Love Lost In A Hail Of Gunfire.

LegacyUser

Couldn't think of a better title for this post so I decided to use a song title.

I know that this may be somewhat "emo" or whatever but I need advice and help.

About three months or so ago my ex asked to have a break in our relationship at least until after the leaving cert. I understood completely because it was a testing time for both of us with the last minute studying and stuff.
About two weeks or so before the leaving cert began I received a text saying that she didn't want to go out with me anymore. We were together almost a year and to get dumped by text was very harsh and I was and still am quite cut up about it. I felt lonely, ugly and heartbroken.

I asked if we could still be friends and if we could still go to the debs together and she just said no.
If I try to talk to her I get blanked. It's like I don't exist to her anymore. It's a really horrible feeling to be cut out of somone's life so suddenly, especially when you've loved that person for so long.

I'm still not over her. I still love her and if say a song comes on the radio I automatically cry. I just can't help it.

I've kissed girls since then but it's just not the same. Is there anybody who has gone through something similar who can help me get over her. I know deep down that she's not worth it and she's being immature about the whole thing but she's almost always on my mind.

Thanks for reading and any advice/suggestions is welcomed.

Knockoff Nige

I think most men have been here done that. It's insulting and doesnt half make you think the worst about yourself. But, the reality of it is, she's immature and bottled it. She probably wanted it over when you both agreed for the break. Women are the new men, in the sense that they treat us worse than we treat them. They are the new players.

seamus

Knockoff Nige wrote:

But, the reality of it is, she's immature and bottled it. She probably wanted it over when you both agreed for the break.

I'd agree with this. She was 99% sure that she wanted out of the relationship, but left you there just in case. When she was completely sure that it was over, she didn't have the guts to tell you face-to-face. I know it's cliched - but time heals all wounds. Accept now that she's gone, it's over (consider her dead to you), and eventually it won't hurt so much. You'll probably never forget the feelings, but as time passes they will fade. When you meet someone better, those feelings will seem trivial.

Perhaps it's just me, but there seems to be an increase in women who want to "sort their head out". They ask for a "break", as this gives them time to think but leaves them with a man dangling on the hook, just in case.

The problem with a break is that it leaves the other party in limbo. They sit tight in the hope of a reconciliation, while the other person goes off and does whatever they want. My advice to anyone on the receiving end of a "break", is to treat it like a "break up". There's no such thing as putting a relationship "on hold". You can't put your emotions "on hold". Grieve, get over it - the relationship as you knew it, is dead.
If you do end up getting back together, then it's a whole new relationship - you will be two different people after having gone through the break up.

Varkov

If she was such a sly bitch that she'd keep you hanging as a failsafe your better off without her, timing was probably a bit **** though, just before the LC.

Your just starting your new life now, so a fresh start couldn't have come at a better time. Focus on collage or job, whatever your doing. Garantee you she'll be at the back of your mind in no time.

CathyMoran

I agree with Seamus. Having been on the recieving end of a break we both ended up doing our own thing which is what you should be doing. Life is too short for regrets, Miss right is out there for you somewhere, have fun searching.

muppetkiller

Knockoff Nige wrote:

I think most men have been here done that. It's insulting and doesnt half make you think the worst about yourself. But, the reality of it is, she's immature and bottled it. She probably wanted it over when you both agreed for the break. Women are the new men, in the sense that they treat us worse than we treat them. They are the new players.

She's probably about 18 ? of course she's immanture she's a teenager as are you (In the relationship sense). Telling you by text was lame but maybe she doesn't want a relationship so serious when both of you are so young.
As for the 'I felt lonely, ugly and heartbroken' ? Ugly ? Alarm bells when I read that one. You come across as someone with a severe self image problem here..

Did you constantly text her during your break or was there no contact ? based on your thread you probably did and she didn't respond very often..
If you did maybe you were freaking her out ?

Trust me this will seem funny in a few months when your a single guy in College and have hundreds of women to pick from..So in a way she just did you a favor
OOOHHHHH to be single in First year in college ..happy memories lol

Agent J

Ouch that sucks. Even as a teenager dumping by text is weak.

I'm just going to repeating whateveryone else has said but i want to empathise one thing. Whatever it takes to get over it by the time college kicks in then do it. Dont let it hang over your 1st year in college.

Phantron

My ex-girlfriend did that to me. Just toally froze me out.

My feelings are weird for her. It's like I'm under this default setting where I still feel for her, but because of the way she did it (and not necessarily what she did) I have this overwhelming hate towards her too. I still haven't gotten any closure on the issue and if I ever bump into her, it's at a time when I reeeeeally don't want to talk about it either (with friends on a night out or something similar).

My solution is, get a kickass new girlfriend. Helped me plenty anyways

Girls do stupid things every so often, usually because they don't know what they want to do. She's likely under a lot of stress. Like you said with the leaving cert. I bet she's really concentrating on doing well in college too and probably has (unfairly) identified you as the focal point of her problems.

I've seen that happen too. Just be cool. There's way better girls out there with their heads screwed on the right way.

Talliesin

Pitfer wrote:

Couldn't think of a better title for this post so I decided to use a song title.

Maybe at least pick a song title that is related to your thread?

Pitfer wrote:

I know that this may be somewhat "emo" or whatever but I need advice and help.

Only the first bit was.

Most of this post was about a genuine cause of upset. You started the post by inflating it though. When you've had to clean away your lover's blood and gore from your driveway, maybe then complain about hails of bullets. Until then pay more attention to what's actually going on for real.

You're grieving for what you lost. Magnifying it with comparisons to something more will prolong that.

Phantron

Talliesin wrote:

Maybe at least pick a song title that is related to your thread?
Only the first bit was.

Most of this post was about a genuine cause of upset. You started the post by inflating it though. When you've had to clean away your lover's blood and gore from your driveway, maybe then complain about hails of bullets. Until then pay more attention to what's actually going on for real.

You're grieving for what you lost. Magnifying it with comparisons to something more will prolong that.

Yeah I'd give the original post a 4/10 for accuracy relating to thread title myself.