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Help please really now

  • 19-08-2007 11:54am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Here's the story, i'll try and cut it down but apologies if it spills out a little.

    I was with my girlfriend for ~2 years, through the second half of secondary school. About 3 weeks ago, i broke up with her, for what i thought was a good reason, but thinking back on it it really was just in my head. My dad had just been diagnosed with cancer, and i was feeling just really crowded and needed space. I think she understood and she said she did, and we're still friendsish and so on.
    However, my LC results came out and i really didn't do too well, i've decided to repeat but i'm still not sure. Anyway, pretty much the day they came out, i suddenly realised how muhc i missed her. Breaking up with her was the stupidest decision i've ever made and i'm in complete shreds over it.
    I ended up telling her this, and she said she still really cared about me, but we (well she) were going off to college (despite the same one) and would've broken up anyway. I knew this was always going to be the case, but i never realised it'd hurt so much.

    I know it's my fault for doing so, and no matter how much i want to get back with her, it's impossible. And i feel really bad feeling like this because i know she knows i feel like this and it's not fair on her.
    I did realise that because it took a shock like the lc results to make me realise that i missed her, i think i did in fact just miss a relationship and the support of it. And much as i try to accept this, i just can't stop thinking about her and all the fun we had. i mean, she was perfect like. She understood me down to the bone and i her and people had said they couldn't imagine us apart, she was the best thing that's ever happened to me and then i went and screwed it all up.
    And i know it was inevitable anyway, but i still can't help feeling that if i hadn't broken up with her, we might still be together and something would've worked out. And that if i'd actually done some f*cking work over the year and not just acted the complete f*ckhead and taken our relationship for granted, i'd have gotten the results i wanted and we'd both be in college together and it'd be prefect.
    And now instead, i'm staying put while she disappears, and that's making it harder to decide to repeat because i just want to keep up with her and stay by her side no matter what. And the thought of her with another guy pop into my head every now and then and it nearly makes me break down.

    Maybe what i need is reassurance that someone better will come along, and i do know this, but i still keep thinking that no one else could be better than her and what if she was the one? And i know aswell that because i keep thinking this, and keep dwelling on her that i could well miss this better person in my sorrows.

    I've just realised it came spilling out, sorry, i really just needed to get this out of my head. Many thanks for any advice anyone has, and if someone wants to hit me in the head with a 2x4, i'll pay them. I think i need to get drunk. :(


Comments

  • #2
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    johnnyf-up wrote:
    Maybe what i need is reassurance that someone better will come along
    If the concept of "someone better" even makes sense, then it wasn't that big a deal and you'll realise that in time.

    You're grieving what you had now. There isn't much one can do to make that better, but it doesn't last forever.


  • #3
    comongethappy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,753 ✭✭✭comongethappy


    Don't worry - if you needed space in the first place and broke up - then you did the right thing.

    You're probably missing her a lot right now because you miss having support and a confidant regarding leaving cert results, father's cancer. It must be a really hard time for you right now. Breaking up with her must have been difficult as well. But, chances are, if you were meant to be together, you would be.

    It will be hard, and you'll miss her a lot, but in time it gets better. Don't drink to get over her, and don't throw yourself into another relationship to get over her. If you want to sleep with someone, that's fine, just dont' commit or get attached too soon. Give yourself a break and start hanging with mates. Love often comes when it's least expected!


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