The Old Ex Girlfriend Problem

LegacyUser

Regular poster goin unreg.....

Was at EP over the weekend and I bumped into an ex g/f of mine (we went out for 3 yrs when we were maybe 20-23, im 27 now) and put it this way we aint seen each other in maybe 3 yrs and last time wasnt pretty, it ended up in tears on both ends (we madly loved each other and kinda broke up over a few silly lil things) we met each other once or twice since and never really spoke or discussed what happened (we were both with different people at the time)

Anyhow we chatted for the guts of 3 hrs, and she was tellin me she was in a relationship with a guy for 2 yrs and they broke up but a while after he died of something bizarre (haemorrage I think), which really cut her up, anyhow a flood of old feelings and memories came flooding back between the pair of us and we kind of agreed to meet up sometime and catch up, problem is dopeyhole (me) never got her phone number and I lost her as soon as we drifted away for a few mins.....

I do have her email address though so I can contact her that way and I know where she works so I can call in (even though it be embarassin as ****, im not good with this kinda stuff!) problem is, Ive been thinkin about those yrs we spent when we were younger and more foolish, and id really love to give it another go, I got a feeling that she might aswell (otherwise I wouldnt be posting this)

Another thing is I have a fcuk buddy (no strings for both of us) but I know I would drop her like a hot snot in no-time for one more chance with this girl!!!

We all make mistakes (we both did when we went out with each other) and I think we both deserve a second chance together and I cant get her out of my mind (I literally cant sleep since ive met her, love!?)and I think the only way I will is if she's in my bed again

I dont mind puttin my neck on the choppin board if she say no, but I cant see that happening, my question is, how do I approach it, the email isnt the best form of communication as she basically only checks them once in a while and wouldnt be exactly computer-profficient or checkin them all the time!

Pop into her in the shop she works in town? Send her flowers? Or just email and wait prob 3 weeks til she checks it again and then sends me her number?
I dont wanna appear to be dying for her back, even though I am....

Im not in work again til 2mw so PI heads advise away and ill check it tomorrow!!!!

Any help appreciated guys....

Ickle Magoo

If you know where she works why not write her a letter - just say what you would in the e-mail...

low

Don't write her a letter. Jesus Christ this isn't 1790. I'd say email her but the fact she doesn't seem to check her emails a lot. I'd drop into the shop if I could when I knew it was empty (if that's possible).

ircoha

he who dares wins: send the flowers with ur fone number. u run the risk of a letter going astray in the shop

Drift

Step 1: Log of boards
Step 2: Walk, drive, cycle or transport yourself to location of the shop.
Step 3: Walk in shop door.
Step 4: "Hello"



Like low said if you can pick a time that the shop is quiet all the better.

jdivision

Do you know when the guy died. Not to be negative but that could be why she was so emotional and maybe projecting her feelings for him onto you. If you know and you think there's been long enough for her to get over that then contact her.

Ickle Magoo

jdivision wrote:

Do you know when the guy died. Not to be negative but that could be why she was so emotional and maybe projecting her feelings for him onto you. If you know and you think there's been long enough for her to get over that then contact her.

See, that's what I was thinking - if she's been mourning this guy & was emotional & all these feeling came flooding out to the OP, then the OP turns up at her work completely unexpected, she might get a bit freaked out. Nothing to do with using more modern modes of communication & everything to do with giving the girl every opportunity to take on a new relationship or request for relationship at her own speed.

If the OP feels confident she would take him turning up at her work well, then I agree, that's the best option.

SarahSassy

Ah give it a go. If nothing else, she will know that you didnt take her number and just not call her...

Pop into the shop. Tell her you lost her number and see if she wants to meet for a drink / food sometime.... Good luck and dont anticipate problems before they happen.

Magic Eight Ball

Her ex-boyfriend passed away, maybe she isn’t ready for you turning up with flowers and love letters, and least of all.. another relationship!!

Chill.. Maybe she’ll contact you.

SarahSassy

He was her ex, so maybe she IS ready to start seeing someone again.... OP, the worst thing she can say is 'no thanks'.....

Chinafoot

Drop the fúck buddy before you approach her tbh. If you want to make a go of it you should do it with a clean slate for both of you. Think how she'd feel, regardless of the outcome, if she ever found out you had this other girl on the go while trying to get back with her.

Go see her in the shop. Tell her you forgot to get her number and you'd like to catch up (like you both said you would) sometime when she's free. Take it from there.

Good luck

comewatmay

Ok forget all that flowers/cards bullcrap and do the following.
Get the number of the shop from the phonebook, ring it, ask for her, say you lost her number and wud she send it or organise to meet up during that phonecall.then if ye meet get her number and things may progress.Way to early to be thinking of flowers she would get freaked out

Pyr0

Go into the shop and say hello !! Its not rocket science ! Ask her did she enjoy the festival little stuff like that, give her your number and ask her to send you a text after work or whenever she isn't busy to possibly arrange a chat over lunch sometime ! Its not like you're a complete stranger to her !

Good luck !

K-9

comewatmay wrote:

Ok forget all that flowers/cards bullcrap and do the following.
Get the number of the shop from the phonebook, ring it, ask for her, say you lost her number and wud she send it or organise to meet up during that phonecall.then if ye meet get her number and things may progress.Way to early to be thinking of flowers she would get freaked out

+1, play it cool, keep them guessing and as we know from boards, will he ring me? why didn't he call in? etc. etc. Women love a bit of drama!:D

Then again she's probably already posted, why doesn't he call? The 3 day rule is over and some have posted forget about him, he never bothered!:eek:

LegacyUser

Well had a result last night, she got my number and called me! Great success!
I dont know where she got my number but prob through old mutual mates of ours, but she picked up and called me, I was delighted and we had a very deep chat about what happened back in the day, just to get it in the air cleared!

Even though we said there would be no delving into the past....

Im goin on hollyers end of the week so i'll be meetin up with her when im home...

@ Trevor and Jdivision : I realise the death of her ex is still burning in her head so believe me ill take it handy with her, wont rush anything.....

@ Chinafoot : consider the **** buddy dropped already!

Thanks again for all the replies people, im still so fcukin delighted I just kept bouncing around the house and she was texting me till the wee hrs, kinda like the old days

Aww thats so sweet delighted for you:)

jdivision

Good luck with it but do bear in mind our points as you've said you will

Gilgamesh

I think it is pretty simple.

you like her, you think she still likes you, grow some balls and go to the shop and talk to her, say you forgot to get her number, and ask for it, surely she won't fob you off for asking for the number.

I am kinda surprised why people never seem to see the obious when feelings get involved.


btw, nice to be back :-)

mathie

<-- went out with a girl for 5 years broke up and got back together. Is now engaged (yes to that same girl)

Go for it!
Esp. from the sounds of how you broke up.
If you broke up for some reason that will probably still be there then I'd say no but this sounds different.

LegacyUser

'Mathie has just inspired me with his words of wisdom there! The fact that we broke up maybe 4 yrs ago might be a bit different than him and his g/f but im glad to say I have high hopes, the pair of us have gone through mad **** in the last few yrs, I wont go into too much but mainly deaths, sickness ( her dad and my dad) and misery, I think the pair of us deserve a lil happiness together to make up for the rollercoaster we endured, without each other being there for each other (if that makes sense?)

Now I cant wait til I come home from my holidays ( I aint even goin til Fri! ? ) so I can try get things back to normal, slowly of course....

In regards to the shop thing, I wouldve got it wrong anyway! She transferred to another branch and I didnt know til last nite and if I had of gone in im sure I wouldnt have had the balls to ask one of the girls where she was as they all kinda know each other and are in a lil clique together and im sure as soon as I walked out of the shop theyd be on the ph to the other branch "Some fella was here lookin for ya" im sure she wouldve put 2 and 2 together then....


Im still walkin around punchin the air here in work gettin lil butterflies thinkin of having her back......

Again, thank you boardsies for your ever-present sound advice and makin me think of the other things aswell....'

Magic Eight Ball

EPLover wrote:

Well had a result last night, she got my number and called me! Great success!

I told ya so..
Best of luck mate.

CathyMoran

It is lovely to have a happy story for once, I hope that it all works out for you

Ickle Magoo

CathyMoran wrote:

It is lovely to have a happy story for once, I hope that it all works out for you

That's for sure!! Thanks for coming back & letting us know OP - best of luck!

el tel

Well done you but I feel sorry for your f**k buddy. Even 'no-strings' has some strings. Poor girl...

davyjose

el tel wrote:

Well done you but I feel sorry for your f**k buddy. Even 'no-strings' has some strings. Poor girl...

Yeah well, she knew the story...

Well done OP, this is a lovely story. Hope it all works out.

kelly1979

just to say, she took the hard step that u were supposed to take and that takes a lot of courage, to be fair, if i think u should send some flowers to the place where she works before u head off on hols, just as a romantic gesture

kelly1979

...oh and congratulations!! sounds like after all these years yee still have feelings and chemistry, me and my boyfriend broke up for a year, got back together and the relationship is stronger than its ever been, time apart can really seal a relationship, so best of luck with it and enjoy the hols, knowing that u've got someone special to come back to, just take it slow

LegacyUser

'Update :

Well I arrived back from hols on Saturday, she came over to me and stayed with me Saturday night, we took things pretty easy all the same (no sexy time), just had a few bevs and talked crap for a while, we did kiss n cuddle a lot, like old times, and she slept in my bed with me, grand job.....

We spent yesterday at the beach and went out for grub etc and had a lovely day so I told her I needed to take things slow for both of our sakes, fair enough...

She is still very cut up bout the ex fella dying ( I also found out he was a lot older than me - he was 37 im 27, shes 27) so I know this is where I have to put the brakes on myself, take a back seat and be her friend and try to control myself....

Its still very early days yet but hopefully we can work it out and things will be okay, im a bit apprehensive myself aswell due to how hurt she still is but ive got to be there for her as much as possible...

Again, thank for all the replies, will tell you how this one pans out again in another couple of weeks!!!!'