Beer 911

Tom Dunne

Brothers, I have a problem. Well, I don't, a good friend does.

While he was speaking to my wife over the weekend (he didn't even have the balls to say it to me :mad:), he passed some girly remark about Heineken making him feel, well, bloated. I mean, WTF?

Get back up off the floor, there's worse to come.

He proceeded to tell her that he was thinking of switching to Coors Light. :eek: I just don't know what to do with him. He has obviously lost all control of his faculties. I can't take him outside for a good beating (he's 6'2", I'm 5'10"), he won't be a man and talk about his problem, so what can I do?

I fear this is a slippery slope and next thing he will be going to the gym and sipping smoothies.

Jesus Wept

An intervention sounds in order brother....

Think Chrissy's intervention in the sopranos....
except with more beating from Paulie, Tony and Sil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi-P-HWubbI

Nurse: He slipped off the kitchen counter spraying for ants?!

Tony: .......well, he was wearing socks.

trout

tom dunne wrote:

I fear this is a slippery slope and next thing he will be going to the gym and sipping smoothies.

Sounds like your ex-pal has got in touch with his inner metrosexual loon.
And that's OK ... let him have his Coors light. Live and let live.

As you say, it's a slippery slope, and bound to end up with him drinking cocktails with tiny umbrellas, and not in an ironic way. :cool:

Slow Motion

Invite him to the bar ! I'll ask Dark Jager to put on his lime green bouncer jacket and bar exit, we'll hold him down and force feed him hino until he realises the error of his ways ! Only however if you think this potential metro is worth the hassle of recovery !

pid()

Jesus Christ tom, that guy is in urgent need of BGRH intervention. Coors Light? I wouldn't drink in the same pub as him, let alone chat with him while he's being a big jessy!

I can understand him going off Heineken, that's grand. I think we've all done that at some point. Get him to try Carlsberg and see how he gets on. Failing that, turn him into a stout man.

Tom Dunne

pid() wrote:

I can understand him going off Heineken, that's grand. I think we've all done that at some point. Get him to try Carlsberg and see how he gets on. Failing that, turn him into a stout man.

Carlsberg - you are a genius, Brother pid(). I'll get him on the Carlsberg. He used to drink it a long time ago.

Anything to stop him going girly.

Zaph

Coors L**** is mostly found in bottles, so I suggest that every time your friend looks away you smack him in the head with his bottle of the muck. Repeatedly doing this might induce an aversion-therapy type response. Of course seeing as he's bigger than you it might also result in a black eye or a broken nose for you Brother Tom, but it'll be worth it to save a friend from The Dark Side.

Also tell him to stop watching tv ads, a man shouldnt know what bloated is.

The Bollox

My Brothers. I slipped over the the Dark Side last night. I had some... I can't say it! *deep breath*

Bud Light

. I... I don't know what came over me. well never again! it was like drinking alka seltzer! no taste what-so-ever! what a load of shíte. I'll be making sure to stock up on Wife Beater in the future

Zaph

Brother Bollox, you have brought shame onto this forum with that revelation, go to the bar and absolve yourself with copious quantities of hard liquor.

AlmightyCushion

Now brothers bud light isn't all that bad (it is around 4%) and can be acceptable to drink if it is on special offer. That way you cna get more of them for the same money as another beer.

The Bollox

it's the principal, my dear fellow. that's like saying it's acceptable to buy a series of Emerdale on DVD just because it's more affordable

AlmightyCushion

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Now brothers bud light isn't all that bad (it is around 4%) and can be acceptable to drink if it is on special offer. That way you cna get more of them for the same money as another beer.

AC I think I just lost any respect I had for you. Surely you didn't mean that!
Go to the bar, get some proper beer and man the f^ck up:D

AlmightyCushion

Deleted User wrote:

Go to the bar, get some proper beer and man the f^ck up:D

I don't think beer is strong enough. I'm gonna get me sambuca.

The Bollox

drink some fúckin' Jagermeister, pussy! and don't let me catch you watering down with Red Bull

Zaph

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Now brothers bud light isn't all that bad

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

The Bollox

my brothers. AC has obviously been pussy-whipped by some wimmin. we're going to need some serious re-manifcation here. I suggest he does a beer bong of all alcoholic drinks behind the bar

AlmightyCushion

All right lads let me explain. Over the past few days I have been very drunk (the birthday celebrations and all that), yesterday though I was moderately sober and clearly suffering from withdrawal symptoms and was so desperate for a drink I would go as low as to drink bud light.

I would hope I would never get that desperate for a drink.

AlmightyCushion

The Bollox wrote:

my brothers. AC has obviously been pussy-whipped by some wimmin.

Pussy-whipped? Me? Please the other day I took a piss in CSG's lap, then asked her why she reeked of piss and told her to take a shower. Does that scream pussy-whipped to you?

The Bollox

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Pussy-whipped? Me? Please the other day I took a piss in CSG's lap, then asked her why she reeked of piss and told her to take a shower. Does that scream pussy-whipped to you?

no, but justifying Bud Light does. I repented drinking the shíte and have since started on a rigourous programme of Wife Beater and fry's

r3nu4l

Please Brethern, Brother AC is only confessing to something that we have all done in the past. While we may not necessarily have drunk Bud Light we have all on occassion at some stage failed ourselves and our fellow Brethern in some small way or other.

Why only last week I was partaking of a bottle of cola beverage handed to me by a friend. I was quite enjoying it and even remarked as such only to realise after a few mouthfuls that it was in fact a 'diet' cola beverage. :eek:

Needless to say, said 'friend' is dead to me and his number has been erased from my phone! However it shames me to say that even now I recall the taste of that beverage with pleasure.

Perhaps this is some form of psycho-masochistic torture we are engaging in. A simple course of proper beer therapy will surely help! To the pubmobile!

Blitzkrieger

I think this says it all.