Will i just pack it all in?

LegacyUser

I am in a job that I really dislike at the moment. I moved form Dublin to Cork for it about 5months back and just can’t get into the job. Plus I can’t say I’m mad on the place (sorry but I have tried). All my friends and my girlfriend of 4 years are back home (I’m missing her so much and its such a strain getting home on Fridays and so depressing going back on Sundays and I can only do this every 2 weeks as I have to work some weekends). In general I’m just not liking it like I thought I would.

So my friends in Dub just finished college this year and are going to Aus for 3 months at the end of September. I still have the chance to go and its something I’ve always wanted to do. Luckily the job is well paying and thus I have the funds to be just able to go. My GF won’t go though as she’s not into traveling or being away from her family or friends.

I just need a bit of advice here, do you think I should go? My job is a really good job money wise and that I only have to work 35hours a week, but I really dislike it. But I’ve only been in it 5months and would feel a failure leaving it. Plus it means not seeing my GF for 3 months, if she went to Aus with me, I’d be gone like a shot and not even think twice about this place.

But I want to get out of Cork (it’s a great place but just not for me, I love Dublin and want to go back!) and a great time in Aus could lie before me with my best friends, in which I know I’ll have a great time.

Last year I went to the US for 3 months – the GF wouldn’t come with me she’s not really into traveling, the complete opposite of me so I went without her and although it was tough, we survived. I had the best time ever and didn’t regret going even though it put me into a bit of debt and I missed my GF for a few months. I know if I didn’t go id probably regret it, but career wise it may not be the best move for me. My job is quite sought after and it could be difficult to get one like it in Dub, but I don’t really like it and am thinking of taking my career a different route anyway.

It’s a bit of a dilemma for me and I’m considering both options (staying here or going to Aus). If I went, I could come back and get a job in Dublin and even if it was lower paying it would suit me down to the ground to be back with my girlfriend.

Can I have your opinions and thoughts? I’m really confused by it all. Whatever I do I have to move fast, as the flight is 22nd September and I’ve to give a months notice, but I’d like to spend a few weeks with my gf before I go. Decisions decisions

seamus

Do it. You sound miserable. No job or career is worth being unhappy about.

I got a job last year (around February I think). Better money, five minutes from my house, better type of work. When I got in there, I just couldn't get settled. Six weeks in, I was thinking of moving. But I decided that I need to give it at least 3 months before I knew. Three months came and went, and so did six months. I just never got "into it", as you say - I won't go into the details. I just wasn't happy there.

Anyway, after eight months I went back to my previous employer. Doing a better job, but for less money (my employer actually offered me "Whatever I want" to stay on), and with a commute into the city centre. Haven't looked back

It can be tough to give up good money and hours, but if you're not happy, you're not happy.

labreagreine

If your girlfriend's ok with letting you go away for a few months then you should do it. Let's face it, life is too short to be stuck in a job you hate, especially when you could be having a bit of an adventure in Aus. Yeah, it won't be the best for your career but can you imagine working in your current position for the next year or 2?
I think your girlfriend will be the major obstacle.

gary the great

no-one says on their deathbed "I wish I'd spent more time at the work in the job i hate"..................not that I've heard of anyway!

Maple

quit your job and head off. life is too short. plus your relationship has already stood the test of being away before so you'll make it through.

just quit your job, its not worth it.

Spud83

gary the great wrote:

no-one says on their deathbed "I wish I'd spent more time at the work in the job i hate"..................not that I've heard of anyway!

You just want him to go with you. Sure its not one of your mates?:D

craichoe

I did the exact same as you, except it was the reverse (Cork --> Dublin) and I didnt like Dublin at all.

In hind-sight though it was because i was going back to Cork every weekend, the ol 91 bus down to Heuston then crammed on that crappy train for 3 1/2 hrs.

mainly it was because i missed most of the stuff on the weekends and missed my girlfriend. I moved back to Cork to be with her and it was the biggest mistake ever !

Naos

Actually Gary the Great has it spot on.

OP: Quit the job. Move back to Dublin with your gf and mates. Go to Aus.

_Kaiser_

I'll echo the majority here.. there's no point being in a job you don't like, in a place you don't wanna be.

Move back to Dublin, spend the time with your girlfriend and then head of to Oz with your mates - life's too short for regrets.

Pyjamarama

Like everyone else has said do what makes you happy, hand in your notice, spend time with your girlfriend then go to Oz with your friends. That will give you time to think about a different career path. If you aren't sure you want to stick with this type of job no point in staying in it for the sake of your career.

Go for it and have fun! Especially since your girlfriend isn't into travelling would you get the chance to go to Oz again?

Spud83

Pyjamarama wrote:

That will give you time to think about a different career path.

Ha I always love the people who say things like that. The travelling will allow me to think what I want to do with my life. When the reality turns out that they come home more confused than ever.

gary the great

alanmurphy83 wrote:

You just want him to go with you. Sure its not one of your mates?:D

Don't think it is, none of my mates give a toss about their careers at this stage of our lives (were all 23ish) and are much better for it, having the time of thier lives:D

Na the reason is said what I said was cos thats the reasoning behind my decison to go!

Spud83

gary the great wrote:

Na the reason is said what I said was cos thats the reasoning behind my decison to go!

Damn right too.

LegacyUser

Ye i know i should go, but i dont want to fail in this part of my career. I worked hard for 4 years in college to get here and this will be throwing it all away, but I am miserable.

My GF wants me to go as long as I promise that when i come back i move in with her and now more working outside from dub or going on mad 3-4 month adventures on the other side of the world! Our relationshp can stand us being apart so its good and we can totaly trust each other. But i do feel like i'll be abandoning her yet again whiel I go have fun and making her unhappy cos im not around!!

But she'd never go to Aus so this is my only chance.

Ye when i went to America it was a time to "see what direction I wanted my career to go in", I choose this route and look how thats turned out!

My boss wont be pleased, my parents aernt going to be happy either if i choose to go. Its being quite irresponsible isnt it? But i hate the job.
My college classmates will all view me as a failure to.

I dont know what to do - but i cant stay like this forever or i'll get depressed or something

oh

did the same thing as you about 18 months ago but boyfriend came too. job worked out ok but not great but having BF around kept me sane. Am way older than you tho (30 when I moved) so we kind of knew we were staying together (got engaged & married since actually). you're a bit young for all that stuff tho!!!

go to Oz if you can. BUT, if you go will you spend the 3 months wondering what you're going to do when you get back? Go, only after deciding what you intend to do so you can totally enjoy the trip. So what if you get a flight out a week later?? no big deal. easy to catch up withe people overthere.

One def true comment is that to settle in anywhere , you have to stop going back to Dublin every weekend cos you'll never get to know anyone or anywhere nice in Cork (I agree totally btw a really tough place to settle into as locals tend to be a bit texan in their outlook - lovely people but why does everyone care about where you're from??). All that happens when you go home all the time is that you see what you're missing. Can't your GF come down to you sometimes? you seem to be a guy who likes travel and new challenges. Is she the right one for you if she won't even leave the Big Smoke of Dublin town for 3 months???

DublinWriter

Doistayordoigo wrote:

Can I have your opinions and thoughts? I’m really confused by it all.

Dude - life is short - work to live and don't live to work.

seamus

willistayorgo wrote:

But she'd never go to Aus so this is my only chance.

Are you sure though - put the question to her anyway.

LegacyUser

oh wrote:

did the same thing as you about 18 months ago but boyfriend came too. job worked out ok but not great but having BF around kept me sane. Am way older than you tho (30 when I moved) so we kind of knew we were staying together (got engaged & married since actually). you're a bit young for all that stuff tho!!!

go to Oz if you can. BUT, if you go will you spend the 3 months wondering what you're going to do when you get back? Go, only after deciding what you intend to do so you can totally enjoy the trip. So what if you get a flight out a week later?? no big deal. easy to catch up withe people overthere.

One def true comment is that to settle in anywhere , you have to stop going back to Dublin every weekend cos you'll never get to know anyone or anywhere nice in Cork (I agree totally btw a really tough place to settle into as locals tend to be a bit texan in their outlook - lovely people but why does everyone care about where you're from??). All that happens when you go home all the time is that you see what you're missing. Can't your GF come down to you sometimes? you seem to be a guy who likes travel and new challenges. Is she the right one for you if she won't even leave the Big Smoke of Dublin town for 3 months???

Its the fact that she'll be leaving her job behind which she loves and is good at, she also has a car loan to repay (i said id cover it while were there though). She says she'd miss her family and friends to much, which i can understand but i think its a bit sad really, 3 months isnt that long. There is no way she will come, ive tried persuading her but its no use. And ye she still is the one for me, we differ in that i love a challenge and an adventure but other than that were nearly perfect together.

And i dont go back to dublin every weekend, its usually every 2nd weekend or so. And i go out down here when i stay weekends (with workmates or mates from home) but i find the cork people instantly dont like me when they hear my Dublin accent! But thats for another day!

So everyone says i should go, i suppose thats what i wanted to hear. but its easy for everyone else to say! And to the poster that said i could spend my time worrying about what id do when i came home, therers no chance of that. Im generally not a worrier, but i do worry career wise due to my competitveness(sp) and i feel this trip will be fairly detremental to it.

EdChigliak

Go go go!
Its only three months, you might be leaving an important position at work but you dont like it there and future employers are not going to hold it against you that you took a holiday! Youve stuck it out for 5 months in a city you dont like, that shows commitment, leaving it to go travelling shows independence and in a round about way, ambition. You can promise to move in with your girlfriend when you get back and maybe you will but, you dont need to tie yourself down to decisions that are based on the ephemeral and unknown future.
You should go, a change is the most uplifting thing in the world after youve been unhappy trying to persevere with something that makes you unhappy.

LegacyUser

'

EdChigliak wrote:

Go go go!
Its only three months, you might be leaving an important position at work but you dont like it there and future employers are not going to hold it against you that you took a holiday! Youve stuck it out for 5 months in a city you dont like, that shows commitment, leaving it to go travelling shows independence and in a round about way, ambition. You can promise to move in with your girlfriend when you get back and maybe you will but, you dont need to tie yourself down to decisions that are based on the ephemeral and unknown future.
You should go, a change is the most uplifting thing in the world after youve been unhappy trying to persevere with something that makes you unhappy.

thats really good advice and has made me feel better.
Ive been here 5months but most people say to me "give it a few more months", but 5 months is a really long time. I must say the thoguht of not being unhappy everyday appeals to me, i would feel free or soemthing.

But im throwing away the chance of a great career with good money making potential plus people wills ee m as a failure. thats the dilemma I face'

gary the great

So have you decided yet?

sodrisc

You're still so young you should definitely head off to Oz. If you're planning on moving in with your girlfriend when you get back it may be your last chance at (semi) freedom. You should then move back to Dublin and look for a job there when you get back. The five month's work experience will still stand to you and no employer would look harshly on someone your age going off travelling for a few months - they'll probably be glad you got it out of your system...

Electric

willistayorgo wrote:

Ye i know i should go, but i dont want to fail in this part of my career. I worked hard for 4 years in college to get here and this will be throwing it all away, but I am miserable.

My GF wants me to go as long as I promise that when i come back i move in with her and now more working outside from dub or going on mad 3-4 month adventures on the other side of the world! Our relationshp can stand us being apart so its good and we can totaly trust each other. But i do feel like i'll be abandoning her yet again whiel I go have fun and making her unhappy cos im not around!!

But she'd never go to Aus so this is my only chance.

Ye when i went to America it was a time to "see what direction I wanted my career to go in", I choose this route and look how thats turned out!

My boss wont be pleased, my parents aernt going to be happy either if i choose to go. Its being quite irresponsible isnt it? But i hate the job.
My college classmates will all view me as a failure to.

I dont know what to do - but i cant stay like this forever or i'll get depressed or something

I've been in jobs that I hated and it was pure torture to get up in the mornings. I only stayed until I found somewhere else to move to. So I can empathise.

Personally I would go. If you start worrying about being a failure in that job you'll only end up staying longer to try "make a go of it" and it'll make things worse. There will be other jobs! There always are!

The other thing is too you can't go around worrying about whether your boss will be impressed if you leave. By the sounds of it once you're gone you're not coming back so screw what he thinks. I wouldn't worry too much about your parents either they may not be too impressed but they can't live your life for you. And if you always played it safe i.e. stay in the job and do all the things that you think are expected of you. Well then quiet frankly that is the quickest way to a life of quiet desparation!!!!

I did one thing in college thought that would be what I would be working at for my whole career but when I did work experience in that area I found it really wasn't for me. I could have made it work but it would have been effort and I didn't think it was worth it. As it happens I fell into another area that I love! There will always be other opportunities!

In terms of Aus I would def go! You only get so many chances to ditch stuff and head off into the sunset. Things like mortgages, financial commitments, kids etc will creep up on you and then there will be no more 3 month holidays!

Would you gf be willing to flight out and meet you for the last 2 weeks or something of your trip?

ps. sorry for the long post!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. Nope the GF won't come out for the last 2 weeks as she won't have enough holiday days left from work.

My Dad says leaving the job would be taking the easy option, but I actually think it's the complete opposite, I think it's much harder to leave here.

I got paid the other day and I just kept looking at my wages thinking its going to be a long time till I'm earning this kind of money again (I'm 24, a year out of college and on 42k a year!), although there is an interview for the same job in Dublin in 2 weeks, (I'm going for the interview) and apparently there is 40 people going for the job, this is after they went through all the applications and didn't invite a lot of people due to different reasons. So that's how sought after it is!

If I get the Dub job (unlikely though) I won't be going to Aus and I'll take that and try it. But I have to get out of here so I'm planning on giving my notice next week and planning for Aus and starting to look forward to it.

I was thinking last night that I know if I didn't go I would regret it forever. This is really my last chance, I'm 24 now, about to move in with my GF of 4 years, full time employment etc soon there will be financial commitments, mortgages, babies etc so i just have to do it don't I?

And to be honest if I can take something away from this experience working here its that money does not equal happiness. It does give you great satisfaction knowing you're earning so much etc but really the job
makes me miserable and I can't put a price on that.

I think I've made my mind up, I think I'll go.