Faking your own death.

Gumbyman

OK. How do people do this? Is it necessary to go to Mexico and get your missus to get some dodgy death and cremation certificates? Are there easier ways? What happens to you if you get caught (obviously if you claim insurance then you're fcuked but what if you just do it for the laugh?). Any info would be most appreciated. I fear that I have made a rather foolish bet.......

MooseJam

faking your own death for a laugh hmmm

Gumbyman

No, just faking your own death for a laugh. Don't mind the humming part. That was just in your head.

jor el

Gumbyman wrote:

I fear that I have made a rather foolish bet.......

Yes you have.

If it's a small amount of money then just concede and pay up as it will be considerably expensive to fake your own death.

biko

I think OP had got a problem paying back money owed the drug dealers.

A little googling goes a long way

MooseJam

dig a fresh corpse up, make sure its a bloke, strap him into your car after you have doused it in petrol and drive it over a cliff, leave your passport in the glove box, corpse will get done well crispy and you will be declared dead, I don't think they would do DNA testing for such a cut and dried case, leave a dirty snot rag in the glove box too they may test that for DNA

sunny2004

If you knowingly fake your own death you are guilty of a crime..

The crime is stupidity !

Rb

Kill the guy you've bet against, it'll save you heaps of cash.

aidan_walsh

Get out of the bet and don't fake your death. Do it for real instead.

Alanthroneus

well id say you can go take part in the tour de france. i hear they have a minefield obstacle course as one of the stages

Rb

aidan_walsh wrote:

Get out of the bet and don't fake your death. Do it for real instead.

Winner.

Pherekydes

There's a high sea cliff in Mexico. Go there and dive off, but hold your breath and swim out to sea, about a mile should do it, instead of coming up. Everyone will assume you've drowned.





P.S. Watch out for sharks and sea snakes.

Alanthroneus

Slow coach wrote:

There's a high sea cliff in Mexico. Go there and dive off, but hold your breath and swim out to sea, about a mile should do it, instead of coming up. Everyone will assume you've drowned.





P.S. Watch out for sharks and sea snakes.

and mexicans......

delta_bravo

MooseJam wrote:

dig a fresh corpse up, make sure its a bloke, strap him into your car after you have doused it in petrol and drive it over a cliff, leave your passport in the glove box, corpse will get done well crispy and you will be declared dead, I don't think they would do DNA testing for such a cut and dried case, leave a dirty snot rag in the glove box too they may test that for DNA

And how exactly does one obtain a fireproof glovebox?

MooseJam

delta_bravo wrote:

And how exactly does one obtain a fireproof glovebox?

bummer, back to the drawing board

Gran Hermano

delta_bravo wrote:

And how exactly does one obtain a fireproof glovebox?

They are an optional extra in fireproof cars, I thought everyone knew that.

Raiser

Go lie in Padraig Nally's back garden with a number of Heinz Ketchup defensive wounds splashed cunningly on your Daz white shirt - when the Coronor arrives just hold your breath and suppress your pulse Ninja style, thems Coronors are mainly Medical College dropouts anyhow, should be easy-peasy-japanesy......

Snapper1

A recent case you might get some ideas from...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/639098.stm

The Bollox

MooseJam wrote:

dig a fresh corpse up, make sure its a bloke, strap him into your car after you have doused it in petrol and drive it over a cliff, leave your passport in the glove box, corpse will get done well crispy and you will be declared dead, I don't think they would do DNA testing for such a cut and dried case, leave a dirty snot rag in the glove box too they may test that for DNA

what about dental records

aequinoctium

If you knowingly fake your own death you are guilty of a crime..

not if you disappear and are presumed dead - it's their fault for not looking hard enough for you

thefinalstage

The Bollox wrote:

what about dental records

*Sings* Punch him in the face, oh punch him in the face, smack that corpse around the place, oh punch him in the face! *Sings*

It BeeMee

Hmmmm. Faking your own deah could be tricky.

Easier to go into a coma for, say, a couple of years?
At that point, the bet will be forgotten....

kirving

Put it in the local paper that you died in a freak surfing accident in South Africa, if the paper says they'll only accept notices from funeral directors, say that they are south african, and that you are to buried there.

The Bollox

Kidnap your friend and fake his death instead.

The Bollox wrote:

what about dental records

Make sure to kidnap the dentist too.

Thrill

Leave all your clothes on a beach along with a note saying how you cant take living in this world anymore. Then hide out for a few weeks while millions of taxpayers euros are spent on the search for your body.

Mahatma coat

If you knowingly fake your own death....

:eek:

Right, how would you unknowingly fake yer own death, what like y'd it all set in motion ages ago and ya just clean forgot?

JIZZLORD

could turn out dodgy, a labour mp in england faked his heath in the early eighties and was arrested in australia when they thought he was lord lucan..... pwned!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Also Starring LeVar Burton

It's a shame the OP was banned. I really wanted to find out whether he/she succeeded or not.

Caliden

Just go out one night with mates. Intentionally lose them and head to the beach/docks. Take off your shoes&clothes and put them in a pile on the ground like you have gone swimming and take the clothes from the bag of clothes you have hidden away earlier and leg it!

CantGetNoSleep

thrill wrote:

Leave all your clothes on a beach along with a note saying how you cant take living in this world anymore. Then hide out for a few weeks while millions of taxpayers euros are spent on the search for your body.

check the waterford city thread, a woman tried this about two weeks ago in tramore, said she was bringing her two kids out in a dinghy and the rest was up to god or something like that, left a note on the door of the lifeboat station, the search and rescue helicopter and boats spent from 2am to 5am searching and all the next day, turned out to be a hoax

Tazz T

Between 60,000 and 100,000 people at any given time in America are missing. After seven years, these people are presumed dead.

So going missing during a two week hol in the states would increase your chances of faking your own death significantly.

Gumbyman

I was thinking of hiding in a cave with a crate of bachelors baked beans and getting my mate to spread the rumour that I simply shot myself and hid the gun. And the body.

I was barred (much to my chagrin and wonder) but am back again. A case of mistaken identity it seems (the intended barree must have faked his own death then subsequently stolen my identity - very crafty, wonder how he did it).