Funny real life stories

Loomis

Was talking to my Mam and her work colleague this morning and he was telling us about the sex talk he got when he was in school. He said the priest who came into them was at least 70 and literally his opening line was "Well, the man's penis goes into the woman's vagina." At this the whole class started pissing themselves, being young obviously. He said the priest had a habit of pointing while talking, using his baby and index fingers, and did so with his sole reaction; Bastards! You're a bunch of dirty bastards! And he left the room.

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Archeron

Once upon a time, thanks to a lethal combination of 1/2 pound of dolly mixtures, an ice cream, a pint of milk, and childhood stupidity, I suffered a near fatal dose of explosive diarrhea in the bushes in the front garden of a complete stranger in Blessington. To make matters worse, I was on a bus when it occured and had to ask the driver to stop, so there was about 50 people pointing and laughing at me when I got back on a few minutes later.

jobonar

Archeron wrote:

Once upon a time, thanks to a lethal combination of 1/2 pound of dolly mixtures, an ice cream, a pint of milk, and childhood stupidity, I suffered a near fatal dose of explosive diarrhea in the bushes in the front garden of a complete stranger in Blessington. To make matters worse, I was on a bus when it occured and had to ask the driver to stop, so there was about 50 people pointing and laughing at me when I got back on a few minutes later.

ouch sounds like fun! :eek: what age were you at the time?

Archeron

jobonar wrote:

ouch sounds like fun! :eek: what age were you at the time?

I'd guess about 12.

Dave!

Was on holidays in Kerry when I was a nipper... We were staying in this place that had just a looooadd of bungalows dotted around the place, and they all looked the same. I was in the playground playing, when I got the sudden urge to poo So quick as a light I ran back to the bungalow, saw the door was open, so went straight into the toilet, and had the two-sey to end all two-seys! Destroyed that toilet! All of a sudden, there's knocking on the door, and someone calling "Stephen?" Well I nearly sh*t a brick (:D), but I cleaned up and opened the door, only to see some oul' one standing there looking at me in horror, clutching probably her grandson. Realising my mistake, I turned on my heels and high-tailed it outa there

If someone else posts in this thread about some bloke breaking into their bungalow to take a sh*t, you can take it that the stories are related!

Slow Motion

This one time...In band camp.... Oh wait ....:D