How to seperate?

LegacyUser

Hello friends,

I am in a real dilemma. I've been going out with this girl for about 2 months now. She is lovely, and very nice. But I really can't see me living with her for rest of my life. Don't know why, but there's no real spark if you know what I mean.

At the same time, I would still be her friend. I am in a dilemma, and I need to divert this relationship to friendship. I need to do this without hurting her.

Any suggestions/ Comments/ feedback is received with open arms.

Cheers,

JCDUB

You just gotta bite the bullet and let her down gently.
Explain that you could easily prolong the relationship but it wouldn't be fair on either of you so it's better to call it a day before it goes any further.

Hopefully she'll understand and agree, but if she's bitter that's a risk you have to take, at least you're still being fair on both of you.

Crea

Chances are that you won't remain friends and in all honesty it's better to make a complete break initially so everyone can lick their wounds. It's very hard to be the "nice guy" during a break up but if you are honest with her now there's more of a chance of her respecting you in the future.

Wibbs

Do not use the "let's be friends" line. It's empty and selfish if she feels something for you. Tell her clearly you don't see her as a girlfriend and that you need to get a bit of distance between you for the moment at least. Do not keep her hanging on for something that won't happen.

As a matter of interest was is not glaringly obvious from the start you didn't have the "spark' for her?

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote:

As a matter of interest was is not glaringly obvious from the start you didn't have the "spark' for her?

To be honest, didn't realise at the start. It's just one of those things you may jump into without thinking twice. I am 26 and she's 22. To be perfectly honest haven't slept with her. And i'm just postponing.....

But I really don't want this to happen, Want to put a gentle end to this nice short relationship.

Cheers for all the suggestions so far.......

Marksie

helpmeplease! wrote:

Want to put a gentle end to this nice short relationship.

Then being honest and telling her what you have told us is perhaps the way to go. Face to face and as quietly and softly as possible

LegacyUser

Why are you looking for a magical spark? Two months is not really long enough to get to know someone and to know whether you actually really like them or not. The spark can appear later.
But if you want out then the only thing to do is to meet up with her and tell her to her face. I don't see what's so difficult about that.

The_B_Man

i told the last one there recently that i just didnt see us together in the long term. just tell her shes nice and all but if u look into the future, u cant imagine the 2 of yis married. she'll have a whinge etc but she'll get over it. lose contact for a week or 2 then maybe ya can send a txt or 2. it'll be grand!

did u shag her yet?

jellie

2 months really isnt that long. & if you dont like her whats the point of dragging it out longer & making it hurt more.

Just tell her the truth, you dont see it going anywhere. Do not use that whole "youre a really nice girl" crap because nothing sounds so patronising as a boy breaking up with you & telling you youre lovely.

Marshy

Its a question of being honest with yourself and with her.

On a side note, couldn't help but notice you spelt separate wrong. I think everyone can learn from this as its one of the most common errors. Just to clarify its sepArate not seperate.

ShowUsYourXbox

Chances are she's let a guy go on the same terms, just tell her the truth.

Then go to the boozer with your mates and head out on the town, you're single! WOOOO

ceidefields

Also for the love of dog, do not use the "it's not you it's me" line. You don't see it going anywhere, that's fine. Not a crime. I'm sure she'd prefer you tell her now than in a year's time or whatever

SarahSassy

Yeah be up front with her. If she is as nice and lovely as you say she is then she will take it on the chin... Good luck.