Don't Stand So Close To Me

Anto McC

Apologies if this has been done before.

Picture the scene lads you go into a bathroom with 5 urinals and walk to the end one,your just getting it out when another lad walks in he has a choice of 4 urinals, 3 of which has a safe distance from yourself but he picks the other and stands right beside you as you get ready to do what you have too but of course now you're a little freaked out and unnerved and the little lad has serious stage fright while Mr space invader is looking at you like your a pathetic kid.

Well do you give up,put it back in,wash your hands and walk away (as i did) or do keep your todger in your hand and wait him out,then do what you have to when he's gone?

I then told my friend outside what happened and he laughed at me and told me i was being childish and that it wouldn't have bothered him in the slightest. I thought that avoiding standing beside another bloke at a urinal,where possible,was a universally understood thing between blokes, was i wrong?

Do you ever go anywhere with a busy bar?

Anto McC

I do and at that point it's unavoidable,i understand that but there was 2 of us and 5 urinals.

ironictoaster

I hate people like that, same thing happened to me on the bus. Plenty of seats and this person has to sit beside me, never got it.

Ruu_Old

Put him away and go back later, that chap obviously hasn't watched the following. For shame.

MooseJam

Once it's been taken out it can't be reholstered without firing a shot, I'd wait him out

Anto McC

Ruu wrote:

that chap obviously hasn't watched the following. For shame.

About 1:55 into that video - "When you enter the restroom, always select the urinal that is as far away as possible, from men who are using other urinals"

That right there is what i thought every bloke on the planet who ever used a urinal,understood.

Cake Fiend

creggy wrote:

I hate people like that, same thing happened to me on the bus. Plenty of seats and this person has to sit beside me, never got it.

Should have called them on it. Explain to them the urban jungle theory.

Zzippy

This reminded me of the urinal game I was sent by email a while ago

http://www.flashgamegiant.com/content/10416.html

Explains the etiquette of urinal choice quite well!

Terry

I've no problem with someone standing beside me when the toilet has seperate urinals.
when the urinal is a communal one I'll gladly wait for a cubicle. I don't want someone elses splashback landing on me.

2 stroke

I remember 1 night in the westcounty. i was stanting at the urinal which was a long trough and there were three others using it. At most this trough could handle 5 adults but they would be rubbing shoulders. Anyway a fifth guy walked in and I presumed he would wait or use a cubicle. When I heard a zipper opening behind me I spepped aside thinking this guy must be full. However he didnt step forward but a torrent of pee hit the urinal, my immediate reaction was that I if I get soaked I'm going to thump him. However when I looked down this guys nob was level with mine. I left that loo feeling very inadequate.

Gumbyman

People should not be allowed to speak at the urinals eithers. Nothing worse than some moron making idle chit chat. You're there to take care of some business. What sort of person goes to the toilet to make friends? Not my sort of person. Years later "Oh here's my good friend Jake, we met in a urinal at Leopardstown races back in 2007 and have been fast friends ever since."

Lord Nikon

Restroom etiquette:
No conversation,

No looking at other nobs, no matter what. Look straight ahead or up, only look down when putting the gun away, IF NESSESSARY.

If there is plenty or cubicles or urinals, choose the furtherst away from others. If it's unkempt, make best judgement.

Lord Nikon

Don't make fast friends, whatever you do. Well said Gumbyman.

Reku

neuromancer wrote:

Restroom etiquette:
No conversation,

No looking at other nobs, no matter what. Look straight ahead or up, only look down when putting the gun away, IF NESSESSARY.

If there is plenty or cubicles or urinals, choose the furtherst away from others. If it's unkempt, make best judgement.

Yup, thought these were understood by all males...
Same as 2 men can never share an umbrella...

Guess you could always try freak him out even worse; start the hand movements and saying:
"Ooh yeah, watch me knock it out! Watch me c**!" etc... etc... I'd certainly forget peeing and get the feck out of there if some guy beside me at the urinals was acting like that!:eek: Not even sure I'd stop to wash my hands...:o

Mizu_Ger

Another thing that gets me is when someone comes into the toilet with loads of free urinals and still goes into the cubicle just to do a whizz.

Reku

At least you don't have to worry about someone trying to stand next to you.:p

Then another thing is people who don't flush and also those who see an unflushed toilet and have to try another cubicle, there's this little metal handle folks, you push down on one end and all that nastiness disappears elsewhere.

KTRIC

Mizu_Ger wrote:

Another thing that gets me is when someone comes into the toilet with loads of free urinals and still goes into the cubicle just to do a whizz.

No problems with that, do it myself. I prefer the privacy that the cubicle brings.

Gumbyman

The only time I have ever felt like talking to anybody in the jacks was when this guy went into the cubicle beside me and violently farted. I swear it was so loud it made my ears ring and by my estimate he expelled circa 2 cubic litres of gaseous matter. I really, really had to bite my tongue to stop a "Nicely done!" slipping out. It was un real.

Mizu_Ger

KTRIC wrote:

No problems with that, do it myself. I prefer the privacy that the cubicle brings.

Privacy to do what? The jax are there for doing only 2 things (let's call them no.1 and no.2 ). Why do you need privacy? Everyone else is doing the same thing as you (unless you need the privacy for a quick no.3 :eek: ).

padi89

Mizu_Ger wrote:

Privacy to do what? The jax are there for doing only 2 things (let's call them no.1 and no.2 ). Why do you need privacy? Everyone else is doing the same thing as you (unless you need the privacy for a quick no.3 :eek: ).

I would presume its like the "back seat of taxi thread" just dont want to make small talk.;)

Tar.Aldarion

I don't see the problem, just piss ffs.

2 stroke

Privacy to do what?

The only reason I can think of is to give things a quick visual check, after all you know where its been.

Gumbyman

I like to text on the jacks. Unless I'm in a hurry I'll go to the cubicle if there are a few free (wont take the last one in case somebody really needs it and has an unfortunate incident) for number 1. Sit back and relax, send a few messages, have a ponder then back to my desk. Can't really do that at a urinal.

2 stroke

I don't have text on mine.

Chad ghostal

KTRIC wrote:

No problems with that, do it myself. I prefer the privacy that the cubicle brings.

+1

although i'd go so far as to say i can't piss with someone standing next to me without a serious amount of concentration, which can look odd to people waiting to use the urinal

GrumPy

creggy wrote:

I hate people like that, same thing happened to me on the bus. Plenty of seats and this person has to sit beside me, never got it.

Although thats never happened me, when people sit DIRECTLY in front of you on a bus when there is about 30 empty seats, that really grinds my gears. :mad:

I dont wanna see you greasy hair close up, and have to smell your cigerette clothes if I can avoid it.

kevmy

Only one exception to the don't talk at the urinals rule: They gotta be one of your best mates and be saying something funny. No idle chit-chat, no serious talking and no just-saying-hello malarkey

Mizu_Ger

Thinking more about urinals, what about fellas who undo their belt and all (instead of just the fly) to go for a whizz. Some of them practically drop their trousers down to their ankles. Its weird stuff like that that makes me nervous!

layke

Maxum distance, eyes forward, no talking.

Dem's the rules.

nice1franko

Stand as far the fukc away as possible or franko is getting stage fright, zippin up, tutting, thinking about slapping the slack-jaw while standing in the long queue for the coke cubicles.

Crucifix

Mizu_Ger wrote:

Thinking more about urinals, what about fellas who undo their belt and all (instead of just the fly) to go for a whizz. Some of them practically drop their trousers down to their ankles. Its weird stuff like that that makes me nervous!

I open the belt sometimes. Stupid button flies.

cooperguy

Ya he should have taken one further away but he didnt why the hell would you get stage fright?? How is any differnt from a busy bar? Your friend was right.

What annoys me is people who choose the middle urinal when there is 3 to choose from therfore making it impossible to leave a gap between you and him.

Duggy747

Yea, that's sometimes annoying when someone chooses the one beside you, though when I've been drinking I don't give a fúck, I just wanna pee! I used to hate it when at the corner of my eye I could see the guy next to me taking a quick peek at me :eek: Now whenever someone does that I just look at them straight away, makes them feel dead awkward

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Yea, that's sometimes annoying when someone chooses the one beside you, though when I've been drinking I don't give a fúck, I just wanna pee! I used to hate it when at the corner of my eye I could see the guy next to me taking a quick peek at me :eek: Now whenever someone does that I just look at them straight away, makes them feel dead awkward

You should say to him. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours goods.

-TK^Creator

Duggy747 wrote:

Yea, that's sometimes annoying when someone chooses the one beside you, though when I've been drinking I don't give a fúck, I just wanna pee! I used to hate it when at the corner of my eye I could see the guy next to me taking a quick peek at me :eek: Now whenever someone does that I just look at them straight away, makes them feel dead awkward

or say hey nice penis....

Ger_Hankey

-TK^Creator wrote:

or say hey nice penis....

I was watching Crocodile Dundee last week on TV..
"Thats not a d*ck, THIS, is a d*ick!!"

although that might not work too well if you aren't too well endowed...

Blitzkrieger

Mizu_Ger wrote:

what about fellas who undo their belt and all

I'm not risking chafing on the zipper - what are you, mad?

Jesus Wept

The-Rigger wrote:

Original Post

I found a mistake on Problem 4


It says Urinals 1 and 6 are both correct answers as they are both an equal distance away from the 2 guys pissing in urinals 3 and 4.


I choose urinal 1, because the guy in urinal 4 had his hands behind his back, this means there is more of a chance of splashback/him losing his aim and it getting on us.


The quiz ignored this. I think I am an A+ student for noticing this and factoring it into my answer.

MikeHoncho

I much prefer the privacy of a cubicle whenever possible. It just seems to me that if you have the option you might as well piss in privacy. Why would you choose to have the possibilties of all the things that can go wrong at the urinal: Splash back, pervo's checkin out your stuff, stage fright, overshaking in the eyes of others, people wanting to talk to you etc.