Parental issues.

LegacyUser

Registered gone unregistered for this post

Im 16. Have issues with my parents.

Basically we do not get along in various scenarios. While I know they are probably proud of my acheivements, I get little support. I never get asked how I feel. Some days it does be obvious I am depressed. Yet they never talk to me about it. I dont trust talking to them about anything "personal", for reasons I wont go into

I am afraid to ask them for a lift out anywhere. I get interrogated who Im going with, what ill be doing and so on. Stupid of me not to request transport as I have put off several social gatherings because I know parents are going to be tired after work, and so on.

The height of the issue is family holidays. We are due to go away again shortly. I just cannot stand holidays with them. Being on my own, every day, with nothing to do. Then they tell me to "enjoy myself" and that I am "ungrateful". After this summer I am not going on holidays with them anymore.

I have contacted the samaritans...

Help. Before I do something stupid.

barrett1965

distressedguy wrote:

I get interrogated who Im going with, what ill be doing and so on.

Hi,

I'm sure your parents just want to know that your safe and that you don't fall in with the wrong crowd.

challengemaster

distressedguy wrote:

Im 16. Have issues with my parents.

most teens do...

Basically we do not get along in various scenarios. While I know they are probably proud of my acheivements, I get little support. I never get asked how I feel. Some days it does be obvious I am depressed. Yet they never talk to me about it. I dont trust talking to them about anything "personal", for reasons I wont go into

well.. why dont you raise the issue with them? sometimes most teens will go through 'depression' stages, etc. its common, and just a part of growing up for many. hormones and all that, weird effects.. etc. if you're worried you're depressed talk to your GP. and most teens do not talk to their parents about personal things. infact, far from. from about the age of 13+ most nearly cut off the parental strings attached in that sense. Nobody really wants their parents knowing their business, fairly common.

I am afraid to ask them for a lift out anywhere. I get interrogated who Im going with, what ill be doing and so on. Stupid of me not to request transport as I have put off several social gatherings because I know parents are going to be tired after work, and so on.

well.. i dont really see why you're afraid to ask. the worst that could happen is they'll say no. if they do, try organise some other form of transport. there's no point in missing out on it. if you really want to go then why is this stopping you? edit: whats said above is totally true. they're only concerned about your safety. you go missing and they dont know where you are.. y'know...

The height of the issue is family holidays. We are due to go away again shortly. I just cannot stand holidays with them. Being on my own, every day, with nothing to do. Then they tell me to "enjoy myself" and that I am "ungrateful". After this summer I am not going on holidays with them anymore.

I think the reason they leave you to enjoy yourself, on your own, is because they know you dont want to hang around with them doing boring things that someone their age might like, but someone your age might not. by leaving you to do your own thing, then atleast you've some chance of doing what you like instead of being dragged with them doing something you'll more than likely hate. if you get me... if you dont like going on holi's with them, then go by yourself, or organise something with a few mates, or something. personally, i went to the US to relatives when i was 13('rents didnt come) and i've never had as much fun on holidays tbh. got to do things *I* liked, and that i wanted to do.

I have contacted the samaritans...

Help. Before I do something stupid.

well, atleast you're going about things the right way, talking to people etc.

All i can say is, dont do something stupid, because you're not the only one that'll regret it after. family, friends, etc.. the things you dont think about until its too late..

imo, raise the issue and talk to your parents or someone you trust about whats bothering you. if you keep it bottled up inside then nobody will know whats wrong, or how to help. and the best of luck.

btw. I'm 16 too...

~nop~

distressedguy wrote:

Registered gone unregistered for this post

Im 16. Have issues with my parents.

Basically we do not get along in various scenarios. While I know they are probably proud of my acheivements, I get little support. I never get asked how I feel. Some days it does be obvious I am depressed. Yet they never talk to me about it. I dont trust talking to them about anything "personal", for reasons I wont go into

I am afraid to ask them for a lift out anywhere. I get interrogated who Im going with, what ill be doing and so on. Stupid of me not to request transport as I have put off several social gatherings because I know parents are going to be tired after work, and so on.

The height of the issue is family holidays. We are due to go away again shortly. I just cannot stand holidays with them. Being on my own, every day, with nothing to do. Then they tell me to "enjoy myself" and that I am "ungrateful". After this summer I am not going on holidays with them anymore.

I have contacted the samaritans...

Help. Before I do something stupid.

Heya! I'm 17, and put up with I'm sure a lot of the same stuff as you from my parents. Everytime I go out it's an interrogation, and I get calls continuously when I'm out checking I'm ok, etc. Personally I find it's best to humour them though. Let them know where you're going, or at least an edited version or where you're going, and let them feel that they're doing the right thing letting you go. If you're not going to answer the calls when you're out, make sure your excuse involves your phone being on silent, like the cinema, or a concert where you can't hear it.

It also helps to make them feel that they're "in touch" with you. Be friendly. Ask them how their day went. Make the first move. Getting them in a good mood means you'll get away with more. You said they give you no support, but they probably feel the same from you.

A serious issue here though is the depression. If this is serious depression, and not just hormone stuff, you should really let them know, and try and get help for it. Your letting them know should preferably be in a calm, rational way, rather than a fight or anything. This way they will see it is a serious issue and hopefully get you help.

Your last issue is the "family holiday", and let me assure you that everybody upon everybody hates these. However, you just have to grin and bear it unfortunatly, and be glad that this is your last one.

You say that you might do something stupid. Why bother though? They're your parents. They're people you put up with, and hopefully who you will get along with in the future, but surely you have more going on in your life than them.

Man, as a 20 year old male who has parent difficulties, all I can say is that they will pass. My advice to you would be to express these feelings into something productive. For example, if your parents are being ignorant of you're feelings, then channel that into something good. Develop yourself through art, meditation, socialising. True happiness lies within, I'm finding these days. One day everyone realises that their parents are just human beings, with faults and blindness to their children. But it's okay, y'know.

Just hold in there. From your post, you seem like a smart guy. And that will stand to you.