some opinions needed

LegacyUser

Hi, i could use some opinions here, from girls and guys.

Me and my mate were out at a bar and we met a group of people (3 girls & 1 guy)....we got talking to them and we all ended up back in my mates flat for a drink or two and a bit of craic, anyway nothing really happened, i got a bit friendly with one of the girls (no kissing or anything) and so did my mate with one of the other girls, again nothing happened that night we just swapped numbers and said goodbye.

We got in contact again and we bought them out to a party 2 weeks later, me and my mate both scored with the 2 girls that we got friendly with the previous night, all good!

Now i had to head home (diff county) the next day and the thing was i had very important exams coming up 3 weeks later, i told the girl about them, and that i wouldnt be around for a couple of weeks, which was cool, but we arranged to meet up on the saturday week.

So i got stuck into my study at this point big time and neglected to make contact with her (this is the bad part), my mate ended up meeting the girls on that saturday that id arranged to go out with them, and for want of a better term, "my one" asked him where i was (she assumed i was gonna be there) and was dissappointed when he told her i wasnt around.

I didnt make contact with her again for a week and half after that when i sent her a txt asking what she was up to for the weekend, she said she had plans and wouldnt be about, and left it at that. That was the weekend just gone there.

So thats where i'm at, i think shes pissed off that 1) i didnt make any contact for 3 weeks & 2) i didnt show up that saturday night when i said i would. Oh and also my mate told her friend that he just wanted to be friends - another complication.

So what would you do in this situation? Call obviously....but say what? (i have a fair idea, just want some opinions)

thanks!

just be cool, play her a bit, honest aswell. girls like when guys dont make a big fuss, just pay attention to her and bridge the gap that time has created.

PeakOutput

"im really sorry for standing you up and it won't happen again i do rally like you but things jsut got on top of me that weekend" would be a good place to start

David Lynch wrote:

just be cool, play her a bit, honest aswell. girls like when guys dont make a big fuss, just pay attention to her and bridge the gap that time has created.

i dont know man girls tend to hold a grudge about things like getting stood up

Talliesin

"Sorry" might be a good idea.

Make sure you don't miss any arranged dates in the near future.

aye

would it really have been so much hassle to send a text and say i cant make it sorry, just stuck doing my study.
that would have avoided all of this.

you have some apologising to do mate.
do ring tho, no texts anymore, you need to talk to her properly.

boffin

From her perspective you prob have come across as not interested or that you are just interested in getting in touch when it suits. I know you were busy but you should have texted her and let her know you couldn't make it. You have expected her to hang around for you for three weeks with no/little contact at all.

Give her a call and apologise, ask her out on a date - which you have already thought about - for example I was wondering if you were free for dinner, I was thinking of maybe x or y. That at least shows that you have put a bit of effort in and some thought into the date. If you are interested, I wouldn't go for just a drink as you have some lost ground to make up.

milkerman

Dont' text her.
You were rude in not keeping to arrangements you made. You should pay all your friends the common courtesy of being reasonably punctual and following through on appointments you make. You had other things on your mind but could still have made a phone call. I find it ok to chat by text, apologies should be done in person or by phone if you really mean it.

If you want to go further with this lady I suggest you ring her in person and apologise. What the hell, have a bouquet of flowers delivered to her with an apology attached. It sounds to me she was interested in you, she might well be worth the effort.

Miss Fluff

aye wrote:

would it really have been so much hassle to send a text and say i cant make it sorry, just stuck doing my study.

Indeed. Just phone her and arrange to hook up just the two of you.

Oh, and turn up.

SarahSassy

After 3 weeks I wouldnt entertain you at all... It takes 10 seconds to send a text and tell her you are busy..... Not all women like the chase and I think this girl has made up her mind about you already..

Dont leave the next girl sitting for 3 weeks. - its bad manner as well as showing no interest.

Collie D

Have to agree with the ladies on this one I'm afraid. A simple text would have been no hassle at all evenif just to say you were studying hard and couldn't do anything or even to say a random hi. The girl obvioulsy got fed up. By all means give her a bell and apologise but if she says no I wouldn't push it.

King of Kings

it takes 2 secs for a text - no exam study will get in the way of that.
I'm a bloke but if a girl did that to me - that would be he end of it.
I can only assume girls would be the same.
the fact you didn't text her for almost 2 weeks after - shows you in a really bad light. based on that fact alone (i'm aware i don't know you) i think she is better off without you

Shanda

SarahSassy wrote:

After 3 weeks I wouldnt entertain you at all... It takes 10 seconds to send a text and tell her you are busy..... Not all women like the chase and I think this girl has made up her mind about you already..

Dont leave the next girl sitting for 3 weeks. - its bad manner as well as showing no interest.

Agreed. First impressions are everything.

LegacyUser

'thanks for your thoughts everyone!

things are rosy now, i didnt make a big issue out of it, just explained i was balls to the wall cramming for my exams....ill be more punctual in the future!'