Lost

LegacyUser

I am going to waffle here, and whine aswell, I just have to get this off my chest.

Life sucks. Bla bla bla you all heard it before. I fail to see a reason for my existence. Work sleep work sleep. That is all I do. Sure I have some activities outside of work that are sometimes enjoyable, but that doesnt matter all that much. Life is still a bore. What is my purpose? I do not have any friends who I enjoy being around. No one makes me happy. I can't get a girlfriend as any who interest me (and they are FEW and far between) seem not interested. I feel awful. I hate myself. Hate hate hate. I like guys aswell, sometimes, but that would never happen.

I am in a job which was only meant to be a stop-gap but now I am permanent. I don't have any interest in it but it pays the bills. I am going nowhere, I have no ambition, I don't know what to do with myself. Home life is boring as hell and often makes me feel down. I feel empty. So empty.

What am I to do? I don't know, life is such a grind, no pleasure in it at all. Why put myself through this? There are a few things I like yes but 90% of it is crap. Change you say? To what? Where? How? Because I do not know. Anything else will likely end up the same.

I am only 21 but I wish I was young again. Children have it the best. I have so many regrets. I am finished school and college. What is there for me now? I think a large part of my problems stem from lack of enjoyable social interaction and lack of somebody to love. Both things which seem the most difficult things in life to achieve.

And so yet again, I go back to work tomorrow morning, back to the grind. I never asked to be here. I was not given a choice. Please don't hate me. I am truely lost.

genie_us

I am 26 and was in the same boat as you about a year ago. I felt like all I did was get up, go to work, go home, sleep, get up and do it all again. Go to the same pub on a sat night ever week, it was just one big groundhog day!
Eventually I decided that I had to change something, but what? Changing jobs would be grand for a few weeks but then I'd be back to square 1.
I was single and didn't want to be. I just felt like, what's the point?

So in the end I thought right, I've nothing to lose here, I'll look for a new job then see what happens. I found one and started in a new place. From there I met a load of new people and things did start to change. When I wasn't looking I met a really great guy and I'm still with him now. The smallest of changes seemed to turn things around. It's easy to say just change something but change is really hard to do.
I'd love to give you a hug to try and make you feel better and I probably haven't said anything to make you feel any better either but try not to feel so down, there's always something to look forward to, be it near or far away. As my nana says, what's for you won't pass you by. I hope you find what you're looking for!

biko

We don't hate you. But we won't like you if you're not likeable.
There is always a choice! You choose to be bored, you choose to not act on impulses to talk to people etc. If other people don't amuse you then you must amuse yourself.

A lot of people are stuck in the daily grind, me too, but I won't let it tear me down. Sometimes there might just be one tiny fun thing to do during a ****ty week but you better be there to grab it with both hands.

Hope any of this makes sense.
[/Dr.Phil mode]

ali.c

Your 21, far too young to stay doing something you dont like. Make a plan, take something you always wanted to do or try and start working towards it. Start taking small steps if thats all you can manage. if there is something you always wanted to study, look at doing a course, if there is something you wanted to do travel or whatever look at ways you can make it happen.

I am 25, and i wouldnt take back my teenager years tbh, all that teenage angst i can live without.

So your single, enjoy it. Learn about yourself, take some risks and see, everything changes but a relationship as great as they are wont make you happy long-term that is something you have to do for yourself.

leninbenjamin

sell up whatever you have and bugger off travelling for a year or two. hell if you get really lucky you might find a place where you really enjoy life and want to settle, but if not at least you'll be seein new stuff and meetin new people and making new routines. it'll be hard to make that initial step, but once you go you won't regret it. i've met craploads who did the same thing at your age and all of them benefited, some even found that special someone. i know i'll be off once i'm finished this degree.

ronbyrne2005

Travel, get a pet, join a dating agency, do some voluntary work, go to a counsellor ,do only things that make you content or happy. If you think you are depressed, go to your doctor and/or a psychotherapist.

LegacyUser

yadda yadda wrote:

I am going to waffle here, and whine aswell, I just have to get this off my chest.

Life sucks. Bla bla bla you all heard it before. I fail to see a reason for my existence. Work sleep work sleep. That is all I do. Sure I have some activities outside of work that are sometimes enjoyable, but that doesnt matter all that much. Life is still a bore. What is my purpose? I do not have any friends who I enjoy being around. No one makes me happy. I can't get a girlfriend as any who interest me (and they are FEW and far between) seem not interested. I feel awful. I hate myself. Hate hate hate. I like guys aswell, sometimes, but that would never happen.

I am in a job which was only meant to be a stop-gap but now I am permanent. I don't have any interest in it but it pays the bills. I am going nowhere, I have no ambition, I don't know what to do with myself. Home life is boring as hell and often makes me feel down. I feel empty. So empty.

What am I to do? I don't know, life is such a grind, no pleasure in it at all. Why put myself through this? There are a few things I like yes but 90% of it is crap. Change you say? To what? Where? How? Because I do not know. Anything else will likely end up the same.

I am only 21 but I wish I was young again. Children have it the best. I have so many regrets. I am finished school and college. What is there for me now? I think a large part of my problems stem from lack of enjoyable social interaction and lack of somebody to love. Both things which seem the most difficult things in life to achieve.

And so yet again, I go back to work tomorrow morning, back to the grind. I never asked to be here. I was not given a choice. Please don't hate me. I am truely lost.

Man, i read your mesage and pain screams out at me. I used to be and to a small extent still am like that. It does get better, my life before i met my gf 5 month back was utter **** (but ill always keep that hidden). I do suffer episodes of depression but manageble (just). Hang in there and dont let urself get too close to edge. Talk to someone, even go back to student health centre of your previous college. I now it must seem like u feel if u died tomorrow nobody would give a **** but its not the case. someone out there will make u feel worthwhile (and start withyouself, its taken a lot of balls to post this here). keep in touch

Poco Loco

Change it one little bit at a time. I used to feel so like you. And I wonder maybe is it to do with finishing college? Cause all of your life you know what's coming next i.e. Junior Cert, to Leaving Cert, to college and then........what? That's what I found - the world is your oyster but not really...

I started having this philosophy about a year ago (after lots of trying of anti depressants and lots of sleepless nights and notgettingoutofbed days) -

'If you don't like something, change it or shut the f**k up about it'!!!!

So at the time, I didn't like my job. So I changed it. Didn't like that so after a while changed again and now I love my job. Didn't like the house I lived in, so moved. All the time meeting people along the way and seeing new things. And just last week I realised out of the blue - I'm the happiest I've been in my whole life.

I totally agree with the others who have said 'go travelling' - but it might not be for everyone. There might be something less drastic you can do to start with, and see how you feel then. Even if you plan to go travelling in a year? That might make your job more bearable cause the money is going to something brilliant?

You will be ok. You just have to pick yourself up and give yourself a bit of a kick. I don't mean it in a bad way, I do feel for you. But you're the only person who can help you out.

LegacyUser

I was like you at your age. Nothing and no prospects. Didn't even have a permanent sh1t job.

Then out of the blue at 23 I decided to go to college. That was it. Now I am a professional with self respect and have no regrets. I spent some years messing about and travelling and dating random girls. Now I'm all sorted.

Just did the sensible stuff a little later than one is *supposed* to do. I'm less well off than those that left school when I did but hey, I've lived a lot more life than them.

What I'm saying is don't worry. Enjoy yourself. Travel a bit. And while you are at it, think about something you might enjoy- teaching, architecture, religion, engineering whatever. As a mature student (over 23) you can do it without the points probably.

Then someday apply for it. You'll enjoy college and then have a decent job and some prospects.

It's all there for the taking.

LegacyUser

'I'm 24 and in same boat. finished college, have a great job, great money, car, nice gaff, active social and sports life but still I don't want any of it. I hate all this bull****.

next year I'm going away to join the British Army, something that has been nagging at me for years. Only two people (old man and friend) know about it. You only live once y'know.

make a plan dude and go for it.'

carnival_joe

Reach out, Grab life and shake it tilll you get what you want.

We make our own opportunities, and we affect our life path

Make a decision to change something or do something different thats new, and then another, and another

Life is for living, its to blinking short to waste

Laugh to often, cry like a child, run like the wind, dance like nobodys watching. Be nice to you, love you, like you, and others will to

respect comes from within. We can't change your life for you, there are no magical fix all cures. However you can get up, get out there and do something. Don't get caught in this bitter, angry painful cycle you're in. Only you can affect your life really (internally).

Stop existing and start living. Just go for it! you have nothing to lose, and the everything to gain.

ps: you sound like I did while in my self-hate, self-harm, lets not eat for a week, drink to much and cut myself a little to ease the pain mode. get out of it. its a horrible feeling, and you don't really know just how low it is until you snap out of it

PM me if ya want to

Miss Fluff

yadda yadda wrote:

I can't get a girlfriend as any who interest me (and they are FEW and far between) seem not interested. I feel awful. I hate myself. Hate hate hate. I like guys aswell, sometimes, but that would never happen..

Why?

LegacyUser

'Thanks all for your words of wisdom.

Change is not as simple as some make it out to be. I can't just get up and go somewhere, I have debts to be paid off. I don't know anything I would like to study in college, I already did 2 years for a diploma in a media field that I don't have much interest in career wise. Besides I don't think I could study or sit tests again.

But you are all right, I have to change, somehow, I keep saying this every week. It will kill me if I don't. I will take the replies here into consideration.This thread may sound like I am some kind of depressive but I'm not really, just a regular guy not knowing what the f*ck he is doing here.

"Miss Fluff" - why what?'

Miss Fluff

You say you like guys too. Why wouldn't you go there?

LegacyUser

I don't want to go into it, I don't know why I mentioned it. I guess just to affirm it to myself? So I find some guys and some girls equally attractive.

Realistically though I would "go after" girls.

I find though that whenever I see someone I am really into, which is rare enough, I don't do anything. I get scared. Maybe a chat, some eye contact, but I cannot go further. It is because I have no confidence. It really sucks, and was one of the reasons for the original post. But that's just life. I cannot control my emotions.

I was really into someone a few years back, but this was a great friend, hung around with them all the time, played games, slept over, went on holidays etc. and while it was great, not showing (or being able to show) my feelings was hell on earth. Five years later and I still can't say I'm over it.

Miss Fluff

You should definitley go travelling and see the world, it will enrich you as a human being. You can always defer your debt repayments for a few months. You'll never do anything if you continue to make excuses. Just as you have to decide to DO things, you also have to decide NOT to. If you want to change your life, you have the power to do it.