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Help with the opposite sex

  • 11-09-2007 5:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am just sick of this I can never get with women and it is driving me mad.

    Like ive had a lot of chances but im never willing to make the 1st move because I am afraid of rejection and look like a fool.

    Its really frustrating like the only way I have gotten any sort of action is because of the girl making the 1st move and making it clear she is interested.


    But when I some how am talking to a girl and I am unsure if she interested I wont do anything.

    The hole getting with girls in nightclubs well that never happens for me, the only time I have is because one of my mate knows her.

    I often act like I am not interested even when I really am.

    If I saw girl on her own, giving me the eye I have no idea what to say when I go over to here and I would not have the confidence to go over there and talk to her.

    Like in general I make friends very easy and will go up and talk to a complete male stranger and start talking away but I just cant make myself do it with a women.

    What can I do?

    rant over :D


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    In a nutshell, you need to start taking more risks. :)

    Make the first move. If you get rejected or feel foolish, so what, its practice for next time. Its not going to scar you forever. Just let it go and try again?

    As for talking to women, were not an alien species. Talk about whatever it is you would normally talk about, something that interests you.
    The easiest thing is to ask the girl about herself... it makes the conversation roll and keeps the focus off you if youre self concious. Dont worry so much about is she/isnt she interested, if you just see it as a conversation,not a competition to get somewhere, maybe youll relax more.

    So in order to fix this, you need to be brave, take a deep breath and go and make that move! Sure what have you got to loose apart from your nerves?;)

    Good luck, btw :D


  • #3
    Anto McC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Anto McC


    I was a lot like yourself untill someone told me that the worst thing any girl can say is no, so i decided why not chance it. It's served me well, you might find as in my case, the majority will say no but they'll all be polite about it and some say yes which is obviously what your looking for. if you don't ask, you'll never know.


  • #4
    Petey2006
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭Petey2006


    I'm kinda like the OP. However, once the ice is broken, I do fine. It's that first part that I'm dreadful at. How can you break the ice with a complete stranger? Not that I'm looking for lines or anything. Just ideas!


  • #5
    Anto McC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Anto McC


    Just talk about anything. Obviously chat up lines don't work so talk about anything, something general that she'll have some kind of opinion on. If your in a club/pub say something like "it's really warm in here, isn't it?" it's a start but it's not too forward. She'll let you know from the first thing you say whether she's interetsed or not. If she's short and snappy, she's not but if she answers nicely, she'll be nice enough to let you down gentle, after a few more minutes, if shes not interested.


  • #6
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    fustlad01 wrote:
    Like in general I make friends very easy and will go up and talk to a complete male stranger and start talking away but I just cant make myself do it with a women.
    Try to make at least 4 new women friends (and just friends) over the course of the next month. Do not try to get into any of their knickers (don't actually tell them to **** off if they try to get into your pants though, no need to be stupid about this). Trying this could be educational.


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  • #7
    purpledragon677
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭purpledragon677


    i know rejection aint nice but you have more chance being happy by jus lettin yourself talk to ppl then leavin things.

    i mean there are worse things in life then being rejected and at the end of it all you will find someone who makes ya happy!!!:)


  • #8
    nellyshark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 455 ✭✭nellyshark


    Chin up,

    Right probably not the best way to do it but force yourself to talk and practise chattin up the less *aatractive* ones and that will give you more confidence with the ones you like.

    Might sound like stupid advice to some but it does work :)


  • #9
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    fustlad01 wrote:
    I can never get with women
    fustlad01 wrote:
    the only way I have gotten any sort of action is
    fustlad01 wrote:
    The hole getting with girls in nightclubs

    I'm picking up a few undertones of sex desperation from your post...perhaps girls are picking up similar in RL? Try just making friends without any intention of taking or wanting things to go further & see how you get on? hth :)


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