Read friends GFs email-she likes me.

LegacyUser

I know there is a similar thread below but this happened to be last night and tbh im still a bit in shock.

Basically i had a few friends around my place last night to watch the match a school friend of mine lives around the corner and we have been good friends for many years. He has a GF of 6 years. Anyway she asked could she use her laptop to check her gmail as their wireless was broken so she fired ahead.

Anyway about 30 mins after the match everyone went home and i decided to go porn hunting... I also have gmail and when i opened the page it was her email, yes i couldnt resist a snoop!!

I found a long thread of email and chat to one of her other friends(i wouldnt know this person that well) but in it my friends GF was saying about how she thinks im really kind and considerate and hunky (her words not mine!) and how whenever i date a girl she always gets jealous. And how when were all going out as a group she would always make an extra effort.

Then i read the last couple of emails. I may be in line for a relocation to the US for work (Manhattan to be precise) and she was saying that if i went she'd be heartbroken and would feel empty. The final part was that i have a work ball in 3 weeks and i am single and its a bring a date type event, my friend will be in the UK for 4 days and she was saying to her friend that shie hopes i'd ask her(never even entered my mind) and that if it got closer she might ask me to bring her as she'll be at a loose end...and thats where she might finally get to kiss me. At this point i almost fell of the chair!

Then a new email came in from her friend to ask "did you go around to ****** tonight? how was he looking etc..." So i sat tere at the laptop til about 1 in the morning. I read some of her older mails and she was saying to this friend that she's always thinking of excuses to knock over (which when looking back she always knocks over alone about 3-4 times a week with an odd excuse to be there) just so she can see me.

Now dont get me wrong shes an attractive girl and a good laugh not a hope in hell i would do something like that to my buddy as i know he wouldnt do it to me.

But now what do i do?

Beruthiel

emailemail wrote:

not a hope in hell i would do something like that to my buddy as i know he wouldnt do it to me.

But now what do i do?

You already know the answer to that question yourself.

jawlie

I agree with Beruthiel, most people who ask "what should I do now" already know the answer to their own question, and merely want to either have it affirmed by others or bathe in it for a while.

Wibbs

Nothing. If you tell your mate you may end up being the bad guy. If you confront her, she'll rightfully freak at you for reading her email*. Chalk it up to experience and make sure you don't put yourself in a position where you may do something thick. There's often nothing so attractive to a man as knowing a woman finds him attractive. Leave well alone.



*FFS Does anyone respect privacy anymore? Jesus. I know a few peoples email details including two of my exes and it has never occurred to me to snoop. Indeed one of the exes is an ex precisely because she read my emails. She didn't find anything as there was nothing to find. She got shown the door because of it. This isn't some high horse BS either, it's simple bloody manners.

Pompey Magnus

emailemail wrote:

Then a new email came in from her friend to ask "did you go around to ****** tonight? how was he looking etc..." So i sat tere at the laptop til about 1 in the morning. I read some of her older mails and she was saying to this friend that she's always thinking of excuses to knock over (which when looking back she always knocks over alone about 3-4 times a week with an odd excuse to be there) just so she can see me.

Did you open the new email yourself? If so then when your friend goes to check her account she will see the the new email, see that it has been read, and know that it wasn't her that opened it. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out who might have done it.

neacy69

Depeche_Mode wrote:

Did you open the new email yourself? If so then when your friend goes to check her account she will see the the new email, see that it has been read, and know that it wasn't her that opened it. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out who might have done it.

Gmail > More Options> Mark as unread

AnonoBoy

Be flattered by the attention but don't acknowledge it in anyway. It may just be a safe little crush that she never really intended acting on (despite what it says in the emails) and she would be mortified if anyone found out. And livid at you for reading her emails.

She is your mate's girlfriend and if you did anything you would lose the trust and friendship of him and probably more (and rightly so).

Don't do anything about it and definitely try to avoid her while your mate is away.

biko

"Repeat above posters"

MagicMarker

AnonoBoy wrote:

Be flattered by the attention but don't acknowledge it in anyway. It may just be a safe little crush that she never really intended acting on (despite what it says in the emails) and she would be mortified if anyone found out. And livid at you for reading her emails.

She is your mate's girlfriend and if you did anything you would lose the trust and friendship of him and probably more (and rightly so).

Don't do anything about it and definitely try to avoid her while your mate is away.

Don't do anything. Although very bad form on her part after 6 years with your friend!!!!

If anything i'd make some remarks when in her company about cheaters and how they're all bastards etc.

Talliesin

emailemail wrote:

But now what do i do?

Stop reading people's emails.

Also, do you have self-esteem issues that makes you think someone fancying you is such a rarity as to be all that noteworthy - why not just consider the possibility that you are attractive to some people?

cowzerp

MagicMarker wrote:

Don't do anything. Although very bad form on her part after 6 years with your friend!!!!

If anything i'd make some remarks when in her company about cheaters and how they're all bastards etc.

Yeah thats what i'd do too..

Saruman

I hope she is not a boards.ie user because even though no names were mentioned.... that was a very good description

As everyone else said.. do nothing, forget it happened. Maybe if they break up some day and you leave a good time between it something might happen.

DublinWriter

emailemail wrote:

But now what do i do?

Bear in mind that if she was prepared to cheat on your mate, then she'll more than likely cheat on you when the next best option comes around.

Raskolnikov

The OP is single, if the friends GF started making moves on him, then I think he's perfectly within his right to hook up with her. I know I'm going to hear howls and catcalls from holding this opinion, but I don't think the OP has anything to lose here. The relationship with her current boyfriend must not be up to much if she's so willing to go behind his back.

Even if the OP was caught, I think he would be doing his friend a favour. Better for the girl to be caught out cheating now, than a few years down the line when the couple are married.

cowzerp

Raskolnikov wrote:

The OP is single, if the friends GF started making moves on him, then I think he's perfectly within his right to hook up with her..

He should not cheat his friend out of it-the bird is just a stupid stalker, should have dumped your man long ago if she was interested,stay away from her and dont lead her on.

krinpit

Raskolnikov wrote:

The OP is single, if the friends GF started making moves on him, then I think he's perfectly within his right to hook up with her. I know I'm going to hear howls and catcalls from holding this opinion, but I don't think the OP has anything to lose here. The relationship with her current boyfriend must not be up to much if she's so willing to go behind his back.

Even if the OP was caught, I think he would be doing his friend a favour. Better for the girl to be caught out cheating now, than a few years down the line when the couple are married.

That's crazy talk! Are you in a similar situation or something?

Raskolnikov

krinpit wrote:

That's crazy talk! Are you in a similar situation or something?

I'm happily attached at the moment.

Buuttttt, if I was single and in the OP's shoes, I would probably take the advice I gave.

krinpit

Raskolnikov wrote:

I'm happily attached at the moment.

Buuttttt, if I was single and in the OP's shoes, I would probably take the advice I gave.

And what if you were in his mate's position. Would you think it would be fair to be treated like that by your girlfriend and your friend? It's probably the worst case scenario it terms of basic decency.

Petey2006

Wibbs wrote:

*FFS Does anyone respect privacy anymore? Jesus. I know a few peoples email details including two of my exes and it has never occurred to me to snoop. Indeed one of the exes is an ex precisely because she read my emails. She didn't find anything as there was nothing to find. She got shown the door because of it. This isn't some high horse BS either, it's simple bloody manners.

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. I've had the opportunity to do the same, but despite overwhelming curiosity, never did.

Beruthiel

Raskolnikov wrote:

I don't think the OP has anything to lose here.

Except his friend.

Anti

Would you risk it for a biscuit??

Seriously, dont go there. Forget you ever read the email.

Raskolnikov

krinpit wrote:

And what if you were in his mate's position. Would you think it would be fair to be treated like that by your girlfriend and your friend? It's probably the worst case scenario it terms of basic decency.

People aren't possessions and they can't be bossed around or told how to feel. If my girlfriend did the dirt on me, I would of course be upset but I'd also take the pragmatic view, it was better happening now than later.

Raskolnikov

Beruthiel wrote:

Except his friend.

Fair enough, but I've given my reasons and you can take them as you like :cool:

MagicMarker

Raskolnikov wrote:

People aren't possessions and they can't be bossed around or told how to feel. If my girlfriend did the dirt on me, I would of course be upset but I'd also take the pragmatic view, it was better happening now than later.

Clear something up for me... Does 6 years count as now or later?

K-9

MagicMarker wrote:

Don't do anything. Although very bad form on her part after 6 years with your friend!!!!

If anything i'd make some remarks when in her company about cheaters and how they're all bastards etc.

+1

Maybe keep a wee eye on her for your friend, and not that eye!:D

It's a bit worrying that she would consider kissing you after 6 years with the mate.

What age is she?

Beetlebum

Seems to me she may have wanted you to read her mails, she may have wanted to get caught by you in the hopes that you'd betray your friend because you feel the same way?...Just a thought...

Anyway, reading other peoples mails is never a good idea. It's very disrespectful. Avoid this girl and let her get over her silly crush. She sounds like a dishonest b*tch anyway to be carrying on like that.
Oh, and don't pat yourself on the back too much for decling the chance to sleep with your buddys girlfriend! You did read her emails afterall.

LegacyUser

Seanies32 wrote:

+1

Maybe keep a wee eye on her for your friend, and not that eye!:D

It's a bit worrying that she would consider kissing you after 6 years with the mate.

What age is she?

Shes 26 as am i, the question about "what do i do now" was more along the lines of should i tell my friend rather than should i bang her.

TBH i think she may be bored with him as he wouldnt be really into going out apart from the local where as she likes to dance and have cocktails etc etc.

LegacyUser

Beetlebum wrote:

Seems to me she may have wanted you to read her mails, she may have wanted to get caught by you in the hopes that you'd betray your friend because you feel the same way?...Just a thought...

Anyway, reading other peoples mails is never a good idea. It's very disrespectful. Avoid this girl and let her get over her silly crush. She sounds like a dishonest b*tch anyway to be carrying on like that.
Oh, and don't pat yourself on the back too much for decling the chance to sleep with your buddys girlfriend! You did read her emails afterall.

Maybe she did, like i said shes ok looking but banging a friends girlfriend is not something i'll be doing. As i had an expereince not too long ago where a "friend" was banging my girl and lets just say the after events are not nice.


Ok i know i shouldnt have read her mail but lets be honest 99% of people would have read her mails.

Knockoff Nige

Was the question 'should i let my friend know he's going out with somone who may cheat on him?'. If so then no. You ahve no idea if anythign has happened in the past and she has never made a pass on you. Putting it simply, if you have any doubts about whether you'll 'accept her offer' if the opportunity arises, then wise up.

People need to learn their boundaries. Other peoples emails are not for you to read even if it might look like it was planted there for you.

How Strange

OP, as the saying goes eavesdroppers rarely hear any good about themselves so next time you are tempted to snoop remember you may learn something that you'd rather have not known.

I know its tempting, if given the opportunity, to read the mails but it is private and you are showing a complete lack of respect for that person.

I'm guessing you and your friends are early 20's and this girl is alittle immature and bored with her 6yr relationship at such a young age. She is looking for a little diversion so she has created a scenario of fancying you. But that does not mean she would actually go through with it.

If you act in any way on this information that you gleaned then you are taking advantage of her and your friend. If you had to ask the question of 'what do I do' then I reckon you are playing out the different scenarios in your head and wondering if you could bring her to the ball for an illicit snog while your friend is away.

someothername

Beetlebum wrote:

Seems to me she may have wanted you to read her mails, she may have wanted to get caught by you in the hopes that you'd betray your friend because you feel the same way?...Just a thought...

...not a bad theory at all......

but still id pretend i didnt read them and carry on as normal. in fairness you didnt even think of her as a "friend" date for your work function so its pretty obvious the feelings only run one way.

carry on as normal till you go to the states for work and dont look back.

Jack B. Badd

OP, if I were you I'd take this as an oppotunity to distance myself from this girl. It's hardly good manners to be snooping around someone's emails but since you have you may as well take advantage of the situation you're now in. I didn't get the impression from your post that you were particularly interested in hooking up with this girl and some distance between you might help her sort herself out.
In any case, look at it from your mate's point of view - having your girlfriend cheat on you would be bad but having it happen with one of your mates must be so much worse!

Canis Lupus

I'd say to get in there.

But then when it comes to the crunch time I'm just words on an internet forum and don't have to face possible repercussions like getting caught etc.

But in saying that, you just gotta make sure you don't get caught.

Beruthiel

emailemail wrote:

should i tell my friend rather than should i bang her.

Tell your friend what? We've all 'thought' stuff, but you can hardly hang someone for thinking now can you? As of yet, she hasn't acted on it in any way that would be considered out of order.

event

Raskolnikov wrote:

The OP is single, if the friends GF started making moves on him, then I think he's perfectly within his right to hook up with her. I know I'm going to hear howls and catcalls from holding this opinion, but I don't think the OP has anything to lose here. The relationship with her current boyfriend must not be up to much if she's so willing to go behind his back.

Even if the OP was caught, I think he would be doing his friend a favour. Better for the girl to be caught out cheating now, than a few years down the line when the couple are married.

you sound lovely

Dont do anything. Dont tell anyone. Just be extra careful to avoid being alone with her.

channaigh

maybe she's really bored in her relationship has set her sights on u knowing nothing can come of it. its just a crush on her behalf i've had loads of crushes on my bf friends didn't go on about it as much. ah just kiss her her heading off anyway

channaigh

can i go to the ball with u

~Rebel~

Do nothing except maybe distancing yourself from this chick. Theres nought to tell your buddy either really as sh hasn't actually done anything. If in the future she tries it on then its something you have to worry about.

And dont invite her to your ball!

Carrigart Exile

You're going to the states and guess what she leaves her gmail open on your computer; a beautiful stitch up and I applaud the young lady.

Forget it, get to teh states and enjoy every minute

hullaballoo

At first I thought this sounded like something simple along the lines of a fantasy, which we are all allowed to have, even when in relationships. She's probably sharing it with a friend, as some close friends sometimes do. I would not have thought that she'd actually do anything to act upon it at all.

However, leaving the browser open on her gmail page is a little too careless just to be an accident. I'd agree that there's a possibility that she meant for you to find it.

That said, if you did let her know that you found it, it would burst her bubble completely, no matter what your reaction was. I'd ignore it and keep her fantasy going for a little longer. It could be something she enjoys. As soon as you react to it, you lose the 'untouchable' veneer that many people are really attracted to.

SoupyNorman

hullaball&#250 wrote:

However, leaving the browser open on her gmail page is a little too careless just to be an accident. I'd agree that there's a possibility that she meant for you to find it.

She could have x'ed out but not hit the 'sign out' button which as all seasoned gmailers know will reopen the last account within a short timeframe so I dont believe that it was an intentional gesture. Also she would of had to left a mail open too in order for the OP to innocently glance at the open mail and should you spot your name as a result of that innocent glance then you WOULD continue reading.

However it is a shame if you intentionally opened the girls mail, she could have been discussing and number of personal issues and to invade someones privacy like that is disgraceful.

Good on ya she thinks your a babe but if for a second you think that (from one bloke to another) this :

emailemail wrote:

was more along the lines of should i tell my friend rather than should i bang her

Was your true initial thought then I believe that you are barking up BULL$HIT ALLEY.

In all reality there is nothing to tell your mate, shes just throwing words back and forward to her friends, she hasnt acted on them. If she does then you have a case but until then deflate that head of yours and keep your nose out of other peoples emails.

Dave!

Just forget about it and try not to end up in any compromising positions with her, or you may feel tempted! Move on and forget you saw the email.

edit:

No I wouldn't tell your mate.

sweet-rasmus

confront her with the truth, or leave it and do nothing. you can't play with her head. do NOT tell the boyfriend!!!

SingingCherry

Wibbs wrote:

*FFS Does anyone respect privacy anymore? Jesus. I know a few peoples email details including two of my exes and it has never occurred to me to snoop. Indeed one of the exes is an ex precisely because she read my emails. She didn't find anything as there was nothing to find. She got shown the door because of it. This isn't some high horse BS either, it's simple bloody manners.

Agreed. Seriously. People need to stop reading other's email. It's borderline obnoxious at this point.

You also know what to do -- he's your friend. Let it go and stop reading her email.

Manic Moran

neacy69 wrote:

Gmail > More Options> Mark as unread

Short, and to the point. (Unless it was already unread, in which case, don't)

Come on over to the US as planned, we've got quite a nice selection of lasses for you to choose from. Many of whom will go for you just for the accent. At least, that's the way it's supposed to work, didn't seem to happen for me, though it might just be because I'm weird.

NTM

NextSteps

It's a crush. Be flattered but ignore it. We all fantasize.

B00MSTICK

Think hullabulu is right with the fantasy talk, girls love drama (most of them anyway)

sabrina99

i have had a couple of situations like that. imo the best thing to do woul dbe act like nothings changed. if your heading stateside you get away from it all anyway. but i would keep an eye on her and obviously if she gets off with other fellas you have to tell your mate everything as she is probably a tramp

LegacyUser

'

Beruthiel wrote:

Tell your friend what? We've all 'thought' stuff, but you can hardly hang someone for thinking now can you? As of yet, she hasn't acted on it in any way that would be considered out of order.

True but it is a big red flag that she is writing reams of e-mail about some other guy ...'