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Metamorphous

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  • 16-08-2007 10:23pm
    #1
    erivan79
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Metamorphous

    Matter can’t be destroyed, only turned to something else.

    Bright love turns to dull hate.

    We plan.
    Hope and wish.
    Sometimes, we scheme.

    Why?

    We can only change what will never disappear.
    Things become what they will.

    Lush youth ushered to dry age.

    My dad likened me to a horse running from a burning barn. When a barn catches fire, a horse gets frantic to return home. But home is fire.

    The fire changes everything.


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    #2
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    I like this. It makes sense in a way that took me about four reads.


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    #3
    erivan79
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭erivan79


    It's not very fancy, just a jumble of thoughts, but it meant a lot of things to me. It's nice to have someone else get a meaning from it.

    E


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    #4
    Holden Blake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭Holden Blake


    erivan79 wrote:
    Metamorphous

    Ok, what exactly is the form? Is it a poem or just a bit of flowery drabble? Either way it's got a nice even flow to it

    Matter can’t be destroyed, only turned to something else.

    Bright love turns to dull hate. The double contrast here is nice

    We plan.
    Hope and wish.
    Sometimes, we scheme.

    Why?

    We can only change what will never disappear.
    Things become what they will. Very true. I like your philosophical outlook

    Lush youth ushered to dry age.

    My dad likened me to a horse running from a burning barn. When a barn catches fire, a horse gets frantic to return home. But home is fire.

    The fire changes everything.


    The last three lines seem a little out of place but I do like the incorporation of some imagery. Overall this is a very nice little piece, well done.


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