21, oddly enough ive never been....

LegacyUser

....in a relationship. hey not sure why im postin this, but im finding lately a lot of my mates (be it college or work) seem to be in relationships or casually involvded with someone.Ive been hearing this since from them since ive been 16. Anytime the topic of women come up, they always have some story to tell, be it good or bad, me ive never got anything to say. Me though, im 21 and i can honestly say ive never had had a girlfriend or even been casually with someone. It does sort of get me down at times, dunno whether there is simply some wrong with me or what the story is. I do find it difficult to talk to girls who i dont really know.Im not really into the whole club scene, you know that ****e of chattin up a girl in a packed, loud and smelly niteclub and i do go the pub and im in a gym.
I have kissed and had sex a couple of times, but its just why i cant seem to find someone special is why im posting here.
if any1 has any thoughts, id be happy if you could post them here, thanks

KilbarrackBlows

Same here was like 23 before i had my first relationship :eek:
late bloomer never been into clubs or anything makes things very difficult
i did meet some women of the internet over the years but they were seriously nut jobs/freaks and one even lied about her apearance
So all in all dont worry about it everyone meets the right person for them some time in there life.

Im not like a ugly looking or non friendly person i get on with people pritty easy i think its cause they always ask me to go out to clubs etc wich i have a real hard time in got a fear of crowds type thing so thats also a prob i have when i actualy do meet someone.

But you sholdnt worry about it to much i have two friends who i have never seen with a girl and im hanging around with them since like 2nd year :eek: and there both 22-24 so dont think your the only one and worry your head off about it, you'l meet someone eventualy

DiscoHugh

yea I was 22. No big deal really, if you actually really go out and go after it you can...I just never bothered until I was 22!

Shanda

your only 21. Its still very young. and u know what they say, love will come when u least expect it so maybe you should not think about it so much.

highlydebased

I know how frustrating it can be, with friends etc having girlfriends and you being the odd one out. I am generally in that scenario

But, sometimes I dont mind. The fuss, effort of a relationship.......too much!

The_B_Man

so you've been with a few girls, but you're worried that you havent found "the one" yet? Or that you havent found some super mega incredible girl that will do for the moment?

Man, if it was that easy, everyone would have the girl of their dreams.

Carrigart Exile

Neon-Circles wrote:

I know how frustrating it can be, with friends etc having girlfriends and you being the odd one out. I am generally in that scenario

But, sometimes I dont mind. The fuss, effort of a relationship.......too much!

Take it from someone twice your age, don't fall into the 'girlfriend trap' cos all your mates are doing it. Enjoy every minute of your life (that doesn't mean be going rag all day, it could mean enjoy the ability to have peace, your own company and a good book) and enjoy the freedom to go where you want without having to be part of someone's 5 year plan. When you want to settle down then is the time to go looking for a special partner.

Firetrap

Agreed. Who says you have to be in a relationship all the time? It's also not that odd. I agree that it can be tough going sometimes when you find you're the odd one out amongst your friends or you get invited to a wedding and have no partner etc.

Whatever you do, don't panic. You're still very young and have plenty of time to find the girl of your dreams. For what it's worth, I've yet to be convinced that pubs/nightclubs are good places to meet someone. Anecdotally, a lot of people I know met their partners through friends. Maybe your friends' girlfriends have nice single female friends...

comongethappy

It's not that odd. If you went to an all boys school, you wouldn't have had much chance to meet girls. The bar / nightclub scene isn't great way to meet people - it's hard to tell if you like someone when they're completely pissed (and perhaps you are too!). I met my other half on the internet. I wasn't looking to meet anyone at the time, just started chatting and sort of happened. However, if you choose to try to meet someone on the internet, just be wary:

1) Get a webcam, and before becoming attached or agreeing to meet, make them get a webcam. Anyone can scan in a pic of their mate / relative, etc, so make sure you can see a live image of them. And it can be fun too

2) Try to check out that their stories make sense and add up. If they talk to you about their parents, make a note of their names, jobs, etc. After talking to them a few times again, you could ask a question about their parents to see if they give the same response. You can simply say, sorry, I forgot, you already told me.

I'm very lucky it worked out for me - but I know people who it hasn't gone that well for, so be careful! But best advice of all, stop stressing and stop looking. It's generally when you're not looking that you'll meet someone amazing!