Toilet Cubicle Etiquette

irlirishkev

Inspired by the 'Phones in the toilet' thread..

In my office, the jacks has three cubicles. When I go to take a dump, I pick one of the cubicles at either end. This means that if someone else comes in, they can use the other end, and the two of us can dump in relevant peace.

Why then is it, that some people wander in to the jacks, and pick the middle cubicle, while the other end cubicle is free?? Do some people like the sensation of crapping close to someone else who is also taking a crap?

Please someone enlighten me!

Anto McC

Kinda like the urinal thread i started a while back. Two lads where i work regularly use the ones beside each other so when they are finished reading their respective newspapers they swap over. They pass them underneath the divide.

Smellyirishman

Knowing that the majority of people will pick an end cubicle, the clever cubicle user will slip into the rarely used middle box, no doubt filled with fresh butt wipe and lacking the potent odor of the cubicles at either extremity.

This approach has the added bonus of scaring away other users such as the OP, as once they see the center cubicle is in use they may "call back later" leaving the center-shiter in peace and quiet.

Hopefully it's the cleanest as being the least used...

not relevant where I work as there is only one cubicle.

Greenman

Why do the Irish urinals not have a seperation piece between which keep everyone apart. In Belgium its standard.

downyfluff

Greenman wrote:

Why do the Irish urinals not have a seperation piece between which keep everyone apart. In Belgium its standard.

Because Belgians have small penises. :cool:

Rb

I dunno but if it happens to me I just start playing my "cool new ringtones" over, and over, and over.

irlirishkev

Remember in 'I'm Alan Partridge', when he gets in the lift in the hotel, and this guy gets in with him, and starts chuckling for no reason.. Remember Alan's reaction? That's me, when some bloke picks the middle cubicle when they could have chosen the furthest away, and starts farting/pooing/stinking right beside me.

aequinoctium

Remember in 'I'm Alan Partridge', when he gets in the lift in the hotel, and this guy gets in with him, and starts chuckling for no reason.. Remember Alan's reaction?

alan partridge expressions can be used for everything -- he's great

Greenman

downyfluff wrote:

Because Belgians have small penises. :cool:

How do you know?

Anto McC

Because he's outside your window right now - have a look.

Peyton Manning

rb_ie wrote:

I dunno but if it happens to me I just start playing my "cool new ringtones" over, and over, and over.

Ill never be allowed live this down will I..

FlutterinBantam

Jeeeebus ,why are people so hung up about the natural movements!!!

When I go for a dump I deliberately pick a closet beside one occupied,bang in the door slam, down the seat, unbuckle the strides as noisily as possible and with an audible sigh or relief splat the arse cheeks on the shítter.

Cue some heavy straining and audible effort,grunting and the like.

With a bit of luck a loud scutthery fart will precede the "pace car " and then I just exert full pressure and shoot the lot into the pan as noisily as possible.
A "jaysus,glad to get rid of that fcukin load" muttering will round the thing off.

Up and out,proud as punch,and look anyone who emerges from the other bog straight in the eye and say"That fookin Chinee I had last night had me bound up in knots-glad to get rid of her"

thefinalstage

People are too damn sensitive these days. Its a toilet, the people next to you don't have x-ray vision and are doing the same thing.

And no Archimedes you won't.