vending machine mishaps

The Bollox

if you purchase something from a vending machine and it gets stuck what do you do? I ask because this happened to me just 5 mins ago. I knocked off the machine once, decided it's not really worth the hastle and walked off sulking.

I have seen people completely losing the head when it happens to them and question why they get so worked up. I mean it's only 70 / 80 cent and the purchase would have seen you farther down the fat bastard scale

super_furry

I shake the living **** out of the machine. Rock it back and forth so that loads of crap drops down.

zuutroy

buy another one of the same product and keep it for later, or eat the two if you're a hungry git.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Sometimes there's a phone number on them. If so, then ring up and complain. My brother did it and they sent him out a bank draft for €1!

5starpool

I am either in the shake the sh1t out of it or buy a second one and get the two when they drop camps. It sepends on the type of dislodgement effort that is needed.

Ruu_Old

zuutroy wrote:

buy another one of the same product and keep it for later, or eat the two if you're a hungry git.

Same or get lucky with someone who gives up/gets frustrated before you and you get a freebie.

Smellyirishman

Buy a 2nd.

zuutroy

How annoyed do you get when you buy a 2nd, and only the original drops down?!?!?!

5starpool

zuutroy wrote:

How annoyed do you get when you buy a 2nd, and only the original drops down?!?!?!

When this happens, noone uses the machine after me for a while

jester77

I usually don't have the change for a 2nd bar and the odd time I do it just drops the first bar and the second one remains stuck :mad: So what I usually do is I take a nice long run with a jumping shoulder charge at the end. What either happens is that the chocolate doesn't fall and I walk away cursing and sulking with my head bowed in disdain and a very sore shoulder OR the chocolate falls and I walk a way with a huge grin on my face and the oh so sweet taste of chocolate takes away all that shoulder pain!

markpb

There's usually a badge on them with the name and number of the operator? Pembroke vending operated the machines in DCU when I was there and would regularly post out an apology postcard with a 50p coin (in an envelope obviously) sellotaped to it if you rang and complained.

Rb

Unplug it and take it home.

whiskeyman

Oh, how I get such much glee from finding a half balanced Toffee Crisp ready to drop once I order the one behind it, or a bag of crisps from up above...

Happened to me the odd time, and I'd just get another and save for later.
I don't understand people that just walk away though. You paid for it you fools!
It's like going into a shop, asking for a mars bar, handing over the money and then the shop assistant just staring you blankly after he's kept your dosh. Grab him and shake him for all he's worth goddamnit!!!! eh, I mean phone up the company and get yer money back...

ehem...

I-like-eggs,mmm

There was a great vending machine when I used to be school... it had a sensor on it, so if nothing dropped down, you got another chance- therefore 2 for 1- yaaaay!!

Or we used to get our rulers out (like a pack of savages, no doubt) and flick it up under the flap in hope to release a nice pack of hunky dory crisps

Naos

I used to work in a place that had vending machines.

The most efficient method I found for getting a stuck sweet out, was using my palms and hitting the top of the machine(Spot X) until it rolled back a wee bit, and just as it came forward, hit it again.

See diagram:
_____________
|--x

---

x-|
|ooooooooooo|
|ooooooooooo|
|ooooooooooo|
|ooooooooooo|
|___________|

Generally this got it out in one/two shots. Much better than just shaking the machine.

Edit: Possibly the most effort I've put into a post, ever.

phasers

they had ones in my school that always stuck

I had a great little business of shaking the machine for people
made about a tenner a week

sunnyjim

Years back, I was playing in the National Concert Hall...
There was a vending machine in the players bar, beside the dressing rooms. It would drop lucozade if given enough bash. I have plenty of bash in me, so, I was coming away with tons of lucozade. Robin Hood I was!

_Kaiser_

There was a drinks vending machine in my old job that every so often would spew out two cans for the price of one, but the best time was when it gave me 2 cans AND €3.50 in change back.. not bad for 80c

weemcd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-5G3am9b34

absolute fúcking classic^
thought of it instantly when i saw this thread. Brilliant ep, appreciated it on a second level after reading streetcar in class.

worst mishap was in school when you could reach in and grab anything from the bottom two rows of the machine cos it was broke. After it had been raided (2 minutes) i decided to reach for the higher levels with my ruler. Genius i thought, of course i dropped the ruler and it was stuck inside the machine with my name and class on it.


ahhh. the good aul days....

/edit why did the imbed not work? when i embedded it it just showed a white box

Terry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-5G3am9b34

ctc_celtic

at work on Saturday, a fella comes up and say " i put money in the vending machine but the door wont open" had to tell him that you don't open the door, you just put in the item code and it drops out.
we had a good laugh at him:D

Naos

He must have said that for a dare, idiot.

A way to get free cans from a machine, is to get 2/3 lads and tip the machine towards (So the buttons, coin slot etc. face the ground) until it reaches about a 30* angle. The cans fall forward and when it's positioned back upright you can collect some free cans

ctc_celtic

Mear wrote:

He must have said that for a dare, idiot.

no, was a man in his early 40's with 3 youngish kids. just a moron.

Timmins

Hahah brilliant in 3rd year we had a complete pushover of a teacher for history so we'd regularly turn up 20minutes late for the 40minute classes with some bullshít excuse, e.g. "we couldnt' find the class"

One day anyway i tried to buy a lucozade sport from the vending machine which is in a rather secluded spot in the corridor, and nothing happened. The lads were informed, and 3 or 4 of us started shaking the shít out of it until 10+ bottles came out. The teacher didn't notice anything amiss when we finally arrived in with about 5 bottles each!

Another guy in 6th year and his friends leaned the vending machine over like you suggested, but they dropped it and the perspex on the front shattered. Suspension anyone ?

Pompey Magnus

A few years ago I was in a mood for a Kinder Bueno, so I went to the nearby vending machine and popped in 1 Euro, but it got stuck a few inches in, I could still see it but couldn't get it out. I then had the bright idea of dropping in a 20c coin to knock the euro in, it moved it slightly but not enough to get it to fall. I then started adding any random coins that I had in my pocket to form a chain so I could force the original euro down, and then collect them afterwards as it gives back the change. Even this didn't work, so I was left looking at about e1.50 stuck in the slot that I couldn't get out or push in and no Kinder Bueno .

The Bollox

wow! you must have REALLY wanted that Kinder Bueno

Nailz

Yio! Another great post by the Bollox!

The Bollox

Nailz wrote:

Yio! Another great post by the Bollox!

don't patronise me, boy! *waggles finger menacingly*

Nailz

Shant I repeat my last post???

The Bollox

:eek: you wouldn't DARE!

I'm so tempted to quote Sam L. Jackson's 'dare you' rant from Pulp Fiction

Nailz

Go on, I'd like to hear that rant again... then I'll decide to dare... or NOT to dare...

Pompey Magnus

The Bollox wrote:

wow! you must have REALLY wanted that Kinder Bueno

It was more the principle that I was worried about, I didn't want to leave empty handed and minus a Euro, so I stubbornly stuck at it. In the end it didn't pay off, but at least I tried Goddamn it, at least I did that.

The Bollox

Nailz wrote:

Go on, I'd like to hear that rant again... then I'll decide to dare... or NOT to dare...

Jules: what does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brad: what?
Jules: what country you from?
Brad: what?
Jules: 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of, do they speak English in 'What'?
Brad: w-what?
Jules: ENGLISH! MOTHER-F*CKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?
Brad: yes!
Jules: then tell me, what does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brad: *shakes head* what?
Jules: SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN! just say 'what' one more god damn time. I dare you, I double dare you, mother f*cker, just say what one more god-damn time!
Brad: he's, he's black!
Jules: go on!
Brad: he's bald...
Jules: does he look like a bitch?
Brad: what?
*jules shoot him in the knee (I think) it could be the shoulder tho*

that was all from memory btw

passive

I've been thinking for a while that my 1000th post should be something worthy, perhaps even a little epic. This, I believe, is a worthwhile opportunity.

A few months back I was involved in the UCD assassins game and, of course, carrying a variety of weapons around with me for killing/defending myself. In the course of my wanderings I noticed a vending machine with 2 bottles of 7up wedged against the glass (first had become stuck, a second had been sent to fetch it and become more stuck) at the very bottom of the machine.

I set about reaching into the machine with one of my V for Vendetta daggers http://www.anniescostumes.com/ru6887.jpg and attempting to knock them down. This failed and caused (edit :P) slight injury to my forearm, due to the distance involved and the clever design of the machine. Defiantly, I went to the Services Desk and borrowed a roll of sellotape, which I used to join the tips of two daggers in a string-like fashion. Using my new dagger-sellotape-nunchuks, I reached in and spent a few minutes attempting to throw one dagger over the bottles.

Finally, after much effort and many comments from passers-by (friends and strangers alike) I hooked the bottle, reached in with my other hand and took hold of both daggers, pulled down with the sellotape-rope and liberated two deliciously free 7up bottles for myself and a friend...

Huzzah.

The Bollox

passive wrote:

I've been thinking for a while that my 1000th post should be something worthy, perhaps even a little epic. This, I believe, is a worthwhile opportunity.

A few months back I was involved in the UCD assassins game and, of course, carrying a variety of weapons around with me for killing/defending myself. In the course of my wanderings I noticed a vending machine with 2 bottles of 7up wedged against the glass (first had become stuck, a second had been sent to fetch it and become more stuck) at the very bottom of the machine.

I set about reaching into the machine with one of my V for Vendetta daggers http://www.anniescostumes.com/ru6887.jpg and attempting to knock them down. This failed and caused much injury to my forearm, due to the distance involved and the clever design of the machine. Defiantly, I went to the Services Desk and borrowed a roll of sellotape, which I used to join the tips of two daggers in a string-like fashion. Using my new dagger-sellotape-nunchuks, I reached in and spent a few minutes attempting to throw one dagger over the bottles.

Finally, after much effort and many comments from passers-by (friends and strangers alike) I hooked the bottle, reached in with my other hand and took hold of both daggers, pulled down with the sellotape-rope and liberated two deliciously free 7up bottles for myself and a friend...

Huzzah.

well ok, you saved about €3 on the 7up, but how much did the plasters and sterilising fluid for your forearm cost? was it worth it?

passive

Editted... There was no serious injury or breaking of skin from the initial attempt, worry not. And it was worth it either way, for something to tell my grandkids...

The Bollox

it's strange how your handle is Passive, and yet you are the only one so far to attack a vending machine with knives

CantGetNoSleep

yeah we do this where i work, you have to make sure the vending machine osnt completely pinned up against the wall though

Nailz

The Bollox wrote:

Jules: what does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brad: what?
Jules: what country you from?
Brad: what?
Jules: 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of, do they speak English in 'What'?
Brad: w-what?
Jules: ENGLISH! MOTHER-F*CKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?
Brad: yes!
Jules: then tell me, what does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brad: *shakes head* what?
Jules: SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN! just say 'what' one more god damn time. I dare you, I double dare you, mother f*cker, just say what one more god-damn time!
Brad: he's, he's black!
Jules: go on!
Brad: he's bald...
Jules: does he look like a bitch?
Brad: what?
*jules shoot him in the knee (I think) it could be the shoulder tho*

that was all from memory btw

Oooh, all from memory I'm impressed!

Oh yeah, almost forgot... Yet again another great post by the Bollox!

Pigman II

Most people believe that when a vending machine fails to drop the food into the trough that it is somehow down to bad engineering or perhaps careless item placement by the vending technician.

The reality of the situation tho is that they are fitted with hi-tech imaging devices that gauge how fat of a bastard you are and then deny you your munchies on the hope you'll take a hint, piss off and go get some salad.

thefinalstage

Pigman II wrote:

Most people believe that when a vending machine fails to drop the food into the trough that it is somehow down to bad engineering or perhaps careless item placement by the vending technician.

The reality of the situation tho is that they are fitted with hi-tech imaging devices that gauge how fat of a bastard you are and then deny you your munchies on the hope you'll take a hint, piss off and go get some salad.

Wow, the vending machines must really hate you than?

Philush

saw a chinese fella in coll once havin a full on punch up with the machine.went on for bout five mins,he didnt get his money or the food.was priceless to watch

Pigman II

thelastangryman wrote:

Wow, the vending machines must really hate you than?

Not really as they are incapable of emotion. They just carry out their work without it ever becoming personal.

Mahatma coat

there used tbe secluded ending machines all overcollege whenI was a student, one day I went to get a can of coke and noticed thatthe coin slot had jammed and the the 50p was just siting there, just insde the lip of the slot, so I whipped out me SwissArmyKnife andfished it out, theni noticed a few more 50p's and pound coins that were just as accessible so I had them too,

this planted an idea in my head that I ran with for the remainder of my time in college, whenever the aul funds got low I would jam a few of the vending machines in the busier corridors around lunchtime and collectwhen the coast was clear, got very good at discretley removing the coinage from the machines and would average about 25 quid off 3 machines in an hour

always a handysource of cash for pool and currychips

godtabh

In college while studying for my finals one of the lads figuered out how to get free Lucozade from the vending machine.

He never told us till we had finished but he used to appear with 5 or 6 bottles at a time.

He had a good little trick. Turns out he did a summer work placement with the company who makes/sells the vending machines and he knew all the different flaws

Any time the vending machines dont work for me its just karma catching up on me casue of that.

thebman

I saw a fat basturd beating the crap out of a vending machine trying to get his bar. Must have gone at it for about 5 minutes. He got it in the end, I just thought he was a psycho.

cold_filter

Philush wrote:

saw a chinese fella in coll once havin a full on punch up with the machine.went on for bout five mins,he didnt get his money or the food.was priceless to watch

I had a similar experience with a nigerian guy i worked with, he craved starburt joosters, the machine didnt drop the first pack and so he put in another euro and it still didnt drop he proceeded to try and lift it up... not happening. He then proceeded to eric cantona style kung fu kick the glass... pricessless. Even thoigh it was plasted it cut his leg up pretty bad, he took all of the joosters a bottle of coke and a packet of hunky dorys and walked away as if nothing happened. All this while ina building with 1300 people with about 1200 wtching him!