How to write your description for online dating sites...

theganster

I thought I might have a crack at internet dating for a laugh, sick of wasting my time with the usual bullsh!t in bars etc, and I'm intersted to see what the online thing is like.

So, I've joined a site with lots of pretty ladies and am about to start sending a few messages. First, I need to write a profile. This is pretty important I think, as unline men who go primarily on looks, women are far more likely to also judge you on what you write in your profile...

I don't just want to write the usual bullsh!t, "I'm a really nice guy, like sports and going out with friends" bla bla bla snoooooozzeee - I want to show them that I'm an interesting guy and not an idiot/moron/looser like I'm sure there are plenty of on the web.

So, I'm lookin for some advice. "Be Yourself" I'm sure everyone will say and of course I will, I always am; but I can be serious, funny, silly, crazy, anything just like many other people. My question to women is, what do you like to see (and Not like to see) in a profile? I don't want to come across to serious saying I'm very career orientated, but I don't want to seem like nothing but a party animal either...

Shall I keep it short and sweet or write something more interesting and captivating...

Also, what about when I send these girls messages... What is the best approach? You don;t want to sound boring, but not too eager/desperate either.

I've alweays wondered, If I send a message to an obviously beautiful girl, is saying "I think you are gorgeous/beautful/pretty" always a good thing, or should I perhaps be different to the 50 other guys who I'm sure have sent her a similar message and not compliment her looks at all, and instead say something else...

Can anyone who has experience offer some advice?
Thanks

chump

theganster wrote:

I thought I might have a crack at internet dating for a laugh, sick of wasting my time with the usual bullsh!t in bars etc, and I'm intersted to see what the online thing is like.

So, I've joined a site with lots of pretty ladies and am about to start sending a few messages. First, I need to write a profile. This is pretty important I think, as unline men who go primarily on looks, women are far more likely to also judge you on what you write in your profile...

I don't just want to write the usual bullsh!t, "I'm a really nice guy, like sports and going out with friends" bla bla bla snoooooozzeee - I want to show them that I'm an interesting guy and not an idiot/moron/looser like I'm sure there are plenty of on the web.

So, I'm lookin for some advice. "Be Yourself" I'm sure everyone will say and of course I will, I always am; but I can be serious, funny, silly, crazy, anything just like many other people. My question to women is, what do you like to see (and Not like to see) in a profile? I don't want to come across to serious saying I'm very career orientated, but I don't want to seem like nothing but a party animal either...

Shall I keep it short and sweet or write something more interesting and captivating...

Also, what about when I send these girls messages... What is the best approach? You don;t want to sound boring, but not too eager/desperate either.

I've alweays wondered, If I send a message to an obviously beautiful girl, is saying "I think you are gorgeous/beautful/pretty" always a good thing, or should I perhaps be different to the 50 other guys who I'm sure have sent her a similar message and not compliment her looks at all, and instead say something else...

Can anyone who has experience offer some advice?
Thanks

Learn how to spell loser properly or she might think you're a terrible loser!

Just be yourself man

LegacyUser

chump wrote:

Just be yourself man

What is loser other than a woman term for someone she does not fancy. If she did fancy him she would have some other name

theganster

I have many talents but spelling is definitely not one of them

ntlbell

theganster wrote:

I have many talents but spelling is definitely not one of them

That many eh.....

Your just not understood offline? :cool:

Victor

I'm not sure if this counts as a PI. I'll leave it for now, but help me here theganster.

Petey2006

unreg2007 wrote:

What is loser other than a woman term for someone she does not fancy. If she did fancy him she would have some other name

Can anyone translate this into English?

EDO

You said it yourself - "Be yourself" - I know its a cliche - but its the best going.

Going on your original post I think you have a pretty good idea what you want to say so go for it - do a first draft and write whatever comes into your head - regardless of whether you go ahead with the online dating thing - its a good exercise to force yourself to a long hard look at yourself now and again and commit it to paper - you maybe pleasantly surprised, or go "Yes there is a bit of work to be done here or there"

Approach like you would with a CV - you are selling yourself - you want it to stand out from the rest - but like CVs - remember the most it will get you is an interview- date - after that you have to be the person in the CV - so stick as much as possible to the truth. I did one of these profiles for an ex-flatmate of mine a couple of years ago - I gave a breezy confident witty description of an individual whose general demeanour and mood in truth, could only be described as that of a manic depressive waterbuffalo who returns home after a hard day in the swamp to find his missus in bed with the local Hippo! - Yeah he got a couple of first dates out of it , but that was far as it went - and Im sure there are some angry pissed off women out there looking to sue me for violation of the trades and goods description Act!

So - write a couple of drafts.

Be confident - to paraphrase that famous advertisment - if you don't think you're worth it - don't expect anybody else to either.

Keep it light interesting and humurous - who you are where you're from what you're doing on the site etc etc - touching gently on a few of your achievements,interests etc etc , but not too much - Dont give it all away at once! - Im sure the site has a seperate section for the "list" where you put all that stuff - a little self depreciating humour is good - means you dont take yourself too seriously - but not too much - main thing is keep it all in balance and this is the part of your profile where you get to express a bit of your character. At the end of the day you're looking for a date - and if someone is going to go on a date with you - the main thing they want is to have fun - the rest can take care of itself after that.

So, in conclusion - be yourself and before you submit that final draft , take a read thru it , visualise yourself on a date and if you're confident that you can carry on the way you started it - go for it.

Hope that jumbled - half assed Sunday evening ramble made some sense and that you got something out of it!

PS: What Women want? - the greatest minds in history have been working on that one for centuries and we(men and probably at least 70% of women) are still no closer to answer - Dont worry about it!- Be yourself

PPS: unlike me here - turn on the spellcheck and no bad language!

EDO

theganster wrote:

I thought I might have a crack at internet dating for a laugh, sick of wasting my time with the usual bullsh!t in bars etc, and I'm intersted to see what the online thing is like.

So, I've joined a site with lots of pretty ladies and am about to start sending a few messages. First, I need to write a profile. This is pretty important I think, as unline men who go primarily on looks, women are far more likely to also judge you on what you write in your profile...

bit of a stereotype - you'd be surprised what you can do with Photoshop these days!-

I don't just want to write the usual bullsh!t, "I'm a really nice guy, like sports and going out with friends" bla bla bla snoooooozzeee - I want to show them that I'm an interesting guy and not an idiot/moron/looser like I'm sure there are plenty of on the web.

Take a look around at the other profiles and learn - but dont worry about the rest - you sound pretty confident so show it.

So, I'm lookin for some advice. "Be Yourself" I'm sure everyone will say and of course I will, I always am; but I can be serious, funny, silly, crazy, anything just like many other people. My question to women is, what do you like to see (and Not like to see) in a profile? I don't want to come across to serious saying I'm very career orientated, but I don't want to seem like nothing but a party animal either...

Short answer - women do not have a definite answer to that question - they will have none or 1000's - They don't know what they want , but they'll know it when they see it! - all depends! Trust me on this!!

Shall I keep it short and sweet or write something more interesting and captivating..

- Interesting and captivating if I were you - it isn't written in stone you can always tweak and change it at a later date

Also, what about when I send these girls messages... What is the best approach? You don;t want to sound boring, but not too eager/desperate either.

I've alweays wondered, If I send a message to an obviously beautiful girl, is saying "I think you are gorgeous/beautful/pretty" always a good thing, or should I perhaps be different to the 50 other guys who I'm sure have sent her a similar message and not compliment her looks at all, and instead say something else...

Listen - Good looking women get the same ole compliments all the time - you're spot on - you want to let her know you're interested , but not in the "on my knees and drooling puppy dog "type of way - she'll put you with the rest unless you are George Clooney/leonardio De Caprio - read her profile and comment on that, tease and gently take the piss about her appearance- you have be a challenge - Anyway you know all this

Can anyone who has experience offer some advice?
Thanks

Hope that is some use

JungleBunny

I just hope that you use a better username than the one you are using here right now. "theganster" isn't really a username that will catch a woman's eye. Put some thought into that too. "The Stallion" or "HungLikeA" will usually only envoke one thing in a woman... the gag reflex.

Don't come across as too cocky either.
Read some of the other user's profiles and see what you liked/disliked about them. You will find that sometimes the profiles sound fake and you'll know immediately that most of tthe stuff is just made up.

I've alweays wondered, If I send a message to an obviously beautiful girl, is saying "I think you are gorgeous/beautful/pretty" always a good thing, or should I perhaps be different to the 50 other guys who I'm sure have sent her a similar message and not compliment her looks at all, and instead say something else...

If you want to contact a woman, how about sending her a message like
"Hey, you sound interesting. I'd like to get to know you a little better."
maybe ask her something about herself: famliy, what she does for a living, hobbies... etc
That way you can also see quickly if you have anythign in common with her.

spurious

Make her laugh....and don't get into the 'so would you like to meet up?' questions too soon.

milli

spurious wrote:

Make her laugh....and don't get into the 'so would you like to meet up?' questions too soon.

Yup humour is the dealbreaker for me, followed closely by not coming on too strong too soon. It´s really obvious when a guy has put time into writing a description and not the usual boring rubbish, a few drafts and you´ll get it right!

Talliesin

Be clear and upfront about what you are looking for. Two gripes I hear from people using dating sites:

"Gah, they said they just wanted a quick shag, but they were half-way to picking out curtains before the sommelier had opened the wine".

"Gah, they said they wanted to take things slow and were looking for something serious, but they clearly just wanted a quick shag".

Another tip on this, if a woman says in her profile that she is looking for a woman and not looking for a man, then it is highly unlikely that she will respond favourably to responses from men. This may seem pretty obvious, but from what I've heard from quite a few women there are a lot of men that don't get it. Even if a woman's profile says she's bi but only looking for women at the moment, you aren't going to make her think "well, this is one man worth looking at" you'll make her think "oh ffs, another idiot, are all the men like this on this site, I definitely made the right move in just looking for women here". Similarly, if a profile says someone is only looking for couples then they are only looking for couples, you won't persuade them to take a piecemeal approach to acheiving that.

As well as being up front about what you want, pick the sites you use accordingly. Some are geared more towards the sexual end of the sex/romance spectrum and some geared more towards the romance end - whether by accident or design.

Similarly, you might find some sites geared towards a particular profile that interests you (if you prefer to date within your own religion, if you have a fetish you want to share, if you are gay, and so on).

Beyond that, give a very full profile with lots of information. A very big gripe I hear is the number of profiles that are pretty much just A/S/L.

If the site allows you to upload a photo, and you are okay with the increased risk as far as anonymity goes, do. Even if you don't think you aren't physically very attractive it'll probably get more interest than a "shadowman" placeholder image. Do not put up a photo of someone else; even if you've been told you look like Jude Law, you don't look that much like him. As a general rule the photograph should be a head-and-shoulders shot or at least show you wearing clothes - on some sites that's different, but even then a picture of just your penis isn't as promising as you might think.

Oryx

Ive just been reading a book that includes a section on writing the perfect small ad. (The books on psychology, not dating:) ) Apparently you should write an ad that is 70% about you, your likes and dislikes etc, an 30% about the woman you are looking for. And humour is key. Women are far more likely to respond to you if you make them laugh. Id keep your profile short and to the point. Be inventive. These girls will be reading lots of ads, and wont be short of choice, so yours will need to stand out. If a pic is included a normal smiling pic is fine, not one of you in fancy dress, or nekkid etc.:D

And Id avoid references to sex/genitals/her body. Unless youre looking for purely physical encounters thats a real no no.