Your opinions

shabaz

Hi all, just wana speak to whoever may be listening, i just broke up with my bf of 5 years, on tuesday a very hard week for me as i just started my new job and we also were meant to be going to london to our friends for a party he is gone i am sitting at home crying every 10 minutes, we have a holiday booked for next sunday week which now also wont be going...im just so upset, basically he is younger than me and didnt want to make any commitment, but what caused the initial break up was i found he had been subscribing to a erotic email thing sending erotic emails to whoever so i freaked out, as he had done something similar to this last year so this was too much for me to handle. I feel he has taken this all so easy, im annoyed that if as he said he has'nt had love for me over the last 5 months why did he me go on about booking holidays and so on, just wana hear so guys advice. He is a few years younger than me also.....

Jesus Wept

Hi Shabaz,

Sounds like he fell out of love, whatever you do don't take it personally, as hard as that might be, It's to do with him rather than you.

Although you feel sh!te now, you will be fine in time.

Electric

I'm really sorry to hear bout your split. Sounds like you're having a really sh*te week. Could you get a friend to go on holidays with you? Just get them to buy out his half of the hol? It sounds like you could do with getting a way for a bit.

About the stuff that he said, personally if it were me and I were hurt (like going through a break up etc) then I would lash out and say things that I wouldn't mean just to try and make them feel as hurt as I did.

ps I presume you've tried the usual ice cream, chocolate etc to try cheer ya up?

shabaz

Would like to hear what guys and girls think on this one. last year my bf gave me an old phone of his and i found an old txt msg that he sent to a girl we both know like looking for txt sex, í went crazy when i found out, was really upset he said he had sent it ages ago when he was away on a stag weekend and that this girl had sent him one once jokingly and thats what made him do it again but was out of it and regreted it, i rang the girl and told her to tell me what was going on she explained that he txt her and she didnt reply fine manage to kinda get over it, then i found an email from some dodgy website where you can send erotic emails to other women again we nearly finished over this and again he had an excuse, role ahead a year futher, tues just gone yes was checking his email cos havent trusted him since, what do i find he has subscribed to the dodgy website and i confronted him, its over basically......does anyone think im over reacting on this one?

LegacyUser

'hi Shabaz,

It's perfectly normal to be really upset right now, and you probably will be for quite a while yet, 5 years is a long time. It sounds like your ex had moved on long before the relationship ended and it's quite unfair to you.
He was probably afraid to move out of the comfort zone of being in a relationship or too lazy to, hence the continuing to let you think you had a future together, the holidays etc. It probably wasn't personal or intentional to string you along, more likely that he was just lazy or not thinking realistically.

I think that in a couple of weeks so should meet up with him and just talk it through, not to get back together (and make that clear to him too) and put all your questions to him. Like I said, 5 years is a long time and you are entitled to closure.'

Danbo!

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Attol

It's basically down to what YOU'RE comfortable with. Everyone has different limits tbh. Nobody else can decide for you.

Cunny-Funt

Depends on the website

spurious

While sending 'dodgy' emails to strangers might not be classed as cheating, you don't trust him.

If you can't trust him, I wouldn't bother with the relationship - it will either go on with you suspecting every phone call, every text, every time he's late home, every time he passes a woman in the street, meets one at work, etc. or you can end it now and write it off as something that would never work. Sooner or later it would either drive you mad or it would end, you may as well get out now.

Then again, if you feel it's worth sticking with, and he seems to like text sex and 'dodgy' emails, maybe you could get him to send them to you instead?

Like Attol said, it's up to you.

jd83

Hi, Sorry to hear about your breakup not a good time especially with starting a new job. I agree with the poster who said you should find someone to buy out the holiday and go with you. After this a holiday is exactly what you need with a good friend for support. I know it hard but in a few weeks you will feel better and things will graulally return to normal. Good luck op

shabaz

Thank you all for replying, ive just got up and read your message s, thinking of him he will be coming back from our friends in london today back at his mams and i just hope in a few days when he's back sitting at home with the ma an da he w, ill realise what a **** up he has done, i am not saying cos i'll take him back, cos the damage is done...still very sad about the whole thing, my face is distorted with all the crying, im sure people are looking at me in the street. Havent been eating which is a good thing nearly at the goal weight..ha drinking is my new friend.
The holiday none of my mater can go, no money, cant get time of work blah blah blah, only person who can go with me is my dad and i dont know if i could spnd a week away with him so, still dont know whether to just go into work, i also booked a holiday for his 30th in nov, arranged everything with his job, ****in wanker!
I had a thought there, could leave a guys shirt and aftershave around the house just to have him wonder if there was someone here at the weekend with me...could be a good idea
Iam gona go to the gym now have'nt been all week, determined to get to size zero! joke!

sunny2004

shabaz wrote:

the initial break up was i found he had been subscribing to a erotic email thing sending erotic emails to whoever so i freaked out, as he had done something similar to this last year so this was too much for me to handle. ....

How did you find out ? does he not have his own email account?

Zillah

Sounds messy and not worth it. Just try to keep busy and move on I'd say.

OT: "Opimions" is my new favourite word.

pretty-in-pink

oh wow, nearly in the same boat. if u wanna talk op, then pm or bebo me!