Free Therapy!

simu · 03-09-2007 1:53am #1

OK. The Celtic Tiger, materialism, drugs, drink, spars and centras blah blah blah... these are tough times and we all need support. Why not get some free therapy here on AH?

To the next person who posts: I feel.... that you are feeling feelings... in the past you have felt pain and anger and fear with some happiness... you will feel them again... ok, that/s €50. Cha-ching.

(I learned my skillz at the Deanna Troi school of counselling

)

Agent Smith · 03-09-2007 1:56am

your payments in the post....

bronte · 03-09-2007 1:56am

My neck hurts and my ear hurts...I have two owwies

Dirk Gently · 03-09-2007 1:57am

simu wrote:

(I learned my skillz at the Deanna Troi school of counselling )

I really hate the episodes with her mother in them

simu · 03-09-2007 1:59am

clown bag wrote:

I really hate the episodes with her mother in them

Repressed love turns to hate. I am feeling that you are feeling that.

Dirk Gently · 03-09-2007 2:01am

I think you're feeling a little tipsy tbh.

Zillah · 03-09-2007 2:58am

clown bag wrote:

I really hate the episodes with her mother in them

Her mother was a fantastic character. Clearly you are a crazy person.

Black Swan · 03-09-2007 7:34am

Simu: What about butter therapy? I could use a dose from head to toe right now!

Pighead · 03-09-2007 8:24am

When Pighead was a kid he would get up religiously(ina nonreligious kind of way) every day and head up to the kitchen to get my porridge which Mammy Pighead had lovingly prepared. Porridge was the best thing about getting up in the mornings for school.

Everything was great apart from one thing. Mummys nightdress had a massive tear around the bosom area which exposed one of her frontal glands each and every morning.

At first Pighead would look at the gland with a mixture of fear and revulsion but as the months of adolescence past porridge was no longer the best thing about getting up for school in the morning. Anyway eventually Mummy got a new nightdress and a potentially worrying Oedipus type problem was diverted.

However recently there have been flashbacks galore and one night last week Pighead slept walked into the Scissors and sharp implements room, grabbed a scissors returned to the bed of love and cut a 7 inch tear into Miss Piggy's nightdress. Apparently made my way to the kitchen and picked up a bowl and spoon and started chanting in a mantra type fashion, Porridge, Porridge, Porridge, Porridge.

Was that incident an indication of a boys love for his mothers breasts or a boys love for his mothers porridge? Or most shockingly of all, both.

emeraldstar · 03-09-2007 9:30am

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dyr · 03-09-2007 9:35am

One of my ears makes ringing noises all the time. I dont mind but it distracts the other people in my office

Black Swan · 03-09-2007 9:54am

Turn it from ring to vibrate? Besides, it could be more fun?

Gekko · 04-09-2007 1:11am

did you realise where the milk for your porridge came from, pighead?

monkeyfudge · 04-09-2007 3:33am

I can't stop thinking about monkeys!

AlmightyCushion · 04-09-2007 3:55am

I keep thinking I'm a cushion.

Dirk Gently · 04-09-2007 3:59am

That's nothing, try thinking you're a clowns fashion accessory. At least chicks sit on your face, they just use me once and throw me in corner.

AlmightyCushion · 04-09-2007 4:01am

clown bag wrote:

That's nothing, try thinking you're a clowns fashion accessory. At least chicks sit on your face, they just use me once and throw me in corner.

I suppose it's not all bad. Still wished I had called my self 'the almighty tampon' or 'the almighty dildo' or something.

Free Therapy!

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