Dating what to do

wexford12

Will try to make this quick,was out on Saturday night and ended up meeting one of my neighbors while i was out.She had plenty of drinks in her i wasnt drinking so i offered a lift home.I met her later that night to bring her home"we are both single and live alone etc"
When we got back she said she would have a coffee "great i tought".We had coffee and long chat and to me a lot of flirting went on between us,but i never made a move.I didnt want it to be oh god what have i done for her the next morning.I texted her yesterday asking how she was etc but no reply she does know my number as we have texted a few times before.
Any ideas what happened was it she saying well he didnt make a move so move on or maybe she put out that i didnt make a move,or just god knows lol.Iv been away from this dating for many years as i was in a long term relationship did i feck it up ????

randylonghorn

Or maybe she was hungover, and forgot to answer?
Or out of credit?
Or a bit embarrassed if she was drunk?
Or just not sure what she feels, and wants a bit of time to think?

Could be lots of things really, probably best not to jump to any conclusions at the moment, if she's a neighbour you're bound to bump into her before long and you can judge better by her reactions then.

SarahSassy

You will bump into her again? Were you maybe givng her vibes that you were not interested? Maybe cos she had a few drinks on her she didnt want to read too much into it.

Why not call her and ask her over to your house for a glass of wine...?

Firetrap

You didn't necessarily fekk it up...you say ye flirted. If she's keen on you she's not going to deliberately ignore you just because you didn't pounce on her when she was drunk.

wexford12

Hi thanks guys for the advice,she gave me a text last night to say she was busy with family over and would talk soon.Time will tell from here i guess,was i wrong in not making a move i really tought it would be better when she was not drunk as she lives a few doors away i didnt want her to regret it next morning.

someothername

dont think you were wrong not to make a move - see how she behaves around u next time ( with no alcohol ) and you will hae a better idea if you should go for it or not

Poco Loco

wexford12 wrote:

Hi thanks guys for the advice,she gave me a text last night to say she was busy with family over and would talk soon.Time will tell from here i guess,was i wrong in not making a move i really tought it would be better when she was not drunk as she lives a few doors away i didnt want her to regret it next morning.

I don't think you were wrong not to make a move - in fact I think it was a good thing to do, esp if she was drunk and you were sober. There's nothing worse than the feeling that you were taken advantage of. Even if she would have been willing as a sober person, the fact that she was drunk would make her think 'hmmm did that just happen cause I was drunk, was he taking advantage?' so well done on that, I think! There's no mad rush on it, take your time, and like you say yourself - time will tell how it works out. Don't base all your worries on one night. Take it for what it was - an unexpected encounter that was nice and, for the most part, innocent. Ye clearly got on well so it's all positive. Well that's what I think anyway!

scoobydoo2

wexford12 wrote:

Will try to make this quick,was out on Saturday night and ended up meeting one of my neighbors while i was out.She had plenty of drinks in her i wasnt drinking so i offered a lift home.I met her later that night to bring her home"we are both single and live alone etc"
When we got back she said she would have a coffee "great i tought".We had coffee and long chat and to me a lot of flirting went on between us,but i never made a move.I didnt want it to be oh god what have i done for her the next morning.I texted her yesterday asking how she was etc but no reply she does know my number as we have texted a few times before.
Any ideas what happened was it she saying well he didnt make a move so move on or maybe she put out that i didnt make a move,or just god knows lol.Iv been away from this dating for many years as i was in a long term relationship did i feck it up ????

I would not worry too much about it, women in general are here to wreck our heads, and maby she is just playing hard to get. Give a little chase and see if that is what she wants, you have nothing to loose and more to gain. Go for it......

missmatty

Playing hard to get? She flirted didn't she?

I would be morto to come on to someone when i was drunk and they were sober, I reckon that's why she didn't make any move. But it sounds promising for the future, invite her over for dinner/drinks sometime and then you'll know for sure.

Beruthiel

wexford12 wrote:

.I texted her yesterday asking how she was etc but no reply she does know my number as we have texted a few times before.
Any ideas what happened was it she saying well he didnt make a move so move on or maybe she put out that i didnt make a move,or just god knows lol.Iv been away from this dating for many years as i was in a long term relationship did i feck it up ????

You know, you wouldn't have needed to even post this thread here if you'd phoned her instead of texting.
Call her up on the phone and ask her out. Either way, you'll have your answer.
It really is that simple.

wexford12

Beruthiel wrote:

You know, you wouldn't have needed to even post this thread here if you'd phoned her instead of texting.
Call her up on the phone and ask her out. Either way, you'll have your answer.
It really is that simple.

I texted so not to put her on the spot on the phone,we have had a coffee a few times mostly in her house after meeting her outside talking one of us would say want a cuppa.I did think before there might be something between us but living couple doors away dont want any bad feelings between us if i make the wrong move.

WellyJ

wexford12 wrote:

I texted so not to put her on the spot on the phone,we have had a coffee a few times mostly in her house after meeting her outside talking one of us would say want a cuppa.I did think before there might be something between us but living couple doors away dont want any bad feelings between us if i make the wrong move.

You need to drop the stigma about how bad things will be if she turns you down.

It is completely acceptable for you to ask her out or "make a move"

If she is not interested she will say no, and then you can both start to get over it and move on with your lives. :rolleyes:

But seriously, nothing bad can come of it. You will feel better for having taken the chance then you do right now.

Even if she had refused, and by the sounds of it she probably wont, well **** it. Maybe you don't marry this one.

And seeing her won't be this awful thing, things will be the same between you.

SarahSassy

Beruthiel wrote:

You know, you wouldn't have needed to even post this thread here if you'd phoned her instead of texting.
Call her up on the phone and ask her out. Either way, you'll have your answer.
It really is that simple.

Thats sounds so patronising..... I assume you are in a long term relationship.... Its not that easy for everyone....

OP, its all positive. She replied so ask her in for tea / drinks sometime and see what happens...

dudara

SarahSassy wrote:

Thats sounds so patronising..... I assume you are in a long term relationship.... Its not that easy for everyone....

I'd have to disagree with you here SarahSassy and say that people should be a little more proactive in getting what they want and start picking up those phones. Texting makes it a little impersonal. Picking up the phone and calling signals clear intent. And it's nice to get a call from someone who is asking you out. Very flattering.*

*that's how my partner of 8 years and I got started.

SarahSassy wrote:

OP, its all positive. She replied so ask her in for tea / drinks sometime and see what happens...

This is true. Small steps maybe with this girl

wexford12

Ok an update i was invited over the other night for coffee,we had a few drinks and stayed till very early hours of the morning talking.I asked her out Friday night to something that we both had an intrest in said she would "great its a date" me thinks!.When i was leaving she said she would let me know if she could get a baby sitter.So i texted today to see was all still ok for Friday before i got tickets and got a text back saying "afraid not i have to work sat sorry".So should i walk away at this stage and forget about it.

Marksie

Did you leave it at that OP???

Did you ring her at all?

SarahSassy

Did she invite you over or how did it end up happening?

wexford12

I just texted back to say ok no problem its ok leave it in her hands not push it

SarahSassy

Ok, well maybe she is nervous about getting involved when there is a kid involved which is understandable....

Maybe you should give it one last shot in the next couple of weeks. Did she invite you over that night or did you contact her and then she invited you?

Spades

Are you sure about all this, if things progress and go bad at a later stage it might be tricky being living so close to each other.

BaZmO*

dudara wrote:

I'd have to disagree with you here SarahSassy and say that people should be a little more proactive in getting what they want and start picking up those phones. Texting makes it a little impersonal. Picking up the phone and calling signals clear intent. And it's nice to get a call from someone who is asking you out. Very flattering.*

*that's how my partner of 8 years and I got started.

That's like your Grandad telling you to write her a love letter because that's how he bagged Grandma.

Things have changed since the last Millenium!!!

wexford12

SarahSassy wrote:

Ok, well maybe she is nervous about getting involved when there is a kid involved which is understandable....

Maybe you should give it one last shot in the next couple of weeks. Did she invite you over that night or did you contact her and then she invited you?

I contacted her and she asked me over for a coffee.To be honest at this stage i think i will just give up not worth the hassle too many come on then turn off vibes.I dont know if its a game of hard to get or just playing with me.

wexford12

Next up date lol was just thinking what the hell am i doing its ten too two in the morning and im thinking about this.One min flirting like hell next cold as ice can women be this crewl do they get a kick out of it.To be honest i feel such a fool now that i even wrote about this but im sure i gave a few a laugh at me.

b3t4

One min flirting like hell next cold as ice can women be this crewl do they get a kick out of it.

Why on earth don't you call her on this? If a mate of yours was humming and hawing about something would you be fine about that or would you put a direct question to them asking them what the story was.

Clear the air and find out what's going on. Stop with the trying to be pyschic business.

A.

Gobán Saor

OK, you ask a girl out and she makes an excuse. We have two basic possibilities here:

One: she really wanted to go out with you but couldn't for genuine practical reasons

Two: she doesn't want to go out with you and "made an excuse" to spare your feelings / give you a way out / avoid an awkward moment, whatever.

If it was the first possibility, then she would be absolutely sure to rearrange for a more suitable date and time. She hasn't. You know where you are. She doesn't want to go out with you.

(There is a third possibility - she's playing games with you - in which case drop her like a stone - it'll just mess your head up:rolleyes: )

Star Lord

Working Saturday morning is a perfectly legitimate reason for not goin out on the proposed date...

... so propose another "when it suits her", and you'll see from that.

wexford12

Hi guys

Little update texted a couple times since but seems a bit cold met her outside and she was in a hurry so i guess thats that lol.I think i will ask her again would she like to go out some time when suits her least i will then know.