Discordianism

eoin5

Basically is a religion that believes many gods exist but only choses one to follow, Eris of Discordia, the goddess of Chaos. The Principia Discordia has to be the most entertaining sacred text I've ever read. Its full of little gems like:

"This is ST. GULIK. He is the Messenger
of the Goddess. A different age
from ours called him Hermas.
Many people called him by
many names. He is a Roach."

and great stories like:

1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our
Lady who told him of a sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book.

2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth,
that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it,
wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying in the Truth,
become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings--an Inspiration to all men
and a Scribe to the Gods.

3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred mound, which was to the East of Mullah,
and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and five nights,
but found no Book.

4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that
Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself
down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the
first day of his labors.

5. Omar slept.

6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and
there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream
a Messenger of the Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a
Golden Chest.



7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash,
that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love
in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash,become a
Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings--an Inspiration to all men
and a Scribe to the Gods.

8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this s**t, man? What
care I for the Word and Sayings? What I care for the Inspiration of all
men? Wherein does it profit a man to be the Scribe to the Gods when the
Scribes of Governments do nothing, and are paid better wages?

9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground
by an Invisible Hand and did not rise for five days and five nights.

10. And it came to pass that on the fifht night he drempt, and in his Dream
he had a vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our
Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing
cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards
were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written.

11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded the Lord: Take ye This Honest Book of
Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay
it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto
the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent.


The religion boards has no place to put this so I stuck it here, and to be honest I think its more at home here anyways. Some links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discordianism
http://www.discordian.com/
http://principiadiscordia.com/

cerebus

Fnord.

The Hill Billy

Quite obviously devised by someone with an arts degree who couldn't hold down a McJob & had nothing better to do between watching Dr Phil & The Weakest Link.

SimpleSam06

I have yet to meet the invisible sky beard that can manage to make me a hang sangidge. I, on the other hand, have mastered the art of hang sangidges, with mustard, lettuce, a little finely sliced cheddar, and an unashamed dollop of mayo.

So it is my suggestion that the heaving masses of this puny planet bow down and worship me in my infinite might, sing a litany to my butterknife and raise prayer for my fridge, since lo, I am verily mightier than the massed gods in all their power. I accept offerings of used non consecutively numbered bills and attractive women, and plaid garments been declared an obscenity in mine eyes. Go forth and purge the plaid! Cleanse and purify!

eoin5

Hill Billy wrote:

Quite obviously devised by someone with an arts degree who couldn't hold down a McJob & had nothing better to do between watching Dr Phil & The Weakest Link.

I dont think they had Dr Phil on TV in 1958, although maybe he was just with a different name. He doesnt really seem to age, hes at least at highlander level, maybe even up to dorian gray status now.

SimpleSam, we shall bring justice to this plaid plague, to where should I send my tributes?

Tha Gopher

Hmm

A few of the Wu Tang Clan subscribe to the 5 percenter version of Islam that allows for drinking, doing drugs and riding multiple groupies.

Whee do I sign up?

The Bollox

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ftw

Nevyn

eoin5 this thread could have been started in either paganism or in spirituality.

18AD

And you possess the law of fives in your sig! Congratualtions!
I must admit I feel rather unworthy without a numerological reference in my name, however I assume the highest grade of discrodian in doing so...
Which happens to also be the lowest and somewhat mediocre.

Hail Eris!

eoin5

Thaedydal wrote:

eoin5 this thread could have been started in either paganism or in spirituality.

Ok, sorry. I figured sticking it in the spirituality forum would limit the discussion and I always thought paganism was just witches and sun worshipers and stuff (I blame bravo ), wiki set me right.

Terry

Want me to clean it up and move it?

SimpleSam06

eoin5 wrote:

SimpleSam, we shall bring justice to this plaid plague, to where should I send my tributes?

You, for one, welcome your new Pastel Hot Pants Enforcing For Tasty Young Fillies And Fit Middle Aged Women Sangidge Making Overlord!

eoin5

Terry wrote:

Want me to clean it up and move it?

Not really, I thinks its pretty much at home here

New linkys:

Robert Anton Wilson:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHgioUGVQF8

Some dodgey discordians, the good part is at the end:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-6hKDi6wOU

All you need to know:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Gran Hermano

Can we sacrifice goats when there is a full moon?

eoin5

Gran Hermano wrote:

Can we sacrifice goats when there is a full moon?

I donno, I dont think the goats would like it

Crucifix

I'm disapointed it doesn't have anything to do with discordant accordians. Will I ever find a religion that suits my esoteric needs?!

18AD

Will you ever change your esoteric needs to suit a religion!

I hope you're all enjoying this pleasent Boomtime...

eoin5

Crucifix wrote:

I'm disapointed it doesn't have anything to do with discordant accordians. Will I ever find a religion that suits my esoteric needs?!

How about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermetic_Order_of_the_Golden_Dawn ?
Its got more secrets than the quiet girl in class that doesnt talk much to anybody

SimpleSam06

eoin5 wrote:

How about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermetic_Order_of_the_Golden_Dawn ?
Its got more secrets than the quiet girl in class that doesnt talk much to anybody

Pity they hold as much practical value as the secrets of Dumbledore's hatmaker.

<_<

>_>

J.S. Pill

Hill Billy wrote:

Quite obviously devised by someone with an arts degree who couldn't hold down a McJob & had nothing better to do between watching Dr Phil & The Weakest Link.

Eh - "The price is right"

Engaging Sh!t man

eoin5

The Bollox wrote:

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ftw

The Invisible Pink Unicorn (Blessed be her Holy Hooves) pwns the Flying Spaghetti Monster tbh

Its Russels teapot you really have to look out for tho.

biko

See you all in Valhalla