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friday night

  • 31-08-2007 11:02pm
    #1
    the raven
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭


    she's there, waiting by her phone, on a friday night, waiting for it to ring, waiting
    for anyone to call. sitting quiet she hums a slow tune, doesn't move for a total
    of ten minutes but eventually shifts an arm toward the mobile phone laying
    violently silent on her bedspread. her dress crinkles across her torso with the
    movement, for no reason she looks up from her phone and into the tall mirror
    standing a few short feet away; she sees a shadow bloom down her chest to
    her navel. the dress is pink but in the shadow a deep crimson seems to
    permeate the fabric. in this moment she sees herself dying - her blood seeping
    from a hidden wound beneath the dress, spreading and the shadow grows.

    as soon as the first droplet drips to the plush carpet, forever staining her
    memory, her phone chimes out a popular ring tone and the image is lost; the
    mirror shows only a girl in a pink dress reaching out for a silent phone. she
    answers and a familiar voice jibes her for being late and asks where the fuk she
    is? for christ's sake it's ten past already?


Comments

  • #2
    the raven
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭the raven


    feel free to comment and criticise...


  • #3
    dj_quinn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭dj_quinn


    A lonely girls sensing her ghost in the mirror, wheighing her chances with regard to her burdonesome existence.


  • #4
    sitout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭sitout


    dont know what to make of it to be honest il come back to it!


  • #5
    busted flush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 722 ✭✭✭busted flush


    i have been critical of alot of what ive read on here . maybe i like to be inspired and set my standards very high, but you have just gone up a notch in my belt with this tragic ghostly non event. yoour up to notch one , my belt has twelve notches!


  • #6
    loismustdie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭loismustdie


    that was lovely, perfect :)


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  • #7
    Accountantmo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Accountantmo


    Thats great.Excellent!
    But I didn't get the whole idea.


  • #8
    shiv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭shiv


    nice little slice, raven.


  • #9
    takola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,138 ✭✭✭takola


    By far the best thing I've read on here in ages! :)


  • #10
    NicholasJackman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭NicholasJackman


    A diet , wanton and without. Hang tough till payday, but rent comes first food second and a friday night out scoring sees no money for a new piece. No link to hand to keep the spirit up. Uncanny how a week or so without the ringing the anticipation and the near butterflies of incoming texts leave an ego running on empty.
    Cant afford a new phone. Tempted to take a little stroll down Sheriff Street to see whats on offer....

    T.B.C


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