Checking partners texts

petite

A while back I discovered my boyfriend was texting a girl he
used to work with - the texts were very flirtatious and suggestive.
I approached him about it and he said he'd cut contact with her and that
nothing had happened between them.
The thing is I find it very hard to stop myself checking his phone - i'm hoping
this will pass with time.

Anybody else have something similiar like this happen to them?

Maple

why were you checking his phone in the first place? doing that is a symptom of believing that there is something wrong in the relationship.

Spud83

No trust = no relationship. sorry.

Heinrich

Who cares? I leave my phone all over the place and very often leave it at home. I do not need to text all over the place and I am still living my life.

Now if someone wants to flirt/have an affair/keep in touch with the ex he/she should be discreet and lay off the evidence. Getting caught out over a flaming text message. Great stuff.

davyjose

In fairness, the only difference between you and him is that he still seems to trust you.
Seriously though, perhaps he stepped over the mark, but you should have dealt with it there and then. You have no right to do what you're doing, and I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate that happening to you.

Storm_rages

IMO he broke your trust and it will take a while to build it back, i think you will have to stop yourself from doing it. Its hard learning how to trust someone but you have to say i want this to work therefore i will trust him. I don't think he would be happy if he knew you were doing this..so stop before he notices..
Good Luck!!

biko

petite wrote:

Anybody else have something similiar like this happen to them?

This is a classic "I did bad and want to lessen my guilt by seeing if others do it too".

I know it's hard but you will have to let it slide. You didn't say what the texts were but do you believe he acted upon them or just flirting (which in itself is bad)?

DRakE

I dont trust my boyfriend or respect his privacy

Fixed your thread title for you

little miss

Yes, I've been in that situation. Am in it right now. My bf cheated on me. We're working through things but twice now I've checked his phone. He was there, and saw me, but still, I feel really bad about it. Found things that could be interpreted as dodgy, but he had explanations for them. And I believe him. I seriously want things to work between us, so am trying my hardest to resist temptation now. If I genuinely thought something dodgy was going on then I'd leave. Checking his phone seems stupid. Much better to ask him out straight if you're worried or suspecting something is going on. Resist the temptation!

paulie.walnuts

To all the guys out there in relation to your phone, delete delete delete anything inappropriate your girl will read your messages when she gets a chance.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

petite wrote:

A while back I discovered my boyfriend was texting a girl he
used to work with - the texts were very flirtatious and suggestive.
I approached him about it and he said he'd cut contact with her and that
nothing had happened between them.
The thing is I find it very hard to stop myself checking his phone - i'm hoping
this will pass with time.

Anybody else have something similiar like this happen to them?

Na it wont... ya don't trust him, simple as that.
the only time you will stop checking his phone is when ye split... and that not a bad thing

corklady

alanmurphy83 wrote:

No trust = no relationship. sorry.

I agree strongly. I have never (in the two years I have lived with my boyfriend) ever read any of his messages. a relationship IS trust. you'll never be completely happy with someone if you don't trust them.