Guiness Shíts

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just after havin a typical rock hard Guiness shít. does alybody know why Guiness ****s are always really hard?

The Bollox

because only hard men drink guinnness, and hard men have hard shíts

princess-lala

Taylor Tall Bolt wrote:

just after havin a typical rock hard Guiness shít. does alybody know why Guiness ****s are always really hard?

I dont know where your ****s are coming from because I know both my dad and brother drink Guiness and both always have rather softer ****s the next day!!:D

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The Bollox wrote:

because only hard men drink guinnness, and hard men have hard shíts

good point. never thought of that

*goes back to pumping iron*

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princess-lala wrote:

my dad and brother always have rather softer ****s

you know this how:eek:

mcauley

Taylor Tall Bolt wrote:

you know this how:eek:

You beat me to it!!! LMFAO

The Bollox

yeah he has a point, how the hell do you know that?

princess-lala

I have very good hearing!!

:eek: Ok maybe I shouldnt have answered this at all!!! :eek:

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i think of you google images under 'scat' it might be it:p (safe search off!!)

mcauley

princess-lala wrote:

I have very good hearing!!

*shudder*

Thats the end of that chapter

The Bollox

dear God, of all the reasons you could have given you said "I have good hearing" gaaaah! rotten.com here you come

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princess-lala wrote:

I have very good hearing!!

well im assuming no guy can **** in comfort in that house

mcauley

princess-lala wrote:

I dont know where your ****s are coming from. . .

The same place all our sh1ts come from surely?!

Duggy747

God, nothing beats a good steaming rock hard, black as my heart, shíte on a Sunday morning!! Bliss! Especially during a cold morning when you can physically see the steam rise off it A job well done I normally say!

How can you hear if they're shíts are softer? Is there a more sludgey, watery noise when they hit the bowl?

The Bollox

I suppose she hears the squelchy farts bubbling through the muck

princess-lala

How can you hear if they're shíts are softer? Is there a more sludgey, watery noise when they hit the bowl?[/QUOTE]


Thats the one!!:D

Its not like I stand outside the bathroom door listening!!!

mcauley

Jesus put down the shovel!!!!!!!!!!

Duggy747

At first I got an image off Princess-Lala down at the sewer pipe outside her house inspecting the families float-aways.

Princess-Lala: "Hmm, good texture, nice consistency though it could be thicker. Colour is a bit light too. I'll tell my brother to eat it and do it again, but better!!"

princess-lala

Duggy747 wrote:

At first I got an image off Princess-Lala down at the sewer pipe outside her house inspecting the families float-aways.

Princess-Lala: "Hmm, good texture, nice consistency though it could be thicker. Colour is a bit light too. I'll tell my brother to eat it and do it again, but better!!"

Thats just dirty!!!
Im going to buy myself some eas plugs now to wear around the house!!!:eek:

The Bollox

Duggy747 wrote:

At first I got an image off Princess-Lala down at the sewer pipe outside her house inspecting the families float-aways.

Princess-Lala: "Hmm, good texture, nice consistency though it could be thicker. Colour is a bit light too. I'll tell my brother to eat it and do it again, but better!!"

damn you Duggy, I just laughed out loud in t'office

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Duggy747 wrote:

God, nothing beats a good steaming rock hard, black as my heart, shíte on a Sunday morning!! Bliss! Especially during a cold morning when you can physically see the steam rise off it A job well done I normally say!

i got a shock the firat time i seen my poo after my first guiness pint, i thought i got too drunk and that black guy that kept looking at me must have drugged me , and taken me outside. he must have beaten be up and taken advantage, and i was just after misscarrying his child..............wait,............ what did i just say?
dam CSI!!

golden gal

Ok I'm a girl so this is not one of my finer posts but it was one of my brothers favourite jokes; "What has Lidl toilet paper and a bad pint of Guinness got in common?.............................................................................................................................................................................................

The both tear the arse off you!!!"

ansionnachclist

HAHAH good one .

jester77

Taylor Tall Bolt wrote:

i got a shock the firat time i seen my poo after my first guiness pint, i thought i got too drunk and that black guy that kept looking at me must have drugged me , and taken me outside. he must have beaten be up and taken advantage, and i was just after misscarrying his child..............wait,............ what did i just say?
dam CSI!!

It's Guinness.... it's written on the friggin pint glass in front of you :eek: lol ...

They may be black but they do squeeze out nice and gently!

Duggy747

And leave no mess too Teflon shíts I believe they are refered to.

Blitzkrieger

Forget Guinness ****s - I was in Amsterdam there a while back and had a few space cakes. I've never taken so many huge dumps in one day as I did the day after. I was leaving clogged toilets behind me all over Amsterdam. I was only there for a weekend but the locals had already started whispering an urban legend about a big chupacabra type creature leaving massive piles of crap around the city.





Didn't really leave any clogged toilets behind me - those things could swallow a turkey. Good thing too......

arybvtcw0eolkf

Taylor Tall Bolt wrote:

just after havin a typical rock hard Guiness shít. does alybody know why Guiness ****s are always really hard?

Because it has a higher iron content than the other beer's, and iron can make you constipated and harden your stooles.

FlutterinBantam

Sorry boys ,my experience is not as most of you describe.

I was in Padraig Pearses there in Pearse St. the week before last and had quite a few pints of the black stuff.
Now I will admit to a rare steak an onions plus the trimmings a few hours previously but got a push on on PPs and lined up the brown freckle on the pan.

After the initial "pace car" she exploded in a shower of shíte which blanketed the commode and surroundings in ripe scutter.

Very embarrassed!!! did my best to clean up but she did not look well on "doors close"

Fratton Fred

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Sorry boys ,my experience is not as most of you describe.

I was in Padraig Pearses there in Pearse St. the week before last and had quite a few pints of the black stuff.
Now I will admit to a rare steak an onions plus the trimmings a few hours previously but got a push on on PPs and lined up the brown freckle on the pan.

After the initial "pace car" she exploded in a shower of shíte which blanketed the commode and surroundings in ripe scutter.

Very embarrassed!!! did my best to clean up but she did not look well on "doors close"

this used to be my experience every time I drank guinness, now it is just the normal black regulation dump as previously described.

Does this mean I am slowly turning Irish and that I too will soon be moaning about what a **** manager Staunton is?

Just asking like:)

FlutterinBantam

Normal black regulation dump-that has a ring to it!!

Army man are you??

Seriously though,would appear your system is adjusting to the intake of Guinness.

I hadn't taken the stuff for quite some time so hence the scorched earth effect.

Normally I would pass a nice shiny black/green bolus which would hit the pan like an otter from a bank,and slide away with barely a ripple.

Jesus Wept

princess-lala wrote:

I dont know where your ****s are coming from because I know both my dad and brother drink Guiness and both always have rather softer ****s the next day!!:D

I read that post a few days ago, but didn't really note who had made it.

I will never look at you the same way Princess La La!