What would you do?

Glowing · 31-07-2007 9:18am #1

What would you do?

You're flying to the other side of the world to be bridesmaid for your friends wedding. This is costing you the guts of 2 grand.

Do you or do you not purchase a wedding present?

sonners · 31-07-2007 9:20am

I'm flying across the world for my brothers wedding, its costing me the guts of 2 grand (and more) and he will NOT be getting a wedding present. My presence will be his present

The Bollox · 31-07-2007 9:22am

get them a few scratchies

don't pay more than you can afford. it's not your fault you have to pay 2 grand to go to the wedding

hot fuss · 31-07-2007 9:27am

That's a toughy.. It's nice to give something to commemorate the big day, but at the same time 2 grand seems to be enough to spend really.

Depends on what you can afford I guess.. I don't think they'd be mad with you if you didn't get them anything though - they've no right to be.

Terry · 31-07-2007 9:29am

€100 in a card.
That goes for any wedding, whether in Ireland or abroad.

On reflection, are they putting you up?
If they are, then get a present (see above), if not then no present for them.

Karl Hungus · 31-07-2007 9:31am

It matters not what we would do. The real question is, what would MacGyver do?

Glowing · 31-07-2007 9:32am

Terry wrote:

€100 in a card.
That goes for any wedding, whether in Ireland or abroad.

On reflection, are they putting you up?
If they are, then get a present (see above), if not then no present for them.

No they're not. We're renting a place for a week .....

Terry · 31-07-2007 9:34am

Screw it then.
No more soup for them.

Unpossible · 31-07-2007 9:36am

Karl Hungus wrote:

The real question is, what would MacGyver do?

Build a present out of everyday household items, held together by chewing gum, tape and elastic bands?

sonners · 31-07-2007 9:38am

if it helps, I know my brother and his bride-to-be are'nt expecting any presents from anyone who is travelling to the wedding. Like your situation we're all making our own arrangements and paying our own way. Its gonna cost me around 2,500 in all, alot more than I would've been spending on a present!

hshortt · 31-07-2007 9:40am

make a card, get some crayons, fluff, and multicoloured paper

Depends if you can afford the present or not.

Cheers

Kinetic^ · 31-07-2007 9:40am

Get them nowt. If they say anything about it tell them to get fcuked!!!

phasers · 31-07-2007 9:43am

get them a tesco value toaster

10 quid, you can't go wrong

jester77 · 31-07-2007 9:46am

Create or getting them something that would have a meaning between the 2 of you, wouldn't have to cost much. Think back through the good moments ye had together and pick out something that would remind her of that or create a scrapbook with pictures of all the memories ye shared together, and so on... just takes a little imagination and costs little to nothing!

dodgyme · 31-07-2007 9:50am

Well no body has asked what do you mean about half way around the world. Basically is the wedding in Europe or on another continent.? that makes a big difference.

If it is in europe due to the fact that the cost of flights would be alot less and you have the option of going as part of a holiday or going for one night, I think a small present when you get back would be a good idea. If the wedding is further a field the cost of flights goes up and the option of staying for only one night etc is a non runner, I would not think you should be obliged to give a wedding present when you return. Perhaps a small "token" present to the bride since you are the bridesmaid is enough. REmember you did have a choice in turning the job down also or not going.:)

spurious · 31-07-2007 9:56am

She's your friend.

I would say yes to a present. Maybe not a madly expensive one, but then good presents don't have to be.

Glowing · 31-07-2007 10:00am

spurious wrote:

She's your friend.

I would say yes to a present. Maybe not a madly expensive one, but then good presents don't have to be.

Yeah I was thinking along those lines myself - the question is what though! The wedding is in Australia.

Terry · 31-07-2007 10:08am

Glowing wrote:

Yeah I was thinking along those lines myself - the question is what though! The wedding is in Australia.

A dingo.

Fratton Fred · 31-07-2007 10:12am

get her some duty free on the aeroplane. Most wedding presents are **** anyway so something they can drink or smoke would be better received.

Glowing · 31-07-2007 10:15am

Fratton Fred wrote:

Most wedding presents are **** anyway so something they can drink or smoke would be better received.

You sound a bit bitter, did you get a dingo or a 10 euro Tesco Toaster?

davyjose · 31-07-2007 10:18am

Oh No, I'm being forced to go on an extended vacation. My friends are such selfish ****ers. Poor me. Whinge whinge whinge.
Don't buy them a present if you don't want, but really its just embarrassing not to.

Glowing · 31-07-2007 10:25am

davyjose wrote:

Oh No, I'm being forced to go on an extended vacation. My friends are such selfish ****ers. Poor me. Whinge whinge whinge.
Don't buy them a present if you don't want, but really its just embarrassing not to.

I didn't whinge once. Get a life.

Terry · 31-07-2007 10:28am

Stfu

Karl Hungus · 31-07-2007 10:30am

Unpossible wrote:

Build a present out of everyday household items, held together by chewing gum, tape and elastic bands?

Exactly!

Huggles · 31-07-2007 10:31am

Glowing wrote:

What would you do?

You're flying to the other side of the world to be bridesmaid for your friends wedding. This is costing you the guts of 2 grand.

Do you or do you not purchase a wedding present?

Jaysis you'd think they'd help you with costs. Cheeky.

I'd say no pressie.

dodgyme · 31-07-2007 12:30pm

If the wedding is in Oz. I think you being there is enough of a pressie. If it was italy or spain I think something appropriate could be given. Different continent,.. no present needed. Its like these people who have parties after they come back. Basically saying you weren't at the wedding but buy me a present. My motto is "No spuds, no goods"

Jumpy · 31-07-2007 12:40pm

Terry wrote:

A dingo.

Dont be stupid. A dingo is not a wedding present.

Its for anniversaries only

Fratton Fred · 31-07-2007 12:47pm

Glowing wrote:

You sound a bit bitter, did you get a dingo or a 10 euro Tesco Toaster?

I pay €50 euros a head for a meal, then buy people loads of wine and beer and they get me a ten uro toaster, great:rolleyes:

Fad · 31-07-2007 12:51pm

NO ONES SAID IT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........

get them YORE MA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(i finally get to say,and in the most ridiculous out if context way ever)

Zapp Brannigan · 31-07-2007 1:05pm

Karl Hungus wrote:

It matters not what we would do. The real question is, what would MacGyver do?

Screw that! What would Raptor Jesus do?

31-07-2007 1:36pm

Get them a llama. Everyone needs a llama.

BaZmO* · 31-07-2007 2:09pm

Glowing wrote:

Yeah I was thinking along those lines myself - the question is what though! The wedding is in Australia.

Ah well in the case, a six pack of Tayto. They'll love you for it.

Tar.Aldarion · 31-07-2007 2:34pm

You are spending a few grand, a hundred or two more isn't much of a difference.

Cheese Princess · 31-07-2007 2:44pm

I have just been in your exact situation.

Flew to Sydney to be bridesmaid to best pal. My boyfriend and I had been thinking of going there for a holiday anyway so I suppose I didn't feel as if I was only going for the wedding.

We spent a week in Sydney where the bride and groom brought us out for dinner a couple of times (about 20 people flew from Ireland). Then the whole group went to the Whitsundays for a week. Bride and groom paid for us to do a sailing trip as a thank you for coming over etc.

She also paid for my bridesmaids dress, hair, make-up, the usual.

My boyfriend and I gave them a gift cheque for $300AUD. I figured after spending so much on getting there etc, it didn't really make that much difference. And they were packing up all their stuff and going travelling for 6 months so there wasn't any point buying an actual gift.

I would say give them something - it's not that much out of your pocket in the long run.

31-07-2007 2:45pm

Tell them it was in a seperate bag with makey up belongings that you are also devastated about loosing/having robbed on you as you travelled all the way around the world for their happy day! problem solved

sonners · 31-07-2007 2:51pm

thats fair enough Tar but in my opinion a grand or two is too much to have to spend in the first place. I know the OP could have turned down the invite to the wedding but when it comes to close friends and family its very hard to say no.

Unfortunately some people just look at the price of gettin married at home versus the price of doing it abroad and decide its cheaper to go abroad, without necessarily considering the huge cost they may be putting on their guests. Like the OP the wedding I'm attending is in another continent (USA), so its very hard to go on the cheap. Flights are 1000 minimum and going for under 5 days is just not possible, at least if it were Europe you would have the choice of doing it on a budget or splashing out.

To the OP: I had months of debating wether or not I would get my brother a present. It came down to two options:
a) Get something small, 50-100 Euro as a token present.
b) Get nothing.
I know that might sound stingy but I'm young, not long out of college, a few grand is ALOT of money to me. I eventually decided that I wont be getting them a present, I just did'nt see the point in spending 50 Euro just for the sake of spending it. I know my sister-in-law-to-be wont be too impressed with this but at the end of the day I know my brother would prefer me to be there than to stay at home so I could buy them a present :rolleyes:

What would you do?

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