Concerned about friend

Carsinian Thau

I think my friend is suffering from clinical depression.
We're both leaving cert students and are getting our results tomorrow. He had a fairly difficult year but I was a little too preoccupied to notice everything that was happening with him. I knew that he was having trouble sleeping etc. and that he was finding it really hard to study but things were so hectic with me that I just couldn't spread myself any further and help anyone other than myself. Anyway, I haven't him or anyone else since school ended (self-imposed exile, just to get some space). But I recently joined bebo and I saw a comment from him on one of my friend's pages. It was trivial but I clicked onto his page because I didn't even know he had a profile. According to the comments, it's been there for about a year.
But he mentioned on the page that he's hungry and tired a lot but finding it difficult to eat/sleep. Also, under the "Happiest when" option, he's written "when not isolated or being insulted" and under the "Scared of" option he's written "Darkness: both around me and within me".
He's had a lot of trouble in school (e.g. there was one teacher who just used to bully him constantly, I was aware of this but too afraid to say anything). I don't think his parents have noticed anything and although I don't really want to get involved (we're both different people from when we first became friends and I pretty much think our friendship is dead because he's moved on to socialise with others who have more similar interests {alcohol}) I feel that I have to do something because I don't think this is something he's going to get over on his own.
I'm going to phone the suicide helpline tomorrow but I don't quite know how to deal with this. I don't want to cause any trouble but I can't just sit back, shut my ears and wait for something to happen (good or bad).
Anyone got any suggestions?

quirk.

Try speaking to him about it.

Shanda

Maybe if you try bringing up the subject but not aim it directly towards him he might open up and talk bout it a bit. it might take a while for him to open up to everthing he's feeing but if you carry on being a good friend to him at least he'll have someone to talk to and trust. I woudn't push him into anything to big though, just test the waters first and see if he's ready to tell you about whats going on wit him.

Sleepy

Unless I'm very much mistaken, you aren't qualified to make any kind of judgement about your friend's mental health. If you do think he's down, what he needs is your friendship, nothing else. In my experience it's actually quite rare for a friendship not to be able to be rekindled if you've just let it die down.

Extreme-LoopZ

[QUOTE=Sleepy]Unless I'm very much mistaken, you aren't qualified to make any kind of judgement about your friend's mental health. If you do think he's down, what he needs is your friendship, nothing else. In my experience it's actually quite rare for a friendship not to be able to be rekindled if you've just let it die down.[/QUOTE]


The guy has been depressed for a year, he needs more than friendship at this point.
I agree with quirk, you should talk to him about it, but don't try and force anything out of him if he doesn't want to tell it. Don't be pitying either, that'll just make him feel worse. Just let him know that you are there if he needs to talk, if he admits that he is feeling depressed, maybe suggest a counselor.

Sleepy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

I'm sorry Extreme-LoopZ but unless you or the OP are medically qualified to make such a judgement please refrain from doing so. Someone being down for a while, even an extended while, does not mean they have clinical depression.

It seems like half the population suffer from 'migraines' rather than headaches or being 'depressed' rather than just a little melancholy at the moment. IMHO, it's disparaging to those that do suffer from these conditions.

Talliesin

I'm with Sleepy on this.

If he's suffering from depression, all the OP can do for him is be a friend.
If he's just a bit down, all the OP can do for him is be a friend.
If it's just a melancholic pose, all the OP can do for him is be a friend.

(The possibility of a melancholic pose isn't a moral judgement either, people have the right to express the darker side that exists in all of us).

It would probably be a good idea to talk about the possibility of seeing a doctor, but until the OP has got a medical doctorate that's as far as they can go about the medical route.

Whatever the story is, he probably needs a friend. If you can do that (and if you can't, fine, nobody's under any obligation to save everyone from everything) then you're doing as much as you can.