Insecure on the dart?

Dub_girl_101

Well, I just signed up to this thing now so not too familiar with the whole thing but I'm curious...is there anyone else in Dublin that feels like I do (insecure on the dart) or is it just me!?

To briefly fill you in, I get the dart pretty much every morning and evening and I find myself actually worrying about having to get it the next day! That cant be normal surely? And i'm literally cringing on the dart looking around feeling as though everyones staring at me etc. It's sucha horrible feeling and I don't know why I find it so difficult. I've told the odd friend about it and they find it hard to believe me sayind stuff like "what on earth are you insecure about" and all this.

About me, I'm a really friendly, laid back kinda girl, great sense of humour etc. The only thing is, I'm extremely low in confidence and am extremely self conscious everywhere I go. I put myself down a hell of a lot convincing myself i'm not pretty. My family and friends of family etc all think its ridiculous that I feel "ugly" and they all say "its so far from the truth, if only you could see it" and all this. I just cant believe it because I don't know whether they sincerely mean it or not.

I'd really appreciate if people could respond to this with their views on it! Cheers!

carlmango11

omg im the exact same!!! I always feel like everyones staring at me everywhere I go! I wont even go into town on my own because I'm so paranoid. I really thought I was the only person like this because my family always says I'm so paranoid. I dont take the DART but whenever I'm on the bus I hate even taking out headphones! I so know how you feel

Dirk Gently

I admit, I don't really like standing on the oul train when I get it. I'd be one of the people who scans every carraige as it pulls in and makes a bee line for the back two seats or to stand where I can look out the window.

Too many people in your face and where ever you look your either eyeballing someone or checking someone out while trying to look like your not checking them out. Sometimes it's a choice between staring at someones arse or someone elses face. An ass doesn't stare back at you with a big thick head so I usually stare at the ass.

Dub_girl_101

carlmango11, what a relief! Really thought I was the only one and couldn't understand how everyone else was so relaxed! Yea it's pretty much all public transport, Dublin bus included! And i defo know wat u mean...even looking through your bag for your ipod feels like sucha big deal! So annoying!

haha somehow i really doubt staring at peoples ass's is gonna help my situation! :rolleyes: Cheers for the replies!

KyussBishop

It sounds to me like you might have some degree of social anxiety:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

Does the description in that link seem to fit at all?

carlmango11

Yeah maybe I gots Social Anxiety then cos I'm pretty sure the fear my phone will ring too loud on the bus isn't too normal

Cunny-Funt

heh, I can be pretty self conscious at times but not as bad as what your saying. I was on the bus once when it was totally jammers. Everyone squashed on the ailes etc, bus driver still letting people on...

Well anyway, my alarm on my mobile was a recording of this really really REALLY loud manic laugh one of my mates did during a prank call...

It went off in my pocket and of course my phone was on loud setting. But it takes a second to fade in. I felt it going off before it made any sound but I couldn't get to it in time due to me being squashed. I managed to get to it JUST as it got extremely loud so the whole bus heard a big massive shreeeking noise before I quickly turned it off.:o

Capt'n Midnight

This is a reason to feel insecure http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055139404

the usual avoid eye contact , get a walkman / ipod so you can concentrate on that , get a book to read

Dub_girl_101

haha thats happened the best of us! Most embarrassing moment i've had on the dart was about a year ago. I was standing in the corner of the standing area, kinda slouching, listening to my ipod etc n i bent down just as the train was slowing down to pick up my bag and with that...boom! Fell sideways straight on the floor as the train suddenly stopped....EVERYONE looked...was sooooooo embarrassed to look up that i pretended to text! How embarrassing!!! Still think of it and that was a year ago!

DonkeyStyle \o/

"Oh no! they're looking at me!"... who cares what a bunch of random fúcking cabbage-heads are gawking at.

Maybe they're judging you... picking apart your appearance and rating you out of ten, before writing it into their little log-book of people they've judged that day... maybe you're so hideously ugly that they can't not look at you... what does it really matter?

I think the key is to acknowledge that people may be looking at you and learn to deal with this somehow... as you may already have guessed, my approach is "don't know them - don't care... if they're staring at me then they either think I'm a ride, or they've got mental problems; most likely both."

Most normal people know it's rude to stare... hence anyone staring at you is a complete idiot who doesn't know the rules of being a normal person... why would you give a flying fúck what they make of you?
Fúck them, they're cabbages.

WindSock

carlmango11 wrote:

Yeah maybe I gots Social Anxiety then cos I'm pretty sure the fear my phone will ring too loud on the bus isn't too normal

Just turn it to silent. I never use my phone on Public transport. Everyone listens to your conversation, which is fair enough, there is nothing else to listen to. I hate when people expect to have a private conversation in a public place. What do they expect?

afatbollix

KyussBishop wrote:

It sounds to me like you might have some degree of social anxiety:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

Does the description in that link seem to fit at all?

christ i fit alot of that...

Crash

I hate having any sort of phone call on the bus - and detest sitting beside people on the bus or train, even if I know em. just feels like personal space being violated :P

Newaglish

I always used to have a problem on the bus, I would never ever be able to make a phone call, listen to my ipod or read a book while on the bus/train because I thought everyone would be looking at me. I used to never go into places like dry cleaners or anything other than a regular newsagent because I wouldn't know what to do or say. I'd never answer the phone or the door at home for the same reason, and at work I hated making phone calls.

After a while, I guess I just grew out of it, I think it was just a little psychological leftover of the old awkward teenager years.

You just have to learn to tell yourself that you're being silly, you're just like everyone else and not a single person is ever going to bat an eyelid unless you fall over/drop your pants/do something incredibly embarrassing.

Tom Selleck

Most normal people know it's rude to stare... hence anyone staring at you is a complete idiot who doesn't know the rules of being a normal person... why would you give a flying fúck what they make of you?
Fúck them, they're cabbages.[/QUOTE]


Laughing my hole off. So true. "**** them they're cabbages" shall be my new mantra on the bus.

TheThing!

This represents a patern of thinking which will only result in terrible consequences. You realise that this isn't normal, which is important.The next step is to confront the fear within you. Your fear isn't as simple as a fear of being looked at on the DART, this is just a manifestation of a deeper level of insecurity. Some part of you feels inadequate for some reason. You must deal with this problem as quickly and effectively as possible because the longer it lasts, the worse it will get.

Jay D

I was a bit like that growing up.

People are only people though and we're all in the same boat - so to speak.

I hate being on any for of transport without my mp4 for two main reasons:

1. It saves me from listening to others talk crap, especially the ones who think there's no one as charming as them or the little muppets 'down the back of the bus'.
2. It keeps my mind occupied and I don't care what people think if they look and see me nodding etc, done it all the way home this evening from Pearse.

Keep the chin up.

People who gawk are stupid. No two ways about it. Eye contact, glances etc are ok but know this, the ones who don't look elsewhere are fools.