help please!!!

LegacyUser

how do you break up with someone who has already told you they wouldnt be able to take it again???

Dudess

You really need to give more information. Just how sensitive is this person? Do they have problems that would require professional help (I'm not being smart, genuinely wondering) or are they just lacking in coping skills and incapable of dealing with the adversities life throws at them (which we all have to deal with, and worse, from time to time) and therefore not above the odd bit of emotional blackmailing?
If you break up with them will it be the second time you have broken up with this person, or is the last time they are referring to a break-up by someone else? Why do you want to break up with them?
Maybe give a bit of the background story.

milkerman

Take the insomniacs advice - more info needed

Doctor DooM

More info required but it sounds like emotional blackmail on the part of the break-ee.

davyjose

Be sensitive, be considerate, tell them to their face, explain why. Give them time to get over it. Be there if they need you. And understand if they call you up crying etc. In other words give them a soft landing, and try to be a little less concise than you were with us.

the_syco

SDooM wrote:

More info required but it sounds like emotional blackmail on the part of the break-ee.

Agreed. OP, break and run. If the other half wins this round, they'll use that excuse for every arguement they think they're losing.

If you're unsure if they'd go through with what they're syaing they'll do, tell their parents, and let them know that you don't stand for emotional blackmail.

Oh, and more info, please.

Sleepy

The same way you do with anyone else. You tell them you're no longer interested in pursuing the relationship to their face and leave. If you're genuinely that concerned about what they might do to themselves call one of their close friends / family afterwards and tell them. It's no longer your problem.

axer

davyjose wrote:

Be there if they need you. And understand if they call you up crying etc.

OP Im not sure there should be any contact for a long time after you break up with this guy/girl as contact only prolongs the situation. As davyjose said "Be sensitive, be considerate, tell them to their face, explain why." After that the breakup is a breakup and act that way. Commit to the breakup as you would a relationship as to do otherwise is not fair on either party.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Go travelling?

If that's not possible then the sooner the better. If you put it off you'll resent him/her more & more, end up being horrible to them & eventually just telling them.

Talliesin

unknown 65758 wrote:

how do you break up with someone who has already told you they wouldnt be able to take it again???

As soon as possible.

Once someone pulls crap like that on you, pretty much anything short of physical assault becomes okay.

Normally I'd say that SMSing a break-up is pretty low, but in this case why not?

LegacyUser

well see it would be the second time breakin up and see i did love him but im not so sure anymore this was are kinda like we give it a proper go again and its jus not rely workin for me but see he still sees us together forever and all tat he has family problems and things like tat and i have kinda helped him come out of his shell but he told me he cant not let it work again it has to work and i care bout him alot and rely dont wanna hurt him but i dont rely know wat to do about it

Talliesin

unknown 65758 wrote:

he told me he cant not let it work again it has to work

Don't walk, run.

milkerman

I am sorry, I really did not get all of that. Please take your time to fully explain the circumstances.

BoozyBabe

unknown 65758 wrote:

how do you break up with someone who has already told you they wouldnt be able to take it again???

You just do it.
Your life, your happiness.


I dated someone for 5 years. Lifelong depression. Said I was the only thing worth living for, etc, etc.
Like you, I cared for him, I loved him even, it just wasn't meant to be.
I hung on for a long time because I didn't want to 'kill' him, but in the end, I realised my life was on hold until I broke up with him.

So I did, I've never looked back, & guess what:- he coped fine.

If your heart's not in it just walk away. You do neither of ye any favours by staying.
Trust me on that.

Best of luck

BaZmO*

unknown 65758 wrote:

well see it would be the second time breakin up and see i did love him but im not so sure anymore this was are kinda like we give it a proper go again and its jus not rely workin for me but see he still sees us together forever and all tat he has family problems and things like tat and i have kinda helped him come out of his shell but he told me he cant not let it work again it has to work and i care bout him alot and rely dont wanna hurt him but i dont rely know wat to do about it

Text him what you typed above and he'll be so busy trying to decipher what you're trying to say that he won't have time to worry about being dumped.

Just tell him it's over and that's it. As other's have said, if you're worried that he's gonna do anything stupid just tell one of his friends. He's no longer your problem. It may seem harsh but it's even harsher for him to be using emotional balckmail.

Dudess

BaZmO* wrote:

Text him what you typed above and he'll be so busy trying to decipher what you're trying to say that he won't have time to worry about being dumped.

We're dead for this, but... LOL!!!