cant make friends can be really lonely

channaigh

hi
any suggestions how to make friends with people i just can't. i have a bf and a daughter but no close g/f any time i make friends with someone they always end up moving away or something. My sister has loads of friends but even she doesn't invite me out on night outs with her and we work together. I havn't been out since march.

There must be something wrong with me. I don't come across deseprate. i know i'm quite when around new people and girls pick me up as bitchy i hav been told this then they get to know me get on grand but thats it. i don't know.

Knockoff Nige

People generally stay in contact with others when they share an interest and need advice about it or to brag about it. When all you have to talk about is the weather, you'll soon find yourself on your own. Its easy to suggest for you to join a club but make it something you havge a real passion for. Then you'll find yourself asking peoploe about it and making friends along the way. Making friends is an occupation but not necessarily hard work.

Also, I notice alot of popular people seem to be full of gossip on others and thats the reason why they are popular. Dont fall into this and dont feel you have to have gossip on someone just to win friends. Ask people questions (without being too intrusive) and make them feel good about themselves.

How Strange

There must be something wrong with me. I don't come across deseprate. i know i'm quite when around new people and girls pick me up as bitchy i hav been told this then they get to know me get on grand but thats it. i don't know.

OP, I'd say you are trying too hard because you are alittle desperate. I don't necessarily mean anything bad by that but if you really have no friends then when you meet someone who is friendly you try very hard to make friends with them.

As the previous post said, take up a course that you have an interest in and you will gradually meet people through that. Get involved in your community if you can. Rather than being preoccupied with 'making friends' try to get involved with different things and you'll find you'll make friends as you go along. And take it easy on yourself, it's not a competition. Just because your sister has lots of friends doesn't mean you have to match her friend for friend.

To be honest, most folks find that they are friendless as some stage(s) in their lives for whatever reason but you just meet more people as you go along.

surhythms

Its just so hard to make new friends especially if you are over 30 like me - it has taken me nearly 2 years to build up a real new friends network after splitting up with my long term boyfriend - What kind of stuff are you into? How old is your child?

D Bronc

You really need to get out there and make some new friends (easier said than done), but it dosent need to be pubs you go to. There are other options like parent and toddler groups (as you have a child), swimming, cinema (you dont need a group of friends for this), even an Adult Learning Centre, ive seen them advertised recently, even BINGO but its a couple of hours out of the house.

You will make friends and hold on to the friendship, but it will take time, just enjoy going out and friends will follow:) .

channaigh

I do all that. I go to the gym 2 a week. I'm now starting my masters in hairdressing i work as a hairdresser i'm talking and laughing with people all day. I just seem to get forgotten about until somebody wants something from me.

My daughter is three. See my best friend parnter in crime went to oz last december we just clicked and went out all the time she even lived in my house. just don't have the same craic with other girls.

I love hair and talking about hair and suggestion styles to people thats my love

surhythms

there is a website - www.magicmum.com - you can chat to other mothers on there and everyone is really nice - Ive a nine year old myself - most of my mates live outside Dublin aswell and most are married etc - try that site - its so hard to get out there i know!

Pinker

Try to make the effort if you meet someone you want to befriend, take the initiative and suggest to go to some event together, it may seem strange atfirst but you have nothing to lose.

Lazarus2.0

channaigh wrote:

I do all that. I go to the gym 2 a week. I'm now starting my masters in hairdressing i work as a hairdresser i'm talking and laughing with people all day. I just seem to get forgotten about until somebody wants something from me.

My daughter is three. See my best friend parnter in crime went to oz last december we just clicked and went out all the time she even lived in my house. just don't have the same craic with other girls.

I love hair and talking about hair and suggestion styles to people thats my love

I moved to Dublin around 2 yrs ago with the hubby and our 2 kids and still find it very hard to make new friends, I want to go swimming and the gym to loose weight and to get fit, I have asked a few ppl if they would be intrested but to no avail!. I am not a person that will go to places like that on my own as i can be very self aware. So i know where you are comming from! It is very hard as most people I know have a very close knitt comm of friends and its hard to "Fit in ".

Knockoff Nige

nessyguin wrote:

I moved to Dublin around 2 yrs ago with the hubby and our 2 kids and still find it very hard to make new friends, I want to go swimming and the gym to loose weight and to get fit, I have asked a few ppl if they would be intrested but to no avail!. I am not a person that will go to places like that on my own as i can be very self aware. So i know where you are comming from! It is very hard as most people I know have a very close knitt comm of friends and its hard to "Fit in ".

It seems theres alot of people on here in a similar circumstance. Perhaps you could arrange to meet up and start doing things together.

channaigh

thats an idea anyone agree

Lazarus2.0

Knockoff Nige wrote:

It seems theres alot of people on here in a similar circumstance. Perhaps you could arrange to meet up and start doing things together.

Sounds like a plan to me I dont work at the mo so I am free from 11am onwards with the kids and from 5 pm without the kids :P.

Me daughter she has just turned 4 and me son will be 3 next month.