[Req] The Best Toilet Graffiti

FrCrilly

I’m sure a lot out there have come across some good toilet graffiti at some point. Feel free to share it here:

I’ll start:

On right wall: Look Left
On left wall: Toilet Tennis has been cancelled due to foot and mouth.

My English teacher once asked me to compose a Limerick so I stabbed her.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Real answer: Because 7 8 9.
Toilet Graffiti answer: Because 7 raped 6’s mother.

[Under a drawing of a headstone]
Under these stones lies Mary Jones and it is little wonder
For these aren’t the only stones that Mary Jones lay under.

snb

On the inside of the door at the bottom

'Beware of Limbo Dancing midgets'

h57xiucj2z946q

here i lie in stinky vapour
cuz some sh!thead used all the toilet paper
shall i linger
or will i be forced to use my finger




Here i lie
broken hearted
tried to sh!t
but only farted

Senna

Everybody pisses on the floor. be a hero and sh1t on the ceiling

Alanthroneus

this toilet paper is like john wayne, its rough and takes no **** from anyone

pretty-in-pink

i see you

Zapp Brannigan

In NUI Maynooth on the toilet roll dispenser : "Arts Degree, please take one"

Jesus Wept

On the wall of a bathroom of a small house myself and my friend rented in Bondi Beach.....

http://wthax.org/images/697404704615490366039644_carlowStyle.jpg


'SNORTIN A 4 STONE BAG A YOLK'S THROUGH A 4 INCH WAVIN PIPE (CARLOW STYLE)'.

folan

Zapp Brannigan wrote:

In NUI Maynooth on the toilet roll dispenser : "Arts Degree, please take one"

Love that one! always makes me laugh when i see it!

evil_seed

can't remember where i saw this but i'll never forget it:

some come here to sit and think,
some come here to **** and stink,
some come here to scratch their balls
and read the writing on the walls

Fey!

evil_seed wrote:

can't remember where i saw this but i'll never forget it:

some come here to sit and think,
some come here to **** and stink,
some come here to scratch their balls
and read the writing on the walls

That was years ago in Tigh Neachtain, Galway.

Or "Flush hard; it's a long way to the Harp tap"

Wacker

I'm male, just so you know. It matters for this one. But then, what king of a girl would call herself Wacker? Actually, the same could just as easily apply to a bloke.

Anyway, I saw this in the jacks by the theatre in Trinity eight years ago:

"Depressed? Lonely? Preganant? You're in the wrong loo!"

WindSock

I think I might start using the mens jacks, the womens ones are not funny. They have either who they fancy, who is a bitch or some semi-philosophical drunken rambling that tries to be clever, but isn't.

Blackhorse Slim

Zapp Brannigan wrote:

In NUI Maynooth on the toilet roll dispenser : "Arts Degree, please take one"

WTF? Is that still there? I saw that in Maynooth BEFORE it was NUI. :eek:

old boy

here i sit broken hearted
i came to s*it
buy only farted
seen this a long time ago, forgot where

Dermot2468

Doesnt really count because i seen it on family guy, but any way, Written on the wall:-
"I just wrote on the wall, take that society" Or something along those lines.

Just reminded of this thread.

Tabnabs

snb wrote:

On the inside of the door at the bottom

'Beware of Limbo Dancing midgets'

I always liked the alternative:

'Beware the pygmy limbo dancer!' with an arrow pointing down. Suppose pygmy is harder for drunks to spell

KdjaCL

"this is the toilet"



kdjac

aidan_walsh

"I ****ed your mom!"
"Go home Dad, you're drunk"

Mahatma coat

the Libo Dancing midget one used to be on one of the Doors in WIT when I was there.

saw one on a cubicle wall in Singapore airport

"Travel Broadens the mind, But one ust have a mind to begin"

Fresh Pots

written high up on the wall, "If you can piss this high you should be in the olympics"

whatever73

Seen this in WIT

Star date 9802,
Captain no bog roll,
We have a major Cling on situation.

Made me laugh anyway

dubtom

I've seen this one many times
'TS wanted 087*******

h57xiucj2z946q

"Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand!"

MooseJam

It's no use standing on the seat the crabs in here can jump six feet

Benny-c

Seen in Cork Inst Technology;

"CIT may be Sh1t,
but at least it's not LIT":D

Crumble Froo

Mahatma coat wrote:

the Libo Dancing midget one used to be on one of the Doors in WIT when I was there.

saw one on a cubicle wall in Singapore airport

"Travel Broadens the mind, But one ust have a mind to begin"

hehe, saw this on a condom machine in singapore airport... excuse the pic... crappy cameraphone :rolleyes:

Arctic_Monkeh

On the urinal divider wall:


"Eyes forward buddy"


I loved that

tc20

Written on the wall above the urinals in a bar in Bondi -

"If its t1ts or wheels, sooner or later its gonna cost ya"

barryfitz

Saw one years ago in some bog somewhere. I dont know how I remember this after so long.

While noticing this notice,
you will notice that
this notice is not worth noticing,
So Take no Notice!

Saw a deadly one written on a johnny machine somewhere as well

it said

"insert baby here for refund"
(with an arrow pointing down to where the johnny's drop down)
Classic!

radioactiveman

in jacks in trinity :
DON'T BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!!! I'M HAVING A SHIIIII (with the t leading up to the ceiling)...

MOH

In the Long Stone:
"I used two love her once a long long time ago"

Underneath:
"Did she leave you cos you couldn't spell?"

gingerGiant

On the wall at a urinal, I can't remember where:

Oi! buddy, two's a shake,
three's a w*nk.

Goat Mouth

saw this in a converted church toilet once...
"For warm brown dick sex call 087(..etc)"


and then i saw this one in Maynooth NUI recently, made me giggle...
"For Extreme Fast Hardcore DragonForce Sex call ..."

Love2love

In this toilet there is no paper
Behind the door there is a scraper....

masseyno9

The full version of an earlier quoted poem:

Here i sat with both cheeks parted
Tried to sh1te but only farted,
A fart so great it rocked the bowl,
And burned the hairs around my hole!

bad2theboneB

Written on a door in some jax was

Down with graffiti!

carfax

itsabagofleaves wrote:

written high up on the wall, "If you can piss this high you should be in the olympics"

Saw a similar when I was about twelve - "If you can piss this high you should join the fire brigade"......made me laugh at the time, but I was 12.

prospect

In the toilets o fthe computer building in Griffith college:
"The pen is mightier than the MS Word"


Someone told me about this one, written in a mens cubicle:
"Mary loves Joe"
ans underneath
"Either Joe has a big head, or Mary is in the wrong place!"

jobonar

Saw this in the toilet in a pub on Sunday night. I must have sounded like a right weirdo laughing to myself in a public jacks!

Mcfecked

Was in some pub in navan recently and on the condom machine was written "For refund, insert baby"

Thought it was good.

Cool_CM

in Nui Maynooth, cant remember where though
"Damien Rice........Ireland's answer to a question nobody asked"
It's funny because it's true!