Overweight

Gumbyman

I'm fat. Any ideas how I can lose some weight? I don't want to diet as I love food and I have no interest in exercising.

Cheers,
Fatboy Fat.

Spud83

Get a knife and just start chutting off chunks!

easyontheeye

your taking the piss right?! you deserve to be a lard ass with that attitude...ever heard of you only get out of it what you put into it?

maybe you should stop putting so much into it!

red_ice

hah, either your taking the p1ss or your deluded!

You cant have your cake and eat it (excuse the wording). You should look into getting a hobby. It really does sound like your not bothred about losing weight because if you were you would make the sacrifice and put the work in. Im sure you can find a happy medium of food and work.

Take up swimming or something, and walk there and back. If you swim for an hour 2 times a week, that will be a fair work out. Get a bike, go for a cycle.. If you have alot of weight, maybe join a gym and take up weights and convert that fat into muscle.

Theres plenty of stuff you can do, you just have to be willing to make the effort, otherwise you wont go anywhere

jdivision

One for the fitness forum I think

gutta

red_ice wrote:

otherwise you wont go anywhere

To Hell in a handbasket.

The OP is seriously fat, then she's well on the way to coronary fatigue and ultimately failure. I think she should be taxed more than me since her weight is going to burden the state's health care services.

Conor108

Well if you don't want to diet or excercise then the only choices are:

1. Feck it and keep eating
2. Liposuction

projectmayhem

Gumbyman wrote:

I'm fat. Any ideas how I can lose some weight? I don't want to diet as I love food and I have no interest in exercising.

Cheers,
Fatboy Fat.

while i suspect this is a serious piss take i'll give you some advice, stop eating snacks all day, drink lots of water to detox and replenish your body & skin, then go visit your local gym, get an assessment done and they'll show you what to do (lots of cardio i would imagine). in 6 weeks you'll notice a massive difference in your body and the way you feel.

there is no other way to do it, other then to simply wait for some sort of heart attack to set in and kill you stone dead.

Gumbyman

It's fine for you all - well you might laugh. God knows I'd probably laugh too if I were in your shoes. But it makes me depressed. Then I drink and I always stop off for 2 kebabs on the way home. On average I eat 2 dinners every day, a big breakfast and I enjoy the occasional snack 4 or 5 times a day. I walk to work (20 minutes each way). Nobody ever mentions my weight and I think it is awkward with people cause I know they're probably all calling me lardass behind my back. I think it's time to do something now. Maybe I'll take up swimming. I used to enjoy that when I was small (no pun intended). I'm over 11 stone at this stage!!!!!

Smellyirishman

jdivision wrote:

One for the fitness forum I think

With that attitude? I don't think so .

Tough **** OP, get used to it or get up off your ass.

Gumbyman

Thanks for the help by the way. Water is a definite to do thing. I barely drink enough at all.

Gumbyman

Who (or what) is OP by the way?

PeakOutput

Gumbyman wrote:

It's fine for you all - well you might laugh. God knows I'd probably laugh too if I were in your shoes. But it makes me depressed. Then I drink and I always stop off for 2 kebabs on the way home. On average I eat 2 dinners every day, a big breakfast and I enjoy the occasional snack 4 or 5 times a day. I walk to work (20 minutes each way). Nobody ever mentions my weight and I think it is awkward with people cause I know they're probably all calling me lardass behind my back. I think it's time to do something now. Maybe I'll take up swimming. I used to enjoy that when I was small (no pun intended). I'm over 11 stone at this stage!!!!!

giving you the benefit of the rather large doubt. 11stone is not that heavy depending on your height.............im 13st and im nowhere near "fat".

if you are serious about losing weight then read the stickies in the fitness forum and ask any questions you have there but if you start a thread saying "i want this and im not willing to do anything to get it" you will prob get an insta ban

if you are 11st over the weight you should be and still refuse to do excersise and not eat properly thats a different story and you can probably find a doctor to clamp your stomach(cant remember the technical name of the operation)

otherwise you are probably trolling so just keep up what your doing

mcauley

Clearly a poor attempt to provoke a reaction.....but its worked!!

On a seperate note:

alanmurphy83 wrote:

Get a knife and just start chutting off chunks!

ROFL

blah

Gumbyman wrote:

It's fine for you all - well you might laugh. God knows I'd probably laugh too if I were in your shoes. But it makes me depressed. Then I drink and I always stop off for 2 kebabs on the way home. On average I eat 2 dinners every day, a big breakfast and I enjoy the occasional snack 4 or 5 times a day. I walk to work (20 minutes each way). Nobody ever mentions my weight and I think it is awkward with people cause I know they're probably all calling me lardass behind my back. I think it's time to do something now. Maybe I'll take up swimming. I used to enjoy that when I was small (no pun intended). I'm over 11 stone at this stage!!!!!

I'm over 11 stone. Does that mean people call me a lardass behing my back?

I've tried everything, eating low fat crisps, low fat chocolate, diet coke, low fat oven chips, mcdonalds salads, everything! I even got the Jade Goody exercise video!

PeakOutput

Gumbyman wrote:

Who (or what) is OP by the way?

original poster

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Smellyirishman

Gumbyman wrote:

Who (or what) is OP by the way?

You are the Original Poster (OP).

What height are you and what sex? (I'm assuming male)

Kinetic^

Gumbyman wrote:

I'm fat. Any ideas how I can lose some weight? I don't want to diet as I love food and I have no interest in exercising.

Cheers,
Fatboy Fat.

So you're fat and lazy and don't want to eat properly..........hmm, might I suggest an attitude transplant as with your current model you're going to be getting a stick to pry your fat ass out of bed!!!

Saruman

11 Stone? Are you 5 feet tall? Im 6 feet tall and 11 stone would be very UNDERWEIGHT for me.
My ideal is between 12.5 and 13.5 stone which is what i used to be before i got married. Now im overweight at 16stone, well whatever 102KG is anyway.
So unless you are a very short, you are NOT fat!

Gumbyman

I suppose it's a mental thing. I perceive myself as a lardass.

Gumbyman

Kenny 5 wrote:

So you're fat and lazy and don't want to eat properly..........hmm, might I suggest an attitude transplant as with your current model you're going to be getting a stick to pry your fat ass out of bed!!!

I am quite lazy. First to admit it! What I want is a quick fix that requires minimal effort. I want to lose weight but couldn't be bothered going to too much trouble about it. I'm male and I am a bit under 6 feet tall in height when standing up against, say, a wall.

Kinetic^

I really want to offer you advice but tbh, I'm too lazy.......

Smellyirishman

Gumbyman wrote:

I am quite lazy. First to admit it! What I want is a quick fix that requires minimal effort. I want to lose weight but couldn't be bothered going to too much trouble about it. I'm male and I am a bit under 6 feet tall in height when standing up against, say, a wall.

Good luck with that. Enjoy your millions when you figure it out.

At that height-weight ratio, you're average anyway. This thread is ridiculous.

Owen

Well, to be honest, I felt like the OP a few months back. I was 14.5 stone, and 5'8 in height, and the only place my chubiness showed was at my belly, so it looked like I was pregnant. It's difficult to loose weight, when you can't get motivated to excercise, or eat healthily, BUT there are clever ways to fool yourself and get into it.

It's 2 months down the road, and I'm now 13.25 stone. I feel fantastic, and I know I'm going to stick at it until the end of the summer, with a target weight of 12 stone. And I'm not excercising either, I'm just eating healthier foods than I ate before - not completely healthy foods, I still treat myself, but they're better than the ones I was on. Coke zero instead of Coke for example, and on a Friday, at about 4pm when work is almost finished, I'll have a bar of Dairy Milk to reward myself for doing so well througout the week, and I'll make sure to such each square so I can taste the chocolaty goodness for about 30 mins

I was never a lardass, but a bad breakup drove me to bad eating habits. Thankfully now, I'm a hell of a lot healthier, and I've started to want to excercise, which is something I never thought would happen.

PeakOutput

if your not a troll go see a councillor(sp) you clearly have self image issues

Saruman

So if you are 5.10 or 5.11 and 11 stone you are not overweight. You are fine.
You might just need to tone yourself. As you suggested, swimming is the best way of doing that.

Canis Lupus

Try vomitting after meals that way you get to taste the food you love twice.......

blah

I've developed a new kind of diet pill, it contain a recently discovered jungle plant extract. Take one a day, and you will reach your desired weight within a month, also it tones your muscles, and cleans and straightens your teeth!

Gumbyman

Canis Lupus wrote:

Try vomitting after meals that way you get to taste the food you love twice.......

Jaysus!! :eek:

Ned78 - thanks. That sounds like a good plan. I'll try it for a while. Need to give up booze for a few weeks for exams anyway so will make an 'effort' to eat better food. Cut out take aways and that sort of thing. I know I'm not technically obese or anything but I got a paunch that needs punching.

By the way why are some of you calling me a troll? Is this some internet term that all the kids are using these days or is it just just a reference to a big troll under a bridge?

Also by the way, if you think I'm taking the piss or my problem doesn't merit help just because I'm not fooking myself off a cliff or cheating on my wife or beating up elderly people - gfy (that is a new internet term type thing I invented - feel free to use it as our own). I'm just a guy looking for some tips.

Smellyirishman

Gumbyman wrote:

I'm just a guy looking for some tips.

Diet and exercise...but oh wait...you don't want to do that.

Troll.
GFY. (Sorry to break it to you)

Gumbyman

Smellyirishman wrote:

GFY. (Sorry to break it to you)

Sheeeat! My moment is gone. Cheers for links anyway. And I aint no troll!

Marksie

I am locking this thread until the OP contacts me.

In the meantime, if it does reopen, remember the charter.

Marksie

I am locking this thread until the OP contacts me.

In the meantime, if it does reopen, remember the charter there have been any number of breaches.

Edit: OP PMed and requested Thread remained closed.