My Perception of the Economy and Political Systems

JSK 252

I was totally bored on bebo today so I decided to write a rant on my blog about how the world is run in todays dynamic 21st century world. Its kinda witty but I believe it to be nearly 90% ( thats just a generalisation but you get the jist of what im talking about) accurate:

The Bovine Economy
This is just a short summary of how the world works.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows
and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows.
The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows
But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows
None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.
You claim government subsidies for eight cows.

Any comments would be appreciated!:D

Time Magazine

JSK 252 wrote:

I was totally bored on bebo today so I decided to write a rant on my blog

Any comments would be appreciated!:D

I read this over three years ago so I don't think you wrote it yourself.

And I don't think this thread belongs in Political Theory.

seamus

If you're going to post up and old internet joke, the last thing you do is claim, "I made this".

I had a half hour free at work earlier, so I wrote a poem. What do people think of it?

I call it "Two Roads, One Choice"


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Dirk Gently

I wish I had two cows.
I could kill a half an hour milking them instead of reading threads like this.

Akrasia

Do you want to hear this new joke I made up?

Why did the chicken cross the road?



To get to the other side. HaHaHa

Fremen

I wish this was digg- Then I could bury you for:

A) Stealing someone else's joke
Using the word 'dynamic'
C) Posting in the wrong forum. Try humour next time.

JSK 252

When I posted this realistic JOKE on my bebo page nobody heard it before. Oh yeah and yes they are members of boards.ie thank you very much and they use the internet on a regular basis so yes they would have read a joke like this. There may indeed be a joke similar to this but I made this up myself.

Ah well you can never win them all can you.:rolleyes:

JSK 252

Fremen wrote:

I wish this was digg- Then I could bury you for:

A) Stealing someone else's joke
Using the word 'dynamic'
C) Posting in the wrong forum. Try humour next time.

A) I did not steal someone else's joke
I would consider the world to be dynamic since the word is both active and developing.
C) I wouldnt consider this to be humour. I consider it to be the unvarnished truth.

Akrasia

JSK 252 wrote:

A) I did not steal someone else's joke

Yes you did

C) I wouldnt consider this to be humour.

Your right, it's not funny

I consider it to be the unvarnished truth.

Purile racial and political stereotypes are the unvarnished truth?

oscarBravo

Jesus Christ.

JSK252, any more of this crap will earn you a ban.