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dont start a sentance with and or but

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  • 29-08-2007 10:03am
    #1
    sitout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭


    His blood makes me boil.
    And for all of my toil, i remain the same.
    My skin makes him crawl
    are we both small?
    someday soon, one will fall.

    It should not be like this.
    we should go on the piss!

    I am dead inside
    i have cried and cried
    There is no more time to bide!
    And so it goes on, and on and on
    but just for how long,but just for how long!

    it should not be like this.
    we should go on the piss!


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    #2
    the raven
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭the raven


    His blood makes me boil.
    And for all of my toil, i remain the same.
    My skin makes him crawl
    are we both small?
    someday soon, one will fall.

    It should not be like this.
    we should go on the piss!

    I am dead inside
    i have cried and cried
    There is no more time to bide!
    And so it goes on, and on and on
    but just for how long,but just for how long!

    it should not be like this.
    we should go on the piss!

    can i ask if this is a serious poem? like, in the sense of, have you posted it with the intent to instigate a critical response, to show it off, or just to mock poetry?


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    #3
    sitout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 423 ✭✭sitout


    the raven wrote:
    just to mock poetry?

    !


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    #4
    busted flush
    Closed Accounts Posts: 722 ✭✭✭busted flush


    i actually liked this one. first tome for everything!


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