One mostly for the boys maybe?

Niamho!

(I dont think this qualifies for PI...maybe im wrong feel free to move if needed)

So heres the thing.... in Eamon Dorans last night and there was this really cute bloke. just kept staring at him i was like some kinda stalker...

Anyway, I was REALLY tempted (as i regularly am) to just go up and chance my arm and talk to him....why should blokes do all the chatting up and all that....but My question is, I never know what to say, thats what puts me off.
i'm a really straightforward kinda person. my mate (A bloke) was telling me to go up and pretend to think he's someone else but i think that's really obvious and stupid, so in my straightforward way i'd rather just ask him straight out is he single and how old is he. is that WAY too forward? would you be put off by that? (seems like the best approach to me when im drunk! ha!)

I'm often told that a bloke is pretty much not gonna turn you down unless they just does not find you attractive....is that true? would you be impressed with a girl chatting you up?? and i dont mean to come across as really big headed or anything but im not a bad lookin girl. i dont think. woiuld you be chuffed and go for it?

Tak3n

ur crazy... he wouldn't turn you down unless he was strongly repulsed by your appearance.

basically... fat girls don't have a chance on chatting guys up and anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves its the simple fact that a lard ass and hamster cheeks aren't a turn on

Niamho!

right cool....but was my planned approach too forward? lol. god i pity blokes i really do....how do you do it?? i'm never a complete bitch to a bloke chattin to me whether im interested or not but ive seen the Awful reactions girls can give. MAybe thats my problem i feel like they're gonna be really mean. lol.

aidan_dunne

Tak3n wrote:

.....a lard ass and hamster cheeks aren't a turn on

Oh, I beg to differ, my friend!

Seriously though, Niamho, I'd be well impressed if a girl came up to me to chat me up...... especially seeing as I'm such an ugly f**ker! You're right, why should guys have to do the work all the time? Nothing wrong with a girl taking the first step, in fact, I think it would be a welcome change. So many women out there still to this day who are all fluttering eyelashes and saucy glances but would still sit there all night waiting for a fella to make the first move. If you like the look of a fella, get up off your hole and go over and do something about it, FFS, that's what I say!

At least you have the decency to be nice in your approach, Niamho, and just ask him if he's single and his age. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I've seen girls get chatting to a guy and, straight away, she asks him what his job is, how much he earns and what kind of car he drives. If the bloke doesn't meet the grade, they just walk away. :eek: Seriously, I'm not kidding, I have seen this many times and it seems to be becoming a more common thing as well.* Is this what Celtic Tiger Ireland has really become?







*awaits the inevitable deluge of "how dare you generalise Irish women saying all they're interested in are guys with money and nice cars!" :rolleyes: I'm not generalising, most women are perfectly normal and don't act like that, but there is no denying what I and friends of mine have witnessed first hand and continue to see on an ever increasing basis.

Terry

Niamho! wrote:

right cool....but was my planned approach too forward? lol. god i pity blokes i really do....how do you do it?? i'm never a complete bitch to a bloke chattin to me whether im interested or not but ive seen the Awful reactions girls can give. MAybe thats my problem i feel like they're gonna be really mean. lol.

Most men will never tell a woman to piss off.
The best approach is to just go up and ask his name. Continue from there.
If you ask him if he's single, he will instantly think 'Nice one. I'm getting my hole tonight', whether he is single or not.

As for the women who are bitchy towards men who dare to speak to them. They usually end up alone, raising the child of some sleazy guy who they deemed good enough for them.

dmc27

god i know what you mean .. i would love if a girl just came up said hello and said where ya from .. that normal kicks starts things for me !

aidan_dunne

dmc27 wrote:

.....i would love if a girl just came up said hello and said where ya from

Feck that, I'd be happy if a girl came up to me and said, "get outta me way, ya ugly c*nt, you're blocking me way to the toilet", or something like that. I'd be thinking to meself, "Jaysus, she actually talked to me, I might be in with a chance here if I play me cards right!"

I'm not a fussy bloke, am I?

The Bollox

Terry wrote:

If you ask him if he's single, he will instantly think 'Nice one. I'm getting my hole tonight', whether he is single or not.

QFT!

Kali

So heres the thing.... in Eamon Dorans last night and there was this really cute bloke

You there to see a band? Easy to start chatting so.. "whatcha think of them?" "who you here to see?" etc. Go for it!
To be honest though if you're looking at him all night and he doesn't come over and say hello then he's either extremely nervous or just thick not to notice in the first place.

Caliden

I would probably spark a conversation with a girl if she came up and simply complimented me on an item of clothing or tell me I had nice eyes.
If the guy didn't pick up on that then he's an idiot.

Roonels

well the whole asking age and single thing might be a bit intimidating. but any fella would be delighted if a girl struck up conversation...id be well chuffed!:o honestly if you like a guy...then 9 times out of ten...he could be yours! seeing as we dont get chatted up...we dont know how to say no!(the harsh truth!):rolleyes:

Niamho!

Cheers for the replies. yeah i know what ya mean about thinkin he's onto a winner for the night. Haha.

i wasn't giving him the eyes. he was kinda a good bit away near the bar with his mates. he didnt see me checking him out like. I was gonna go up to him when he was watin to get served at the bar but he was always with at least one of his mates and that is just a put-off. GOD!! isaid it before but i really do pity you's blokes.... maybe i just think about things too much. one of these days i'm just gonna do it. such a Chicken!! lol.

Dub_girl_101

Ha this is bril! Best thread in ages!

Question tho...do lads get turned off if your friend goes up lyk on ur behalf or is the point of this just go up yourself!

LovelyTom

Best bet would be to go right up to him and ask if you'd met him somewhere before, and get the ball rolling a bit then ask your questions... he would be more likely to concider it in my opinion.

Ciaran500

Dub_girl_101 wrote:

Question tho...do lads get turned off if your friend goes up lyk on ur behalf or is the point of this just go up yourself!

Turned off? No, but we would much prefer if you would just come up yourself. Also its a bit hard to tell if they are actually being serious when they are asking for a friend.

Niamho!

LovelyTom wrote:

Best bet would be to go right up to him and ask if you'd met him somewhere before, and get the ball rolling a bit then ask your questions... he would be more likely to concider it in my opinion.

See...thats kinda like what my mate was saying but i just dont know. i think that seems real cheesy or something. like if a bloke used that on me i'd prob think "Oh please..try the other one..." hehe. although i suppose i'd still talk back... life is so hard. I think about things too much thats all it is. I'l be sure to come back and make a new thread if i ever do actually pluck up the courage. hopefully it'll be a positive thread.

slipss

Niamho! wrote:

i'd rather just ask him straight out is he single and how old is he. is that WAY too forward? would you be put off by that?

Just to echo Terry's sentiments, yes that is a tad too forward and no he wouldn't be put off by it, he'd think "a slapper, jackpot!", thats just how we think. If you are planning on going home with the fella that night or your just really interested in sex, its a good way to go about things, if you aren't planning on giving him some action he might wright you off as a cockteaser. Just to be clear i'm not saying just going up to him and chatting him up is a bad idea, most guys would be flattered I'm sure and would appreciate the effort. Just maybe the first two questions out of your mouth shouldn't be "how old are ya" "are you single" because to alot of guys, particuarly if they have a few beers on them, will hear "I'm gagging for it" "wanna fukk". Just my opinion.

The Bollox

Niamho! wrote:

he was always with at least one of his mates and that is just a put-off. GOD!! isaid it before but i really do pity you's blokes....

don't start! it's you wimmin, hunting in packs that makes the average joe sweat-sock terrified of approaching. with your giggling and judging and stuff...

_Kaiser_

First off, fair play to ya Niamho for wanting to take the initiative and ask him first. You're right, it's NOT always easy for guys to approach girls (especially in a pub/club enviornment), even moreso if they're with a group of their friends (as you have an "instant jury" right there too!)

Speaking for myself, if a girl came up to me and struck up a conversation she'd already be ahead of the game for taking the chance. While looks aren't everything of course, there has to be SOME level of attraction, and as long as she wasn't grossly overweight/ugly I'd at least have a chat with her (naturally the ability to hold a conversation helps too).

As for the idea that a guy will instantly think "cool, I'm getting laid tonight!" if a girl takes the initiative, while it's certainly true there are a LOT of guys out there like that (especially in the pub/club setting), we're not ALL that bad - personally I perfer to know and like the women I sleep with!

Finally, Dub_girl, don't send your mate over. I'm not sure how old you are, but to me it'd strike me as very immature.. something you do when you're in your early teens. If you like the guy, tell him yourself!

There should be more women like ye in my opinion!

Victor

You could just sidle up to him and comment on the gig.

I did decline the advances of a young 'lady' in the Nitelink bus queue that wanted to drag me to Tallaght though.

Zapp Brannigan

That was you!? You should've said "hi"

ansionnachclist

Would love a girl to come up to me and ask me to dance or whatever.

I usually have to approach her.

Was in Tramco last night. Myself and a mate got some courage to go over and talk to 2 girls. They were stuck up their own ass. Its really annoying seeing girls like that. I Wouldn't mind, but they weren't really good looking.

Basically Niamho, guys generally won't say no because believe it or not, for most guys it takes alot of balls to go and ask a girl her name etc. Its a very hard thing to do. For those who don't find it hard... fair play .

Next time you see a guy you like Niamho, go for it. What have you got to lose? The guys probably somewhat tipsy and IF he does say no, the chances are you won't see him again. And on the brightside, this will give you more confidence in yourself knowing that you took the first step and won't hesitate to do it again.

Niamho!

Hahaha. the eyes i was giving you weren't doing the Trick Zapp....you really gave me no encouragement. you're dumped.

And i hate to disappoint but it wasn't me. i was on the 2.00 77 ****elink and there was not many people on it ...it was definitely Eamon Dorans. hehe

I thought Tramco was full of Stuck up Girls no? thats ****. ive seen it myself, hada alot of friends who would never give a bloke the time of day. i used to secretly wish the bloke would say something really mean or pour his drink over them.

Fizman

Niamho! wrote:

Anyway, I was REALLY tempted (as i regularly am) to just go up and chance my arm and talk to him....why should blokes do all the chatting up and all that....but My question is, I never know what to say, thats what puts me off.

I'm often told that a bloke is pretty much not gonna turn you down unless they just does not find you attractive....is that true? would you be impressed with a girl chatting you up?? and i dont mean to come across as really big headed or anything but im not a bad lookin girl. i dont think. woiuld you be chuffed and go for it?

I say just go for it Niamho. 3 weeks ago i was in a club with some mates and some of their girlfriends, in a kind of a circle, when i get a tip on the shoulder. I turn around and this absolute stunner is standing there smiling! She beckoned me away from the group and her line went pretty much like "You look like you need to go for a stroll around the club" to which i responded "Indeed i do" .
We strolled for about 30 feet, she then says her feet are sore (classic ) and asked if id sit down with her. We get chattin for 30 mins or so, really hit it off, and ive been seeing her since.

Her line was hilarious at the time because it was just so random, plus i got to look like a legend in front of a big group of mates (we were spottin her in a pub an hour earlier).

Seriously tho, a lot of my mates are currently in relationships where the girl made the first move (prob cos they didnt have the balls to - but thats beside the point ).
Go for it, its the random lines that break the ice that work for me anyway, and if you get looked at as if your a weirdo, then just walk off, he obviously doesnt have a sense of humour so you've saved yourself from that!

kowloon

I was approached by an absolute stunner a good while back, and a combination of it being unusual and the effects of drink and a smattering of herbally induced paranoia caused me to assume she was taking the pi55.
Is this relevant to the post? I dont know.....but i'll always remember the slag that got away

ansionnachclist

Niamho! wrote:

I thought Tramco was full of Stuck up Girls no? thats ****.

I know that now :P. I just went cos I heard the girls were easy there. But turns out on a Wednesday night only. >:-|. Well I know where I'm going on Wednesday.

I'll be the coolest dancer there, if you decide to go :P.

SimpleSam06

Dub_girl_101 wrote:

Question tho...do lads get turned off if your friend goes up lyk on ur behalf or is the point of this just go up yourself!

I can see Vinnie Jones in Lock, stock and two smoking barrels going up to Sting in the bar:
"She likes your genes."

O_o


"She wants your genes."

jester77

Bit cheesy but not too forward. I had a girl walk up to me once and grab me by the balls before she said anything, now that's what I would call forward. Why not take a similar approach that guys take on you and just reverse it!

Niamho!

Fizman wrote:

I say just go for it Niamho. 3 weeks ago i was in a club with some mates and some of their girlfriends, in a kind of a circle, when i get a tip on the shoulder. I turn around and this absolute stunner is standing there smiling! She beckoned me away from the group and her line went pretty much like "You look like you need to go for a stroll around the club" to which i responded "Indeed i do" .
We strolled for about 30 feet, she then says her feet are sore (classic ) and asked if id sit down with her. We get chattin for 30 mins or so, really hit it off, and ive been seeing her since.

Her line was hilarious at the time because it was just so random, plus i got to look like a legend in front of a big group of mates (we were spottin her in a pub an hour earlier).

Seriously tho, a lot of my mates are currently in relationships where the girl made the first move (prob cos they didnt have the balls to - but thats beside the point ).
Go for it, its the random lines that break the ice that work for me anyway, and if you get looked at as if your a weirdo, then just walk off, he obviously doesnt have a sense of humour so you've saved yourself from that!

Couldnt do that. not a chance in a big group. Especially if there were girls there too. thats worse.

Creamy Goodness

i would consider it a little strange, but then it would depend on the hotness of you as to how i'd play it after that.

very hot - is there alternative motive here?
hot - mmmhh maybe maybe not.
not so hot - fair play like.

cormie

It all depends on their approach really, I had a girl come up to me and simply say "my friend wants to know if you'll have a one night stand with her", her friend was hot but I declined and they weren't too pleased and they seemed to get awkward after that:p

Another girl approached me and was friendly and chatty and nothing forward at all, yet still slight flirtatious actions, she was absolutely beautiful, we ended up going out for a good while.

Another time I was in a music bar and I was standing chatting to friends and giving eye contact to another girl who was quite older than me, she was only with one friend and we were standing close enough and her friend tapped me on the shoulder and just says "excuse me, have you met my friend ***** yet?" which was a pretty good way, in which we ended up being introduced and chatting etc.

Then just the other day at a market I was waiting for my friend at a braiding stall and a bella Italian girl came along and was having a look, I was leaning against some railings and we caught eyes and smiled at eachother and then she was still looking at the stall and then just came and sat down right beside me so I hunkered down and starting talking to her, my friend finished getting braided and went off for food so I just waited for her and then I left with her like it was her I was waiting on all along! ahww

I hate being approached by girls who are too forward who I just don't find attractive though, it's just soo awkward! If they are just approaching and are friendly and chatty then that's fine, at least I have time to show them I'm not attracted but still interested in talking but then again, one time I was talking to a girl I had no attraction to and then as we were leaving the place she held my hand so loosening the grip on that was pretty awkward and then that was that.

So different results for different approaches, I advise multiple eye contact first to see if there is a mutual interest, approach or be introduced to by your willing friend (much better than hi my friend likes you) and talk and see if he gives signs of attraction and then take it from there!

Rob_l

Dub_girl_101 wrote:

Ha this is bril! Best thread in ages!

Question tho...do lads get turned off if your friend goes up lyk on ur behalf or is the point of this just go up yourself!

if your mate goesup on your behalf:eek: :eek:

Thast so school disco like


Will ya meet me mate?

layke

A girls chatting a bloke up is unheard of in Ireland tbh it's a welcome change to just getting 'the eyes' and not knowing if she actually wants you to chat her up or not.

In all my years i've had 1 girl do this (and i'm all adonis like) and, being nice, she wasn't the nicest.

Cake Fiend

Niamho! wrote:

I'm often told that a bloke is pretty much not gonna turn you down unless they just does not find you attractive....is that true?

Correct. If he was checking you out, then you could pretty much go up to him and say HI, I LIKE CHIPS, DO YOU LIKE CHIPS? and you'd still be in there. Seriously, we're simple enough creatures.

layke wrote:

A girls chatting a bloke up is unheard of in Ireland

I've been chatted up by plenty of eastern European girls. You know, the ones that don't have the Irish hangups and self-loathing!

Sofaspud

Cake Fiend wrote:

HI, I LIKE CHIPS, DO YOU LIKE CHIPS?

That line would be such a turn-on!

Dub_girl_101

Another time I was in a music bar and I was standing chatting to friends and giving eye contact to another girl who was quite older than me, she was only with one friend and we were standing close enough and her friend tapped me on the shoulder and just says "excuse me, have you met my friend ***** yet?" which was a pretty good way, in which we ended up being introduced and chatting etc.

So different results for different approaches, I advise multiple eye contact first to see if there is a mutual interest, approach or be introduced to by your willing friend (much better than hi my friend likes you) and talk and see if he gives signs of attraction and then take it from there![/QUOTE]

Thats what I meant by ur friend going up...not 14 yr old girls style!

layke

Cake Fiend wrote:

I've been chatted up by plenty of eastern European girls. You know, the ones that don't have the Irish hangups and self-loathing!

Dude. We should hang out.

Newaglish

Just wait till he goes for a drink, sidle in beside him at the bar, there's your opening. You can start talking to him about anything, how good/bad the music is, how everyone is really old/young in the club, where he's from, what he does, how it takes forever to get served in the bar, tell him you like his clothes, once you've covered the first ice-breaker just move on to "I'm Niamho by the way. (Pause for his name). Nice to meet you Mr. X, where are you from?" and you're away.

fakearms123

Unfortunately there is a thin line in the mind of lads between flattery and the notion that your getting a sloppy BJ from some slut when they are approached by a girl, and adding drink to the mix is only going to heighten a lads eagerness to intercourse, i know its a bold statement but its true. Im in a relationship but all my mates are single, well i've made the observation that lads seem to bottle all their chatting up until they reach a nightclub and thats where every little hormone is released. My friend was in o'briens sandwich and he had an open change of talking with a hot girl, but he turned around to me and said, its grand we're going to a nightclub tonight full of women. I couldnt understand, have I been out of the game too long or is every location not grounds for talking to women.
Well my current girlfriend of almost 2 years made the first move when we were out one night, we were friends for 2 years before hooking up, i hadnt seen her for months before that night, the only reason i didnt make the first move is because she was my mate's ex and i wasnt sure what the rules were if she was out of bounds or not, well we were getting on really well that night, she was concentrating all her conversation on me and hugging me a lot, i found it flattering and we were with each other.
But being chatted up by completely random girls has only happened a few times and its pretty rare, i have been chatted up from friends of friends that i was introduced to, thats probably more common, so in summary if your chatting up a guy randomly just keep in mind what he is most likely thinking, dont give him any ideas cause he'll probably go for a mind ****.

Duggy747

layke wrote:

In all my years i've had 1 girl do this (and i'm all adonis like) and, being nice, she wasn't the nicest.

Oh, I've been down that road too with one girl who asked me out earlier this year. Although quite recently a quite nice-looking girl came up to me in the nite-club with the strangest conversation starter. I was standing on my own drinking, just watching the dancefloor when next thing she came up to me and said: "Where you at the Metallica concert?" I mentally freaked cuz I was and I thought maybe I done something to someone at it and she saw it or was the victim or something like that (You know how it can be when you have had drink in ya )

Anywho we just got chatting from there and now we meet up on the weekends, not bad! Now I can say I got the girl as a result of Metallica, YEEEEERRRR!!

Niamho!

Duggy747 wrote:

Oh, I've been down that road too with one girl who asked me out earlier this year. Although quite recently a quite nice-looking girl came up to me in the nite-club with the strangest conversation starter. I was standing on my own drinking, just watching the dancefloor when next thing she came up to me and said: "Where you at the Metallica concert?" I mentally freaked cuz I was and I thought maybe I done something to someone at it and she saw it or was the victim or something like that (You know how it can be when you have had drink in ya )

Anywho we just got chatting from there and now we meet up on the weekends, not bad! Now I can say I got the girl as a result of Metallica, YEEEEERRRR!!

Jesus she musta had major Fancying for you remembering you from a concert!

i dunno....have to say i'm ever so slightly put off now by all the "He'll think you're only after sex" stuff. lol. (if there is a) next time i feel like doin it, i'll be putting even more thought into it. hahaha.

The Mad Hatter

Niamho! wrote:

(I dont think this qualifies for PI...maybe im wrong feel free to move if needed)

So heres the thing.... in Eamon Dorans last night and there was this really cute bloke. just kept staring at him i was like some kinda stalker...

Anyway, I was REALLY tempted (as i regularly am) to just go up and chance my arm and talk to him....why should blokes do all the chatting up and all that....but My question is, I never know what to say, thats what puts me off.
i'm a really straightforward kinda person. my mate (A bloke) was telling me to go up and pretend to think he's someone else but i think that's really obvious and stupid, so in my straightforward way i'd rather just ask him straight out is he single and how old is he. is that WAY too forward? would you be put off by that? (seems like the best approach to me when im drunk! ha!)

I'm often told that a bloke is pretty much not gonna turn you down unless they just does not find you attractive....is that true? would you be impressed with a girl chatting you up?? and i dont mean to come across as really big headed or anything but im not a bad lookin girl. i dont think. woiuld you be chuffed and go for it?

Just for the record, and I'm not sure whether anyone's said it already, but this is what often causes guys who are shy to not talk to girls. Sure does for me, anyhow. And that's why it's often a relief when the girl initiates contact.

Basically - for me anyhow - I'm grand when I get going.

DRakE

Hey Caliden, you've nice eyes.. wanna go in the back and i'll give you a handjob?

Dub_girl_101

fakearms123 wrote:

Unfortunately there is a thin line in the mind of lads between flattery and the notion that your getting a sloppy BJ from some slut when they are approached by a girl, and adding drink to the mix is only going to heighten a lads eagerness to intercourse, i know its a bold statement but its true. Im in a relationship but all my mates are single, well i've made the observation that lads seem to bottle all their chatting up until they reach a nightclub and thats where every little hormone is released. My friend was in o'briens sandwich and he had an open change of talking with a hot girl, but he turned around to me and said, its grand we're going to a nightclub tonight full of women. I couldnt understand, have I been out of the game too long or is every location not grounds for talking to women.
Well my current girlfriend of almost 2 years made the first move when we were out one night, we were friends for 2 years before hooking up, i hadnt seen her for months before that night, the only reason i didnt make the first move is because she was my mate's ex and i wasnt sure what the rules were if she was out of bounds or not, well we were getting on really well that night, she was concentrating all her conversation on me and hugging me a lot, i found it flattering and we were with each other.
But being chatted up by completely random girls has only happened a few times and its pretty rare, i have been chatted up from friends of friends that i was introduced to, thats probably more common, so in summary if your chatting up a guy randomly just keep in mind what he is most likely thinking, dont give him any ideas cause he'll probably go for a mind ****.

Ehm was this o'briens just off o'connell street by any chance!? haha

Cuddlesworth

Caliden wrote:

I would probably spark a conversation with a girl if she came up and simply complimented me on an item of clothing or tell me I had nice eyes.
If the guy didn't pick up on that then he's an idiot.

Or drunk, very very drunk. It really burns when you cop it the next day.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

The Mad Hatter wrote:

Just for the record, and I'm not sure whether anyone's said it already, but this is what often causes guys who are shy to not talk to girls. Sure does for me, anyhow. And that's why it's often a relief when the girl initiates contact.

Basically - for me anyhow - I'm grand when I get going.

Totally agree with The Mad Hatter on this one!

Niamho, you should have gone up to the guy and just started chattign to him. Don't play silly little games pretending you have met him before or anything like that! I was in D2 last week and a girl came up and started chatting me up. I can't remember how she started the conversation, but it was something simple, a comment about the place i think. Then within the first few minutes she asked if i had a girlfriend in a roundabout way....not blurting it straight out, which a lot of guys would reckon they are are onto a winner if she had! She was a really nice girl, she wasnt stuck up, she was really friendly and she got a gold star in my book for having the courage to come over to me and strike up a conversation. So next time, go for it

Zillah

I don't know about everyone else, but I'm not out to score when I'm in a nightclub. I can be very picky, so if someone basically lands on me out of the blue and starts talking to me it can be kind of irritating. I'd chat politely for a while but unless they were really really charming/interesting/fun I'd politely excuse myself a few minutes later.

So yeah, no harm in pouncing a cute guy you see, I think worst case scenario with 99% of guys is that they say they're gonna go get another drink/find their friends.