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help with shyness

  • 08-08-2007 5:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Before anyone asks im 16.
    My problem is that i really want a boyfrind. Im reasonably good looking and never have a problem getting a lad to meet me. The problem is that after i meet them im so overcome with shyness that i cant bear to look at them again!I'll never be able to have a relationship with anyone if i dont overcome this!I know it sounds stupid but i really need help with this. Whats the best way to overcome shyness??


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,421 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Im speaking in general here not just about guys. :D

    You have to force yourself. Grit your teeth and risk blushing and embarrassment and do it anyway. Talk to people, look them in the eye. (Not looking someone in the eye is really offputting for them, it makes you look disinterested.) If its hard, find something to do that you both focus on together. And of course I dont mean stare at em! It may seem very difficult at first, but gets easier with practice. Say to yourself, to hell with it, if they think your silly/mad/boring whatever, at least youll have tried. If you cant think of things to say, ask questions to keep conversation going. Focus on the other person, be interested in them. When it comes to general conversation, it may sound obvious but talk about something that interests you, youll be far more relaxed.

    Ive been where you are. It is possible to beat it. :)


  • #3
    youcancallmeal adf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭youcancallmeal adf


    godhelpme291 wrote:
    Before anyone asks im 16.
    My problem is that i really want a boyfrind. Im reasonably good looking and never have a problem getting a lad to meet me. The problem is that after i meet them im so overcome with shyness that i cant bear to look at them again!I'll never be able to have a relationship with anyone if i dont overcome this!I know it sounds stupid but i really need help with this. Whats the best way to overcome shyness??

    Do something you are scared of on a regular basis

    Same with any fear..

    I never had a problem talking to random people mainly due to the fact that it takes ages for me to see people as potential lovers...
    Maybe you could try just becoming friends... its generally a good idea before you go out with them.


  • #4
    Luckyduck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19 ✭Luckyduck


    Its ok, I remember being like that. When I had to ask a guy to my debs I got so nervous that I fell against a shelf (was working in a supermarket for the summer) and knocked half the stuff off it! But he said yes and turned out to be just as shy as me..took me until around 21 to get over my shyness but I did it and you will too. Just hold you head high, look them in the eye and remember if you start to get shy...just imagine them on the toilet! ;)


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    godhelpme291 wrote:
    My problem is that i really want a boyfrind.

    Ya know, you've hit the nail on the head right there. Your problem IS that you want a boyfriend. You want to commit yourself for an indefinite period of time to someone who is at the moment a theoretical creation in your head. And you want to make it happen instead of let it happen. Just try enjoy your own company and learn to appreciate yourself. The rest will happen automatically.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'Thank you for the replies guys!I must admit its nice to know that im not the only person who feels or felt like this! Anyway Im deffo gonna get out there and just get used to being friends with lads rather than looking at them as boyfriend material...plus I like the thought of scaring myself outta this!
    Thank you so much guys you've been a fab help!:D'


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