i think im over my ex but.........

LegacyUser

ok regular poster jsut looking for some quick views on this.

basically i broke up with my girlfriend back march(roughly) as she kissed someone else, i have no real hard feelings against her for this as there were reasons behind it that were my fault too. i tried to make it work but after few weeks i just had to call it a day. we had been going out just over a year but i dont regret this.


now since then i have been with one girl who was another ex that i was with before and we got back together basically for just sex that was grand at the time but its done now.

i have not been with anyone else. now i know my ex has been and this makes me jealous, not really badly angry jealous more like "i dumped her i should be getting on with it sooner" type of thing. i also know she really likes the guy she is currently seeing and i honestly 100% wish them the best of luck BUT there is still this annoying nagging feeling in my chest that i cant seem to get rid of.

i know i dont want to get back with her and i know if we did it would not work so i know the jelousy is a selfish thing were i feel like i should have what she has now but my question is how do i get over this. the easiest way is to get under someone else but somewhere along the way i seem to have lost my natural ability to do this and that could be the big thing thats annoying me but im just not sure.

sorry if thats very disjointed and waffly but its just my thoughts as of now any advice/views is much appreciated

Lola123

The easiest way to get over someone is not to get under someone else imo. That just delays getting over things properly.
It's natural that you feel weird about your ex being with someone else so I wouldn't worry about it too much.
My advice would be to cut all contact and get on with your life.
You'll eventually stop worrying about all this. In the mean time, keep yourself busy, go out with friends etc.

Dukephil

Been in a similar situation myself. I know that we were fundamentally unsuited but because I remebered the good parts of our time together I found it hard to move on.

Then I started thinking about the reasons we broke up - the parts of her personality that I didn't like and the fundamental differences we had on a lot of issues. I have been luckier than you in that we had a clean break and I have not seen or heard from her. That makes moving on easier evn though I too wish her the best.

Maybe a clean break would help for you too?

Talliesin

When you find the switch you can flip to get over something instantly, please let us know.

In the meantime, there was presumably something good about the relationship for you to be in it at all, and you're grieving that. Get on with your life and it'll fade naturally.

MistressPandora

I got out of a very long relationship last May which I'm still very much heartbroken over, but it gets easier as time goes on. This is my advice:
1. Spend time with your friends. (If it's sunny, go to your nearest park with them etc.)
2. Take a holiday somewhere outside of where you live. It does good to get away for a few days.
3. Avoid seeing/talking to your ex for a while. Sounds kinda harsh, but at the moment, the more you see/talk to her, the more you'll get upset. Eventually, when you're both ready, you'll be able to see/talk to her without that feeling in your chest.
4. Be good to yourself. Beating yourself up over this won't help your mentality (trust me, I was doing this until very recently) and besides, you deserve to treat yourself after all the heartbreak you've been through.

Best of luck my friend, I hope my advice helps somewhat.

CathyMoran

I agree that you should cut contact with your ex at least for the moment. No matter how badly a relationship ended you will always have feelings for them and at the moment your feelings are still raw. I wish you all the best.