The Ultimate Mega Thread of Extreme Negativity

Raiser

I'm sick of all this tree-hugging, I love the World, positive-vibe nonsense.......

........I'm tired of the way the media tries to foist a blanket of contented serenity over society, as far as I am concerned Irish people are never really happy....... but we can be at our most content when being bitter, begrudging, waiting for the next shower to ruin the neighbours BBQ - and most of all being negative about everything within range.

So try it today - list all your negative thoughts and bask in the warm fuzzy haven of your very own self-made Doom-Cradle.

My Current Negativity List:

* My Dog doesn't know any tricks.
* I've never had a hit single.
* None of my ex-girlfriends like me.
* My Hamster died [15 years ago] from respiratory problems [kitty -€80]
* I'm not paid enough, Taxman takes most of what I am paid and gives it to tracksuit people who exist to menace society.
* I don't tan well - I burn and then flake sporadically.
* I don't have white teeth like Donny Osmond.
* I've never played an 8 minute guitar solo in Wembly Stadium.
* Theres never anything good on TV, when there is something on, I miss it through not having an aptitude for television scheduling.
* If I was to go on holidays abroad insects would probably bite me and send me into a coma with associated fever & delerious episodes so I stay at home to observe the rain.

*Edit fr speling mitakes

BeatNikDub

YES - good one Mr Raiser

*My job is highly stressful and I feel like exploding
*Im getting a cold
*I got two timed AND dumped this week for another woman
*I cant no matter how hard I try keep my room tidy
*No one will bloody go on holiday and i NEED one
*If I go somewhere hot I will burn anyway and get bitten
*I dont have nice white teeth either
*My washing machine is broken
*I cant afford to buy my own place in this damn country
*I dont have any pets because I rent and I want a CAT
*There are far too many things to put on this list

ARGH

phasers

my life is great actually

-TK^Creator

*I want to win the lotto
*Sort out my college
*Where are my abs gone
*My list is too short

Duggy747

• I'm on work experience as an IT Tech in a County Council but all I'm being made do is scan fúckin maps for the Planning Department!!
• I'm living away from home so everyday I finish work, go home to my flat and twiddle my thumbs until 9am the next day.
• My flat costs €100 a week excluding ESB and I make €280 a week.
• All my friend's are off to Spain today for a group holiday.
• Can't go back to college next year missing out on all the fun with the lad's I've had brilliant craíc with for 3 years!
• Even if the sun was out this summer I'd be reduced to ashes cuz of my crappy white skin.
• There's nothing but muck on TV after Mondays.
• I can't stand adverts on TV, all saying how unhealthy I am without their acid-inducing products.
• Dublin skangers being relocated to my hometown on the west of Ireland resulting in an unsuprising crime spree of nicking cars and drug dealing!

Bah!! I'm pissed off now, I'm going for a tea break!! I'll be back to finish!

Spud83

• I have no lighter, and the other smokers aren't in today meaning I cant have a smoke
• Every new project in work involves some random technology I have no idea about.
• I should have stayed in Australia. Why did I come home?
• My lunch looks boring
• I'm not getting drunk tonight
• I know it will rain later
• The boobage thread is dead
• I cant afford my own home
• For the first time I actually have to think about health cover and pensions

I think I'm done but I may require an edit later.

Ayahuarian

Raiser wrote:

I'm sick of all this tree-hugging, I love the World, postive-vibe nonsense.......

So, as opposed to that you hate nature, and don't like people trying to make the world a better place? Great attitude.

BKtje

*My cat is old and keeps ****ting in the basement instead of in her kitty box.
*My brother refuses to do any kind of tidying up/housework.
*The new furniture is costing a fortune.
*This toughbook didn't come with an optical drive.
*I just know the weather is going to be bad for me bbq.
*I just know there is going to be an issue when i collect my tickets tonight because of credit card.
*More grumbles about the weather.

On a positive note i just realised that the toughbook has a touchscreen.

EDIT: *People who take threads in after hours too seriously.

The_B_Man

• I work helpdesk
• I cant get me finger out to book me network+ exam, even tho I know it all! Havent a hope of gettin the MCSE anytime soon if this continues!
• I cant get me finger out to do me drivin theory test. I pcik up me bike today from the bike shop.
• helpdesk smells - i want a better job.
• i dumped the gf last week. kinda bored now...
• im payin 400 a month for a dive in templeogue with 3 other blokes.
• i wanna be in a band but dont know anyone except ppl already IN bands!

Ayahuarian

The_B_Man wrote:

• i wanna be in a band but dont know anyone except ppl already IN bands!

Hmm, what you play and what type of music? I'm looking for a drummer :rolleyes:

Agamemnon

• The DVD burner in my laptop is banjaxed and my hard drive is nearly full with stuff that needs burning
• I stopped working out 3 weeks ago cos I was sick and now I'm too lazy to start again
• The weather is crap
• I missed breakfast this morning
• I've never shagged Heather Graham, Jessica Alba, Siún Nic Gearailt, Denise Richards, Mila Kunis, Jaime Pressly, Jeri Ryan, Melissa George, Kelly Brook, Kristanna Loken, Natasha Henstridge, Nell McAndrew, Rebecca Romjin, Salma Hayek, Charisma Carpenter or Cartman's mother
• My hamster died 15 years ago too but apparently he was only hibernating and I buried him anyway. I'm a murderer.

thelordofcheese

Good thread raiser.

Anyway

My flatmates seem to have turned the kitchen into a hive of scum and villany, again. And i'm too wrecked most evening to clean it up after them.

One of them seems to be incapable of preforming simple tasks, like opening the door so as to collect a parcel, or say filling out a form so we don't have to pay council tax, despite not having anything to do all day

Actually, now that i think about it, i blame the 2nd guy for the mess. And his girlfriend.

I have 15 days to do about a months work.

We have two artists on our team, but in reality we have one artist and a broken mess of a human being that lied their way onto the team, and can't do anything right, ANYTHING

Artificial Intelligence is the devils work

As soon as this is over, i have to start my masters, and find a job so i can continue to live. Meaning that i will have been working like a slave for about 2 years straight with no break of longer than a few days.


On the plus side, i now have a beard that would make chuck norris proud. Not that i planned to grow one, but since i ran out of razor blades and couldn't be arsed buying new ones, nature took it's course.

looksee

~ I can't find the key that makes bullet point spots
~ I want to take this thread seriously and empathise with the poor posters but I keep laughing
~ I haven't got half the stuff done this holiday that I intented to do because I keep sitting for hours foostering around on the laptop
~ I can't get my washing dry with all the rain
~ The cat has fleas
~ He's been sharing them round
~ I'm allergic to flea bites
~ Its going to rain again
~ Its going to rain again
~ Its going to rain again
~ I don't live in Spain

Collie D

thelordofcheese wrote:

and find a job so i can continue to live.

Welcome to the real world.

thelordofcheese

New one

people who reply "Welcome to the real world" or similar crap to anything on this thread.

You are not sharing any sage advice gleaned from your years of hard graft or similar bollocks, you're missing the point by a country mile.
Now, complain vocally about the world around you, or shush.

The_B_Man

Ayahuarian wrote:

Hmm, what you play and what type of music? I'm looking for a drummer :rolleyes:

guitar. tho i can prob play the drums...it just wont sound good...:p

Pighead

Pighead absolutely hates people on forums whose name rhymes with thehoardofknees. Was on another forum last night and came across this spanner called thefordofseas, he irritated me within seconds. Had to log off immediately. Just something about the phonetics of the whole thing that really grinds Pighead gears.

Pighead absolutely hates despises, abhors and detests the phrase "grinds my gears". People who use that phrase really are class A spanners.

cooperguy

Your definatly in the right place anyway After Hours is cover in threads about how terrible Ireland/Woman/Men/Travellers/Roma/Politicians are lately. If anything there is too much of that going around at the moment in here.

Join the boards lotto syndicate in my sig and it'll brighten up your life when we win. Maybe you wont have such a negetive view on the world then:D

jester77

I need a job that pays as well as this but is more exciting
My gf is away on business the last 2 days so I haven't got any in 48 hours
It's windy today
There was tachichi on my döner chips although I didn't ask for it

galah

the weather is crap. crap. crap. It's so bad I am seriously considering emigration. it makes me depressed, unhappy, and very, very cranky.

Pherekydes

• I married the wrong woman
• I joined the army at 17
• I should have done my leaving and gone to college
• My running career was ruined by joining the army
• I should have won a scholarship to a big college statesside
• I should have earned a maths degree at 22 instead of 46
• I should have won Olympic gold in 1988
• I want my life back to try again

Beelzebub

I want my life back too, well with what I know now obviously!
The things I'd change...choices I'd make etc, etc, Jeez...

Schadenfreude helps...sometimes...

Beelzebub

I am emigrating though maybe that'll help, still I can't however escape from myself...

Beelzebub

The_B_Man wrote:

guitar. tho i can prob play the drums...it just wont sound good...:p

yeah, me too, the drums that is...wish I could play the guitar but my fingers are too short and Fukked from all this typing...

Beelzebub

This is my favourite thread so far, but I bet it won't last long, that's a depressing thought...

2funki4wheelz

- Transformers aren't real
- I had to take a pay cut of nearly 50% to work near home in a place where I actually get to use my brain
- I don't see my dogs enough
- I wasted 4 years in college
- Although my hair is short like a blokes it costs 3 times what a blokes costs
- I still don't own a pony
- I'm too old to play with toys and I didn't appreciate playing with them enough when I was young
- I need fake tan to not look like a corpse
- I'm short and there's no plastic surgery for that

Thrill

I didnt win the lotto during the week....and I wont win it on saturday as well.

Probably wont win euro millions either.


Feckin lotto.

*sobs*

J.S. Pill

If you're feeling blue just think of that Nina Simone song:

I got my hair, I got my head
I got my brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got my smile

Dah dah dah da de dah Dah dah dah da de dah...

Hmmm, for some reason I have a strange desire to go out and buy some manner of pro-biotic yoghurt drink.

AlmightyCushion

* Sometimes my hole gets so itchy that I can't resist the urge to scratch it any more. So I have to scratch it, then my boxers have skid marks on them and that leaves me with the dilemma.
Do I a) Change my boxers and hope that the lynx effect works with out lynx or Be a lazy cúnt and not change my boxers and pray the lynx effect doesn't work without lynx.

* I know that some day the lynx effect will work without lynx and that will be the day I chose option B.

* I didn't get to go on Boards today because I had rakes of work to do.

* On Monday senior management want to see a demo of the project I've been working on. All they're gonna keep asking is when will it be done.

* A load of my friends have gone to Amsterdam for the week. I can't go because I'm too broke.

* Iarnrod Eireann is run by a bunch of clowns.

* I have to spent the rest of the summer studying because I failed one of my exams. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them right now.

Also Starring LeVar Burton

-The music isn't loud enough.
-I hate working.
-I can't find a house to rent.
-Someone just turned the lights on.
-They're drinking my Rock Shandy.
-There's no more Harry Potter to read.
-I have to wait until 2009 for Transformers 2.
-Despite working my a55 off, I've got no money.
-There's another 6 weeks until I can go back to college.
-I haven't had any alcohol in over 2 weeks.
-The weather is s***!!!

agamemnon

agamemnon wrote:

• My hamster died 15 years ago too but apparently he was only hibernating and I buried him anyway. I'm a murderer.

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I couldn't not do it.

Jesus Wept

Are many people bothering to read everyone elses whiney bull****?

stepbar

sh1te happens. such is life.

stepbar

AlmightyCushion wrote:

* Sometimes my hole gets so itchy that I can't resist the urge to scratch it any more. So I have to scratch it, then my boxers have skid marks on them and that leaves me with the dilemma.
Do I a) Change my boxers and hope that the lynx effect works with out lynx or Be a lazy cúnt and not change my boxers and pray the lynx effect doesn't work without lynx.

* I know that some day the lynx effect will work without lynx and that will be the day I chose option B.

LOL

stepbar

Slow coach wrote:

I married the wrong woman

Issues

Fad

-I havent drank since St Patricks Day (this is begining to worry me)
-I need a job
-I want a new guitar/amp/setup (see above)
-There are very few good gigs coming up
-The leaving cert is looming
-Just got all my schoolbooks and can barely lift my bag (not including folders/copies/books from lat year)
-I never want to see the gross majority of my year again but i must suffer another two years with them
-My mother wont stop harping on about this catholicism thing
-My parents dislike about just about everything im interested in
-i cant think of the rest of my problems:rolleyes:

oh well

Peyton Manning

• My favourite top is covered in hairs because I fell asleep on the couch and the cat had a nap on top of me.
• Because I fell asleep, I also missed the bus into town and now I cant go out tonight.
• I cant afford a car.
• I wasted a year of my life in the wrong college.
• My girlfriend lives over 5 hours away.
• Public transport costs too f*cking much.
• Theres f*ck all on telly tonight.
• My boss at work is a complete w@nker.

Fad

remembered:

-most of my friends are off on their SECOND holiday!

Thrill

thrill wrote:

I didnt win the lotto during the week....and I wont win it on saturday as well.

Probably wont win euro millions either.


Feckin lotto.

*sobs*

I was right. *whine*

ali.c

Fad wrote:

-most of my friends are off on their SECOND holiday!

me too, jealous doesnt even describe it.

Also i have a nasty habit of saying yes when someone asks for something that sounds reasonably straight forward and then end up spending the whole weekend working on something that i never agreed to do in the first place

I work for free, stupid placement bloody 3hrs a day travelling and no pay :mad:

the people who are actually motivated to save the world are all cookcoo, and couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery, everyone else is just trying to look like they care.