timewise

LegacyUser

Ok, a dilemma.

Met a guy few weeks ago- we slept together the first night (not something I ever do but it happened), and have been 'going out' since we met, but for almost two weeks of this month together, he has been on holidays. We've only had one date, and otherwise just been talking on phone, texting and meeting up a few times. He's back late tonight and there's no time to go for dinner, a drink, etc. so it's looking like he'll come over to mine, or I'll go over to his, but I'm really thinking after not seeing him for last couple of weeks I want to talk to him first and then it could be that we're together. But I need to reestablish us as a couple, or well as going out, as I'm not wanting this thing to turn into a casual relationship, and at the moment even though we have said we are going out, I want to be sure we are....

So I guess I'm looking for advice. Tell him I'm out tonight with the girls, can't see him? Or is it expected that I definitely make time for him as he's just back from holidays?

SarahSassy

Go out with the girls tonight and see him tomorrow during the day. It possible that he will be wrecked anyway. Give him time to get home, have a good night sleep and you can catch up tomorrow.

Its too early in the relationship to be giving up nights with the girls for a late night rendez-vous. You rushed the physical side of the relationship so its time to see if the there is substance to it other than sex. I think the late night booty-call will set the tone for the rest of the relationship. If its going to work it will still work if you leave it til tomorrow to see him....

Just explain to him that you had the girls night out organised and you are free all day tomorrow to catch up.

SS

PS What you do mean by 'we have only had one date' and then saying 'meeting up a few times'?

Foxykitty

I think sassy sarah has it spot on:D

SarahSassy

I aim to please

Talliesin

I think you're over complicating this. Neither meeting him tonight nor not meeting him tonight will have any particularly strong implications for what is still a fledgling relationship.

You don't feel like seeing him tonight. Don't. Simple.

SarahSassy

Talliesin wrote:

I think you're over complicating this. Neither meeting him tonight nor not meeting him tonight will have any particularly strong implications for what is still a fledgling relationship.

You don't feel like seeing him tonight. Don't. Simple.

I dont agree with this point of view. I think if you continue to allow him treat you as a bootycall then the relationship is unlikely to develop beyond that... If you are happy with this then proceed but it sounds to me that you want more than a f***buddy relationship with him.

Talliesin

It's a second date. Whether it's a "bootycall" or not depends on what happens after.

For that matter, if he calls over there's no law says they have to have sex. Stick on a DVD, open a bottle of wine, chill out and then go to sleep. The sexual revolution never did manage to get itself a secret police force to kick your door in at 4 in the morning if you don't screw anyone.

Whatever she's comfortable with won't be a wrong answer (well, there could be a wrong answer, but only if she's a prick, in which case who cares).

SarahSassy

They have had a date and a few 'meetings'. It wont do any harm to go out and have a night with the girls rather than sit waiting for him to arrive - plane could be delayed etc.

I guess, no matter what they do tonight, its too early for her to be sitting in waiting for him IMO

Talliesin

Meh. We both think she should leave it tonight in any case, even if we disagree on how we came to that conclusion.

In the meantime it's also occurred to me that ideally early dates shouldn't be rushed, they should be savoured. That's another good reason.

SarahSassy

Talliesin wrote:

In the meantime it's also occurred to me that ideally early dates shouldn't be rushed, they should be savoured. That's another good reason.

Hear, hear!!!

OP, the votes are in....:D