my poem - please comment

KyleO

For those who shake their fists at their god for causing all this hurt,
For those who stare, in great despair, at the wonders of the earth,
For all the families, who sit and cry, drinking cups of tea,
Waiting for news, to see if they'll lose their loved ones to the sea -

Always wet, always deep, at home in the sea,
just never forget, that forever more, you'll be a hero to me,
Now I know for sure, that you'll never run out of air,
I'm a hundred per cent sure, that I'll see you down there -

- The sea is powerful,never to be controlled,
She picks her heros, both young and old,
Escorts them down to her deepest part,
To protect her soul and guard her heart...

SuperSean11

Deadly well done:D

MooseJam

very good, thanks for sharing

JC_VILLA789

not bad. i think though you should think about trying reaarange some of the words to get the exact same amount of syllables in each line. that way it rolls a lot easier off the tongue. It's also commonplace in songs/poetry about the sea as the flow of the words are supposed to resemble the waves on the ocean - constantly flowing and crashing on point.