BF embarrassed of pictures?

LegacyUser

BF of a few months asked me to take down all pictures of the two of us from my social networking website because he didn't want work mates to see them and slag him. They had been up for a good few months and he knew they were there. At the time there wasn't a big chance of his work mates seeing them. There is now a definite chance that they would see them. The pictures were totally innocent, just us standing there and his work mates know we are together, I worked there for a while too.

I did take them down but I kinda feel like it shouldn't matter if they do take the piss, I wouldn't care less if people slagged me. I had them up there cause they meant something to me. Am I over reacting? just would like to know what people think.

Thanks.

Beruthiel

Respect his privacy. If they mean something to you, get them printed and put them in a photo album.

Talliesin

Different people are private or public to different degrees (and about different things and at different times).

If he isn't comfortable with them being published, then it's better not to publish them. It's not a big deal, it's just the way he is.

I'd say its possibly not so much a matter of being worried about being slagged as just not being comfortable with being that public and "my colleagues will slag me" is what he comes up with when he tries to put that discomfort into words.

Oriel

Do you have three heads? Why on earth would he mind being in a photo with you?

Boston

Oriel wrote:

Do you have three heads? Why on earth would he mind being in a photo with you?

Arseholes exist in the world, there are some who will slag you over everything and anything, especially who you're going out with. Thus I can't imagine its too pleasant going to work being slagged about your girlfriend, its the time of thing guys don't take well and its not because their ashamed, usually the opposite.

AnonoBoy

A lot of people don't like this idea that you have to put up all your photos on the internet for everyone to see. Personally I wouldn't be too keen on the idea. And I know many people who prefer their privacy.

I don't like the idea that people can view my life via a Bebo or Myspace page.

It's probably nothing to do with you - probably more to do with the way Bebo or the like is viewed in his workplace.

I'd say take 'em down and respect his wishes.

patrickolee

My P put pictures up of me and I made them take them down. You never know what someone else could do with those pics, or who will see them. It's a privacy thing, nothing more.

Kiera

Maybe its not just his mates he doesnt want looking at them. You sure he hasnt got someone else on the go?

dodgyme

He is right - If he worked me , I would make his life hell. Hell I tell you!

Beruthiel

Kiera wrote:

Maybe its not just his mates he doesnt want looking at them. You sure he hasnt got someone else on the go?

Jeez, talk about taking a leap. Some peope just don't like having their pics online. It can be just as simple as that.

Talliesin

Kiera wrote:

Maybe its not just his mates he doesnt want looking at them. You sure he hasnt got someone else on the go?

Yeah, and maybe the reason the OP wants to have pictures of the two of them on the Internet is a cunning double-bluff to fool him about the someone else she has going on.

Hell of a jump either way though.

Stench Blossoms

I think its fairly obvious he is doing the dirt on you and is worried his other woman(or man) will see you.

LegacyUser

'Thanks Guys, appreciate the responses.
I suppose it really is just a case of him being private about it, which is fair enough tbh.
No, I sincerely doubt he has someone else on the go - thanks for the lateral thinking though
I did take the pictures down when he asked, if a little disgruntled.
Will let it go so - thanks again.'

Boston

Get more excercise and eat more fruit.

cowzerp

maybe he just wants a bit of privacy-i dont want pervs looking at pics of me and my missus either, your head might end up on someone else's body on a porn site or something-:eek:

mikemac

Would you feel comfortable about your pictures up on a bus shelter where anyone can see them?
I doubt it (unless you're a model OP ) so if your boyfriend doesn't want the pictures on the internet, then respect that and take them down.

Btw, I didn't come up with that analogy, it was some guy on The Last Word on Today FM yesterday.

kowloon

Boston wrote:

Get more excercise and eat more fruit.

I couldnt agree more, perhaps joining a gym or some kind of club would be an idea

comongethappy

My hubby is incredibly self concious of how he looks in pics - he would be hurt if I put any up of him and I in such a public place. Respect that he is self concious (to a certain extent). My hubby refused to let me take any pics of him - which I could not tolorate. If something happened to him I'd want a pic of him to remember, or when we want kids I want them to see what we looked like when we were young. What I did is a booked a professional portrait session. That way he was able to choose what pics he liked and what other people would see. He was very happy with the pics and wants them up in our home! Perhaps if you had this done and scanned an image in he could be okay with it?

Cabaal

Some people are more private then others, for example I'm on the net years and years and I've been on boards years as well but you'd have a extremnely hard time finding a picture of me or even my real name

Ok some people here know it, but many others don't,

Somepeople just really like their privacy

King of Kings

Beruthiel wrote:

Jeez, talk about taking a leap. Some peope just don't like having their pics online. It can be just as simple as that.

not many other reasons? what flute wouldn't want people to see a photo of them and their better half....unless he was playing away or embarrassed about the relationship

OP - he has issues with the relationship - you should sort it out or get rid

**
sorry Beruthiel - Just thinking now....maybe he is on the run from the law..

Capt'n Midnight

Cabaal wrote:

Some people are more private then others,
...
Somepeople just really like their privacy

I know someone who just refuses to have his picture taken. Not just camera shy, a little more proactive than that.

But if you know anything about social engineering you can pick up a lot of info about someone, not the whole story but enough to be useful if you wanted to try to blag a bit.

Miss Fluff

I don't mind having my photo taken, could be called a poseur to some extent. In saying that, if any numpty even DREAMT of posting my photo on Bebo or MySpace or whatever I'd demand it be taken down immediately. I hate what these sites stand for, fine for immature exhibitionists to be conceited enough to think that the general public is genuinely interested in their life, fine whatever, just don't use my execeptionally good looks to boost your view count.;)

Kiera

Look i'm just saying he knew they were up there a few months and its only now he's getting the hump about them. just looks like there's more to it than his mates seeing them. as you said they know you are together so he should be proud of your relationship. i just think there might be someone else he's hiding them from?

The_Conductor

orla wrote:

I think its fairly obvious he is doing the dirt on you and is worried his other woman(or man) will see you.

Why on earth would you think that?
I hate pictures of myself- despite the fact that my wife loves taking photos, if she had a collection of them online somewhere I'd be pleading with her to take them down. Its a privacy thing- they can be totally innocent entirely innocuous pictures- but some people very simply do not like sharing pictures of themselves online. The end. I think that its bizzare that a simple request to take pictures off Facebook/MySpace or where-ever by the OP's boyfriend would be read as "Oh- hes doing the dirt on you....." Who are you to make a judgement call like that? You don't know the guy- if he wants his privacy, let him have his privacy. Not everyone is an extrovert who loves to plaster pictures of themselves over the weird wild web.......

Kiera

So how do you explain the fact that he didn't mind them being up there till now?

Beruthiel

Kiera wrote:

So how do you explain the fact that he didn't mind them being up there till now?

Perhaps it always made him uncomfortable but let her do it in order to please her - they are only going out a few months remember, it's early stages in the relationship. Maybe after thinking it through, and knowing how many people would see them, he decided to say something.

dlofnep

Uh, I know loads of people who hate being in photos... Maybe he just doesn't want random people online looking at them. He's right, take them down and respect his privacy.

The_Conductor

Kiera wrote:

So how do you explain the fact that he didn't mind them being up there till now?

Perhaps he only recently looked at them and took his time broaching the subject with his girlfriend.

Really- I just don't get how people seem to read anything other than the poor guy trying to get a little privacy into the equation. Are girls really that suspicious? I hate pictures of myself, fullstop- and do not like the idea of them being online. So what. It doesn't mean I have any intention of running off and having an affair with a leggy blonde- simply that I value my privacy and would rather that traces of me were not randomly scattered (any more than I choose) around the internet.

I cannot imagine why you are suggesting to the OP that her bf is having an affair- the suggestion, particularly in context, is bizzare. It suggests insecurities on your part that you are trying to project onto the OP.

Talliesin

Kiera wrote:

So how do you explain the fact that he didn't mind them being up there till now?

You're on boards.

How many times have you seen someone only cop on to just what it means to publish something in a world-readable place after they'd already done so.

Some of us are cool with that. I'm personally an "immature exhibitionist conceited enough to think that the general public is genuinely interested in my life" as Miss Fluff put it (we all have our immature ways of having fun, the photos you can find on the Internet of me in a nurse's uniform demonstrate one of mine). Some people aren't. Some of the people that aren't don't really realise what publishing means until after they've done so.

Hell, there are still people that think the Internet offers anonymity. It's stupid, but you can't blame people for being stupid, only for continuing in stupidity after things have been made clear to him.

Beruthiel

smccarrick wrote:

It suggests insecurities on your part that you are trying to project onto the OP.

I would concur with. To be that suspicious over something so unrelated, is bizzare.

dudara

There is a general movement today to make every tedious aspect of one's life available for public viewing. People are too free and easy with personal information. I would assume that he is like me and doesn't wish personal information being available on the internet. I don't think that there is anymore to it than that.

Kiera

Grow up!

Talliesin

dudara wrote:

There is a general movement today to make every tedious aspect of one's life available for public viewing.

Agreed. Hell, every tedious aspect of my life is available for public viewing, but expecting that everyone else would follow what is an extremely novel trend is pretty weird.

Trying to convince some poor girl that she should get paranoid is both weird and irresponsible.

This forum can make one feel like the world is split into two camps - those having affairs and those having to put up with their partner being convinced they're having an affair. The last thing we need is to encourage more of it.

Beruthiel

Kiera wrote:

Grow up!

Can you explain who that was directed at and why?

Kiera

Beruthiel wrote:

Can you explain who that was directed at and why?

It was directed straight to you because not only can you not have an opinion in here but you also get called insecure for having one!!

Talliesin

And you think that you aren't insecure?

Have you actually read your posts?

Kiera

Talliesin wrote:

And you think that you aren't insecure?

Have you actually read your posts?

I dont type with my eyes closed of course i've read them. Its an idea and i'm throwing it out there. Why else would the OP even bother posting if she didnt have a slight suspicion about something else going on? Anyway thats me two cent. G'Luck OP.

Marksie

Kiera wrote:

It was directed straight to you because not only can you not have an opinion in here but you also get called insecure for having one!!

Kiera: all the posters were responding to your posts, not one directed a comment about insecurity at you.

You have been on boards long enough to know the charter by now.

banned 1 week

Edit: I saw the one by SmMcarrick just.. But to clarify the ban is for the direct comments to beruthiel

I have a profile on a social networking site which hugely took off in the last year
My boyfriend does too, he has asked for his pictures to be taken down but mostly because we were drunk and he didn't like the way he looked I agreed I think there is one still there which he doesn’t care about and it a picture of us kissing. whether or not his pictures are on my profile is irrelevant as from comments or whatever its obvious he's my boyfriend so I would never go as far to think issue's with self consciousness were the only reason for the request.

Both our profiles are private too I asked for his to be private as I don't want all of my mates seeing what I write to him on all occasions and mine is private because while even though I have a few pictures on boards I don't want the entire world seeing pictures of me and friends/my loved one's and also I want to control who looks at them.

Maybe the OP's partner underestimated who would see the pictures
A privacy issue IMO , would be going a bit far to suggest two timing

RoundyMooney

Fair comment ^.

OP, I see nothing sinister about this at all. Fret not.

the_syco

Kiera wrote:

So how do you explain the fact that he didn't mind them being up there till now?

Some prat probably joined the company: the type of prat that slags him about his clothes, his car, etc. Mostly he'll probably be able to ignore them, but if someone was slagging your other half, would you like it?

If you are fat, skinny, normal or not, you can be slagged about it.