A reason to thank Global Warming

Tom Dunne

I have been taken aback by the amount of comments on my beer gut of late from friends and family. There is no doubt, over the past 3-4 months, it has increased in proportion to the extent that I may have to go up a waist size in my trousers.

A momentous occasion, I am sure you will agree.

And what is the secret of my success, I hear you ask? Well, I can exclusively reveal the source of my newfound ample girth is in fact Global Warming.

You see in previous summers, myself and Mrs. Dunne used to sit out the back garden, on the patio, indulging in the occasional bottle of plonk. This summer, as we all know, did not permit such girly endeavors, so I have had to make do with a couple of beers on a Friday night on the couch. And of course the combination of beers and a wide variety of snacks has helped create this sight to behold sitting between me and my manhood.

So, brethren, when those tree-hugging, sandal-wearing, dope-smoking hippies rant on about global warming, you now have even more reason to dismiss them.

J.S. Pill

tom dunne wrote:

There is no doubt, over the past 3-4 months, it has increased in proportion to the extent that I may have to go up a waist size in my trousers.

A momentous occasion, I am sure you will agree.

Congrats Brother Tom!!!

Keep up the good work Brother.

Jesus Wept

you had me at 'beer gut'

AlmightyCushion

tom dunne wrote:

So, brethren, when those tree-hugging, sandal-wearing, dope-smoking hippies rant on about global warming, you now have even more reason to dismiss them.

I usually just inform them of how little I value their life and how I feel law doesn't apply to me. Then while faking a nervous twitch I invite them in for tea. They always decline.

jester77

I also have global warming to thank but for the opposite reason. The weather has been good here, but that hasn't stopped the expansion. There has been plenty of stags, weddings, summer parties and BBQ's to help me out along with the regular beer garden and beach parties! Plus with the RWC approaching I see no let up

The Bollox

I too have seen my beer gut grow from something only slightly rotund to something any man should be proud of. I also thank Global warming for this as over past summers I would take many walks, this summer t'was impossible with all the rain so I took the easier option of watching films, drinking wife beater and eating many many heavily salted foods

Jesus Wept

The Bollox wrote:

I too have seen my beer gut grow from something only slightly rotund to something any man should be proud of. I also thank Global warming for this as over past summers I would take many walks, this summer t'was impossible with all the rain so I took the easier option of watching films, drinking wife beater and eating many many heavily salted foods

your ideas intrique me, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Slow Motion

tom dunne wrote:

Well, I can exclusively reveal the source of my newfound ample girth is in fact Global Warming.

A "Convenient Truth" brother, I applaud you !

Wagon

Fair play.

It has been proven that the more rubenesk among us are better at floating in water. So when those poxy ice caps melt fully and the world is flodded over, who will the friends and family cling to in an attempt to stay afloat?

They will appreciate this achivement in time

Wagon

Here:
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055063281

Put them in their box.

Zaph

Congratulations Brother Tom. It seems that every cloud does indeed have a silver lining.

Big Tone

If Tom can't do it, it can't be Dunne