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Writing

  • 27-07-2007 4:26pm
    #1
    segarox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 132 ✭✭


    Hey all, just though I'd give you this link to my writing.com portfolio http://writing.com/authors/gyoung, check out the short stories I've written and tell me what you think! Also, I asked on the paranormal boards if anyone could help me research the occult for a supernatural murder mystery novel I'm writing and I'm also planning to write a concluding chapter of a videogame trilogy that was never properly concluded. If are familiar with the 'Ecco The Dolphin' games on the Sega Mega Drive and Mega CD you'll know what I'm on about


Comments

  • #2
    sheelahswheels
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭sheelahswheels


    segarox wrote:
    Hey all, just though I'd give you this link to my writing.com portfolio http://writing.com/authors/gyoung, check out the short stories I've written and tell me what you think! Also, I asked on the paranormal boards if anyone could help me research the occult for a supernatural murder mystery novel I'm writing and I'm also planning to write a concluding chapter of a videogame trilogy that was never properly concluded. If are familiar with the 'Ecco The Dolphin' games on the Sega Mega Drive and Mega CD you'll know what I'm on about

    sound but the site is a bit on the confusing side if I am honest with you


  • #3
    MojoMaker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,938 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    Don't take this the wrong way but you're not a natural writer. The suggested work needs....well considerable work. The Michael Scott / Terry Pratchett crossover doesn't really sit comfortably with this reader either.

    Amazon is a great source of info on how to develop structure, plot, and characterisations, but if you want a quick tip - steer well clear of superlatives - they jar badly in all forms of writing.


  • #4
    highlydebased
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,472 ✭✭✭highlydebased


    They are reasonbly OK

    BUT-

    -Titles. Not catchy enough to make me want to read it
    -Lack of full stops- general long sentences with lots of commas in place of full stops
    -Introductory paragraphs could be more captivating. Again, the first paragraph does not stimulate for read further

    On a 1 to 10 scale around 6.5. With some work they would be much better


  • #5
    segarox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 132 ✭✭segarox


    MojoMaker wrote:
    Don't take this the wrong way but you're not a natural writer.
    Well I am doing a writing course with Kilroy's College but in the meantime, any advice?
    MojoMaker wrote:
    The Michael Scott / Terry Pratchett crossover.

    Now let's get one thing quite clear... I'm not trying to imitate any other authors, if I was I'd be trying to parody them. I wrote 'Death's Desire' as I felt he gets bad press in the movies and such, also I was trying to make him seem just as human as any of us.


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