Is it love? or dependence?

LegacyUser

I was with my ex for a year- i adored her but ill admit mistakes were make and i cheated on her.

Long story short she never forgave me. However we managed to maintain a friendship and she is my best friend now. Ill admit i still have feelings for her.

Recently my dad got very ill and we were told he only has months left, and ive been a wreak, and she has been wonderful, she cleans my flat makes me meals, calls work and tells them i wont be in when i spent all night at dads side- she great!!!

I got a bit depressed the other night and got drunk. After staggering home she was the only thing on my mind- I asked her to come over and i tried to kiss her, She got angry with me and told me to "Cop on" that my dad was dying and all i wanted was to get my leg over.

This shocked me, I love her so much and she has been my rock these last few months, shes always in my head and i cant imagine not havning her there. However i knew i always wanted her back but since this business with my dad its been stronger......... And i dont know if this is love....... or dependence!!!

TEH REAL CDP

Sorry to hear about your dad man, thats rough. I think its lust, not love. Sort yourself out man, drink isn't the way to go and your dad needs you by the sounds of things.

Best of luck man.

CathyMoran

Your feelings are all over the place with your dads illness while it may be love you will not know until things settle down. It may be love but you can not tell at the moment.

Oryx

Your in a really rough place at the moment and you need her. And for some reason she has a need to take care of you. It doesnt sound to me like love comes into it.
Whatever you do dont make another move on her in your current situation and state of mind. When youre no longer depending on her in the way you are, your head might be clearer and you might know better what you want.

milkerman

We come back to the fundamental question - Can ex's ever just be good friends? I think it is possible but the past romance lingers like an elephant in the room and emerges when one or both parties have a moment of weakness. I am sure there will be plenty to cite their own experiences and will disagree vehemently, but that is my opinion.
It's time to be your own rock. You face a difficult time and need to be strong for those around you ESPECIALLY YOUR DAD. Do your own housework. I dont mean to be harsh, but you wont find the strength to deal with this in another person and certainly not in a bottle.

Corkgirl21

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.

I think the problem with an ex that you're still good friends with is that you do still love them and they love you. Not "in love" necessarily but a closeness that has kept you being friends. Add to that that you have feelings for them makes it very confusing.

While she has been great to you for the last three months according to your post I think it is a bit unfair to give out to you for a drunken mistake! You are obviously having a hard time. Drinking isn't the best option obviously but if it was a once off i think if you apologised and explain how you're feeling then I'm sure she'll be sympathetic.

I also think it's unfair of her to expect you to think of nothing but your Dad, it would drive you mad. It doesn't make you a bad person to have your own issues, like having feelings for her; you can't help how you feel.

Sorry this has been a bit rambling so in short I think you have to really try and think if you want to be in a relationship with her or if you just have come to depend on her. Like the others were saying though you're probably not in the best state of mind to make big decisions like this at the minute.

Have ye talked about what happened at all since?