus he's going out with a non JW and he does all he can to stop any of his family finding out about her because they'd be pissed off or something. He told me they pretty much believe everything thats written in the bible :eek:

Fits in with everthing I witnessed as a "friend" of a JW. I can follow their thinking about the blood. And they do take the bible as fact. But then again arnt all christian beliefs meant to do that?

GhostInTheRuins

littlebitdull wrote:

57. Only officially approved sexual practices are allowed in marriage

Anyone else wondering what they might allow????? Considering the strong missionary concept of being a JW ....

I did a quick search and came up with some interesting results, from the official jw site I think.

I'll just copy and paste a few bits for the laugh.

Masturbation: "masturbation is no mere innocent pastime but rather a practice that can lead to homosexual acts(this is mentioned over and over again, **** makes you gay )......Did you know, for example, that mothers and fathers who stroke the genitals of their fretful babies to keep them quiet are unwittingly encouraging them to become masturbators later on?..............abnormal, mentally deranged people are notorious masturbators and many mentally disturbed priests and nuns are chronic masturbators"

Oral sex: "indulging in such perverted use of the reproductive organs so as to satisfy a covetous desire for sexual excitement is not approved by God. This would also be true in connection with married couples; they should not pervert this "natural use of the female." No sane person would abuse his or her own human body, or force upon it a practice that was revolting, unnatural and disgusting......Such practice and advocacy could even lead to expulsion from the congregation.

Rape: "According to the Bible at Deuteronomy 22:23-27, an Israelite engaged girl threatened with rape was required to scream. Thus if a Christian woman does not cry out and does not put forth every effort to flee, she would be viewed as consenting to the violation. Would it be different if the man had a weapon and threatened to kill you if you did not submit? No, the Scriptures plainly state that Christians are under obligation to "flee from fornication."" :eek: :eek: :eek:

Fits in with everthing I witnessed as a "friend" of a JW. I can follow their thinking about the blood. And they do take the bible as fact. But then again arnt all christian beliefs meant to do that?

I was raised a catholic and whenever I was thought anything in school we were always told that most of the stuff in the bible are just made up stories with good morals attached.

littlebitdull

As a non christian myself I was under the impression that all christians believed the bible to be a work of fact passed down from their god, and not a work or fiction - which I personally believe it to be.

Sofaspud

Earthhorse wrote:

41. Jesus did not die on a cross but an upright pole.

Oh c'mon! Now you're just nit picking.

That's more of a translation issue, they just believe crucifix was translated to mean cross, but whatever the word in the original bible was actually meant "stake" or something similar.

littlebitdull wrote:

Fits in with everthing I witnessed as a "friend" of a JW. I can follow their thinking about the blood.

They basically believe that the blood carries the spirit of the person, and that it's like their life force. To accept other peoples blood is probably like depurifying yourself or somesuch.

D.T. Jesus wrote:

Stuff about sex and ****

In fairness, that's pretty much the same as any other religions belief (with the exception of those kinky protestants), it just happens to be worded strongly there.

littlebitdull

Sofaspud wrote:

They basically believe that the blood carries the spirit of the person, and that it's like their life force. To accept other peoples blood is probably like depurifying yourself or somesuch.



.

New Testement of the Holy Bible.... Book of Acts Chapter 20 Verse 15...

But the we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.

So it is written so shall it be !!

littlebitdull

Which considering the history of the blood transfusion service in this country is probably not such a bad idea !!

rossie1977

my personal favourite:
71. Women must submit to Watchtower elders

ohhh horny ba*tards, them elders

GEDI

66. Jehovah's Witness meeting places have no windows

Thats a load of bollox

LegacyUser

I work with a JW...and Iv had many a debate with here on the religion. Shes believes in it totally.

But there are some worrying aspects of the faith. the first and foremost in my mind was they read a revised version of the bible...that was written in 1969 I think...under the supervision of the watchtower society. basically they re-wrote the bible to suite thier own needs.

an example of this is the word "Worship" in relation to Jesus. They removed all references to the worship of Jesus in thier version of the Bible....yet left it in when speaking about Satan. In total the word worship was replaced 55 times.

The other biggie is that the faith claims to be the one true channel by which God communicates to us...through phrophacies. The 2 most important ones were that Armageddon would occur in 1914 and the return of the Antichrist in 1925.....and here is where the contradictions begin.
From the book of duetronomy:Deut. 18:22, "If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him." If someone makes a false prophecy, and they have claimed to be a prophet of God, then they are false prophets and are not to be listened to.

The World is still here and so the prophecy must be false...so they are false prophets....

anyway...theres loads more I could say...but anyone interested should check out this link.

http://www.carm.org/witnesses.htm

GhostInTheRuins

I completely forgot about that, that they predicted the end of the world countless times, and then just pretended that they never did when it doesn't come true. I heard about a load of people basically giving up their lives, selling everything etc, when they were nearing the "end times" in the 70's and 80's.

BaZmO*

D.T. Jesus wrote:

Masturbation: "masturbation is no mere innocent pastime but rather a practice that can lead to homosexual acts(this is mentioned over and over again, **** makes you gay )......Did you know, for example, that mothers and fathers who stroke the genitals of their fretful babies to keep them quiet are unwittingly encouraging them to become masturbators later on?..............abnormal, mentally deranged people are notorious masturbators and many mentally disturbed priests and nuns are chronic masturbators"

WTF???

What type of parents do that apart from paedophiles???